Articles, Blog

Bowser’s military hierarchy | Unraveled

August 16, 2019


Bowser. King Koopa. The authoritarian turtle with a penchant for
princess-napping. His very name strikes fear into the heart
of man and mushroom alike. And he’s also pretty good at figure skating. But when you focus on Bowser’s many attempts
to put the Mushroom Kingdom under his rule, you might forget that to order fuel his violent
vanity projects, he must put hundreds of henchmen into harm’s way. And by harm’s way, I mean in front of Mario. But me? I never forget the troops. And today I’m honoring those who have put
their lives on the line for a megalomaniacal turtle. Today, I’m presenting you with Bowser’s
military hierarchy. I can’t go any further than that, I’m
sorry. “But Brian,” I hear you ask, “Why does
Bowser need a military hierarchy?” And folks, I hear you. I hear your questions constantly. They come to me in my dreams like a prophet
receiving visions from an angry god. Bowser needs a military hierarchy because
of the Geneva Conventions. Y’all remember those things? Those little rules that keep you from committing
war crimes? Look, I know Bowser is a bad dude, but I don’t
think that Nintendo would actively create a war criminal and then allow him to sit in
the backseat of a go-kart with a baby. This is thanks to how we define armed conflict. I read through the entirety of the Geneva
Conventions in order to find this information, which turned out to be unnecessary because
there is a far more succinct definition in a far shorter paper. But do I regret reading the Geneva Conventions? Of course not. Knowledge is its own reward. And could I really call this an Unraveled
if I didn’t spend a whole day reading 224 pages of dense legalese for no good reason? Of course I couldn’t. Of course I couldn’t… If Bowser wants to keep his armed conflict
above board, we need to codify his aggressions. So this means his henchmen need to follow
a command structure. One that is not at all clear cut in the games. All we need is a list of Bowser’s troops. That’s where this book comes in! It’s The Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia. The official listing of everything you could
ever want to know about the 17 games in the main series of Super Mario Bros. The main series are just the platformers,
none of the RPGs or spin offs. But the silver lining to this means that I can spend a different Unraveled talking about those games. Because God has cursed me for my hubris, and
my work is never finished. Of the 17 in the main series, I’m gonna
cut these three games, because they don’t have Bowser as the main antagonist. And I’m also gonna include Super Mario Odyssey,
because that came out after this book was published. That leaves us with 15 games and 226 enemies. I came to this number because I cut out the
variants. I cut out all of the shadow versions of Mario,
the minigame enemies, the enemies that are just machines, and Bowser’s fursonas. Because those should never be exposed to the
horrors of war. Now I need to figure out how to structure
this hierarchy. I asked myself, is there an analogous military
that is somewhat bloated, often antagonistic, and seems to be the only thing that the leadership
cares about funding? Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any real
life examples of this. So I’m loosely basing it on the US military. That means Bowser’s military **SMACK***
will be split up into branches based on which henchmen work best together, and I’m also
going to try to fit them alongside commissioned officers and enlisted troops. The standard command structure that’s found
in most militaries. Let’s start with the heads of state: Obviously,
we have Bowser up at the top, the commander in chief. His secretary of defense is gonna be Kamek, with Kamella standing by as
the National Security Council. We’ve also got Bowser Jr. up here, but he’s
not in a military role. He’s actually Secretary of Transportation. But that’s just pure nepotism. The rest of Bowser’s henchmen are going
to fit into this hierarchy, and I’m just gonna say one henchman per rank, the one that
epitomizes what that rank means. And I’m gonna list the rest of the enemies
on the screen. Because I do want to save at least a little
bit of paper. Uh. Obviously I don’t want to save paper that
much. *paper guilt* Starting with our infantry,
we have our enlisted ranks with Private Goomba. This makes sense. It is the basic troop. Moving up a step to the corporal, we’ve
got the Galoomba. It’s more mature than the Goomba. And also, its name has an extra syllable and
is way more fun to yell. Pat: Look at this Galoomba! Brian: LOOK AT THIS GALOOMBA! Chargin’ Chuck is a great pick for sergeant
class, because this troop obviously enlisted right after being their high school star quarterback
and moved up through the ranks quickly. And now that we’re up at warrant officer,
the top of the enlisted ranks. We’ve got, it’s just a tower of Goombas. Kind of like the Naval Academy’s Herndon
Monument, Goombas become stronger and work together better when they’re standing on
top of one another. Moving our way up to the commissioned officers,
we start out with officer cadet. And that’s gonna be Twirlip. It’s got the round, soft body of a day one
ROTC recruit, but there’s ambition in those eyes. Second lieutenant, we’ve got the Snailicorn. It’s the natural evolution from the officer
cadet, but a bit more dangerous. By the time you’ve reached First Lieutenant,
you’ve really proved your mettle and are ready to show your dedication to the cause. And what better way to show your dedication
than to be literally shot from a cannon. By the time you reach captain, you need to
have a top-down perspective. And that’s why the Pokey’s height is great
for this rank. Also, the Pokey understands how to take calculated
losses in stride, like having literally all of their torso punched out from under them
and still maintaining a smile. Next we have Major Squizzard, and I’m gonna
gloss over him, ’cause his name makes me uncomfortable. For lieutenant colonel, I chose Wiggler, because
they’re able to maintain composure and only release their aggression when it’s absolutely
necessary. But quick shout out to Stairface Ogre, who
is also a lieutenant colonel and sounds like he could be a member of the Wu Tang Clan. Next, we have Colonel Spike. At the colonel rank, you’re not only dealing
with wartime issues, but also the internal politics of the military, which is why Spike makes time to have a few rounds of tennis with the boss. A Brigadier General needs an eye for detail
and a strong guiding hand. And that’s literally all Knucklotec is. Major Burrows really deserves the rank of
major general because he has demonstrated a powerful understanding of many strategies
in many different battle arenas. But more than that, he has this tender leadership
quality that makes him not only respected, but loved by his peers. And then above him is a fucking T-Rex. Unfortunately, even the military hierarchy
is not insulated from nepotism. And though no one would describe Petey Piranha
as capable in literally any circumstance, his father took a bullet for Bowser back in
the Korean War, so now he’s a general. And finally, we have our field marshall, the
five-star general. Obviously, this person is going to oversee
every aspect of Bowser’s infantry, and it has to be filled with the most overpowered
troop. So it’s Ukiki. This shitheel of a monkey plays dumb, but
he’s the Sun Tzu of Bowser’s army. Listen to these quotes: And that is the basic structure of Bowser’s
infantry, though there are also three special divisions of infantry units that are trained
to fight in different conditions. The Lava and the Ice divisions are still found
under Field Marshal Ukiki and they don’t have any enlisted troops. I won’t talk too much about these two, but
I think they are epitomized by the Bully for the Lava group, and the Chill Bully for the
ice group, who is exactly like the Bully, except he’ll kind of go easy on you if he
can tell you’re having a rough day. And the third special unit in the infantry
is the spectral unit, or the Dry Corps, because not even death can excuse you from service
in Bowser’s army. I do want to talk about the implications of
this unit for a moment. Specifically Dry Bones and Dry Bowser, whose
naming conventions confuse and frighten me. When I die, will I become Dry Brian? Is a living Bowser… Wet Bowser? Why do Piranha Plant have bone in it? Next we have our aquatic troops. Where can you find pleasure, search the world
for treasure, learn science technology? Um. Where can you begin to make your dreams all
come true, on the land or on the sea? *SINGING* IN THE NAVY! I won’t overstay my welcome on the naval
forces because we already understand what each of the ranks in the hierarchy entail. But I did just want to point out one troop. The Gushen. Because its name is the Gushen. And I had to learn that its name was the Gushen. And now you need to know that it’s called
a Gushen as well. And of course, the admiral of the fleet is
going to be Unagi. Because Unagi is the most terrifying character
ever rendered. Get fucked, Mr. X. Now on to the Air Force, we start with the
Paragoomba at our lowest rank. And honestly, we’re gonna skip ahead to wing
commander, because most of the Air Force is just infantry but with wings attached. Lakitu is our wing commander. You might remember him as that helpful guy
who picks you up in Mario Kart. But he actually got his start in carpet bombing. And it might seem redundant to have Klepto
as the marshal of the Air Force. But if there’s one strategy that Bowser’s
military understands better than anything else, it’s stealing hats. And these are the branches of Bowser’s military. Of course, there are also Special Forces. Units that Bowser can send in when he needs
something to be done quietly and cleanly. Like when the he sent the Broodals to perform
the extrajudicial killing of Professor E. Gadd. Next we’ve got the Bros. I’m talking the Hammer Bro, the Fire Bro,
every bro in between. You can learn more about them in the HBO series,
Band of Brothers. I assume. I’ve never watched the show. It’s time for the special forces called
The Funny Parade! It’s the Funny Parade! You know about Thwomps, but did you know that
there are Thwimps? And the Whomps have Whimps? Thwimps and Thwomps and Whimps and Whomps
and Grindels and Spindels and Grrrols. There’s Tox Box and Flomps and Rhomps and
Bomps and Walleyes and Wallops and they’re all pretty much invincible and they will crush
you without hesitation like a cartoonish Sherman’s March to the Sea. Next, we’ve got the Koopalings. They’re sort of like the Seal Team 6 of Bowser’s
army. Iggy, Larry, Lemmy, Roy, Wendy O., Ludwig
Von. Notice that I did not include Morton Koopa
Jr., because despite what he has written in his memoirs, he’s never actually been active
duty, and he’s a valor stealing bastard. And the final special forces team. It’s the Stus. Strollin’ Stu (strollin’ stu). Soarin’ Stu (soarin’ stu). Swipin’ Stu (swipin’ stu). Smolderin’ Stu (smolderin’ stu). *Pat laughs offscreen.* I don’t know if
they’re good at fighting but they are good at being
the best fucking characters in Mario. And that is every troop in Bowser’s military. Except for these six specific ones. They didn’t really fit in the military structure. They don’t act like military. The Koopa Troopas from Super Mario 64, they
don’t even antagonize you. Like, they go about their business unless
you go out of your way to attack them. So, again, they don’t even, like, feel like
military. Uh, they act more like civilians, to be honest. *realizing an unfortunate truth* Oh my god, they’re civilians. Okay, so maybe reading the full Geneva Conventions
wasn’t such an unnecessary thing after all. There’s this thing called the Rome Statute
of the International Criminal Court, and in Article 8 Subsection 2, it states that grave
breaches of the Geneva Conventions count as war crimes. And if these Koopa Troopas are in fact not
Troopas, but civilians, and Mario kills them, then that is a direct violation of Article
8 Part 2, subsection B, 1: (i) Intentionally directing attacks at the civilian population… Mario is a war criminal. But that’s not the only breach, God no. Subsection A 4: Extensive destruction and
appropriation of property. Destroying a brick to gain a coin. Subsection A 5, Compelling a prisoner of war…
to serve in the forces of a hostile Power. What else could you call using Cappy to possess enemies and then forcing them to fire on their own friends? Subsection A 8, Taking of hostages. What was Mario doing with that penguin child? You might think, hey, maybe Mario’s just become
hardened after years of onslaught by Bowser, but LOOK BACK TO MARIO’S YOUTH! I know I didn’t include Yoshi’s Island
in these lists of games, but Subsection B, 21: Committing outrages upon personal dignity,
in particular humiliating and degrading treatment. Yoshi made Burt the Bashful’s pants fall
down! But Baby Mario gave the order. He already feels bashful! You didn’t need to pants the man! Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes, and I’m not even including the child soldiers he has enlisted in the RPGs. But luckily, I’ve already compiled an extensive
PDF that I have just emailed to the Hague, outlining Mario’s crimes. Still, it’s important to note that Bowser
is also at fault. The great loss of Goomba life is a tragedy,
no matter which side you are on. The true enemy is war itself. And to fix that, we have to turn to the only
thing that’s worked in the past. Song. One more time everyone! We are the Toads. We are the goombas. So please stop jumping on each other, ya big
Galoombas! Why do we fight to take each others’ space,
when there’s so mushroom to spare. We could all have extra lives if we just share.

100 Comments

  • Reply DJ What if July 23, 2019 at 8:42 am

    Did my boy just name drop the wutang clan? Damn

  • Reply xXProtoslayer71Xx _ July 23, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    The song in the end made me realize that Brian is just a modern day John Lennon

  • Reply hunter keps July 24, 2019 at 1:47 am

    Wait so, if Gushen dies, does that make it dry Gushen?

  • Reply Clammy July 24, 2019 at 11:04 am

    What about the Sun?

  • Reply Kain 128 July 24, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    Keronpa Balls should be in the Lava infantry. They are invincible, can infinitely produce fire, can float, and are round, so it is easier to transport.

  • Reply THE FOLLOWING COMMENT IS PAID FOR BY GEORGE SOROS July 24, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Ah… You couldn't get thru the video without making an inane manchild NPC observation of Trump. Of course you can't, little numale brainlet.

  • Reply FLEX_TAPE! July 25, 2019 at 1:58 am

    "Lakitu actually got his start in carpet bombing" the way he said that with a straight face amazed me

  • Reply FLEX_TAPE! July 25, 2019 at 1:58 am

    "Crush you without hesitation

  • Reply Zym July 25, 2019 at 3:35 am

    thanks to this video my father now refers to this man as “the mario-is-a-war-criminal guy”

  • Reply Anna-chi TwoFourSix July 25, 2019 at 5:19 am

    The Stus. HOW COULD I EVER FORGET THE STUS 😂😂😂

  • Reply Venus Kogane July 25, 2019 at 7:48 am

    This is one of your best videos, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe! I had to leave the room and calm down.

  • Reply Guinea Girl July 25, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    Someone should do a pacifist speedrun of some mario game and not kill anything other than the bosses and mini bosses

  • Reply dusted25 July 25, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    Wet Brian is my current favorite Polygon creator

  • Reply Jacob Putzer July 25, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    We salute the gombas

  • Reply Sanjiv Rasiah July 25, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    later

  • Reply Space Scribs July 25, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    Broke: Mario is a sociopath

    Woke: Mario is a war criminal in violation of several articles of the Geneva Convention

  • Reply deus vault July 25, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    8:29 cereal when has milk

  • Reply Neon Volta July 25, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Rtgame lads rise up

  • Reply UglyChunky July 25, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    bdg really has luscious hair

  • Reply Whats this do Seriously July 26, 2019 at 6:26 am

    As soon as I saw the ranking system It felt like one of those school projects that no one wants to do

  • Reply Hanna Edwards July 26, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    i love this man

  • Reply Fergus Fisher July 27, 2019 at 8:49 am

    Where can I download this song.

  • Reply Niklas Neighbor July 27, 2019 at 10:36 am

    the koopas are allowed to join the Military, and most do so, however, some dont (like koopa the quick) the bricks are property on peaches side, and he was supposed to bring the Penguin Baby back to his mom

  • Reply Nick Martin July 28, 2019 at 5:01 am

    WHERE IS CHAINCHOMP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Chip's Creations July 30, 2019 at 12:27 am

    Twimps and Thwomps and wimps and womps

  • Reply Juno Blackleaf July 30, 2019 at 4:14 am

    this video made me cry

  • Reply pandamaster 1152 July 30, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    IN THE NAVY!

  • Reply SolrSurfr3 July 30, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    3:00 – 3:21 Oh the SHADE!! XD

  • Reply Lev Obzor July 30, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    5:10 You see, all of you "vote for Broozer" stans, while your candidate is chilling and smashing blocks and barrels in ghost houses, our brave Snailicorn fights bravely in the troops, now you can see the braveness and humbleness of our candidate, you know for whom to vote. #Snailicorn4King

  • Reply kevin willems July 31, 2019 at 3:42 am

    11:54

  • Reply Jane Bick July 31, 2019 at 4:46 am

    Amazing content.

  • Reply Jane Bick July 31, 2019 at 4:47 am

    Polygon is blessed by u bdg.

  • Reply Mat U July 31, 2019 at 4:59 am

    The song really got me

  • Reply SuggestiveWhiteFluff July 31, 2019 at 5:21 am

    "Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes" is not how I planned to spend my evening.

  • Reply nil tuna July 31, 2019 at 6:43 am

    WHEN 👏🏻 ARE 👏🏻 ARE 👏🏻 YOU 👏🏻 DROPPING 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 ALBUM 👏🏻

  • Reply Patrick Dy July 31, 2019 at 6:44 am

    Goombas were originally part of the Mushroom Kingdom, but turned against them due to being discriminated by the Toad majority.
    I'm only partially making this up.

  • Reply Triotus _ August 1, 2019 at 12:41 am

    After the Zelda timeline and this I had to subscribe

  • Reply Thisistotallymyrealname August 1, 2019 at 3:24 am

    This dude gives off hella musical theatre vibes

  • Reply Khie Remaneses August 2, 2019 at 11:58 am

    I dont play Mario. Why am I watching this?

  • Reply metalmaster7789 August 2, 2019 at 12:05 pm

    NO SHY GUYS??!?

  • Reply Random Channel August 2, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    11:10

    This is here for me to repeat.

  • Reply Gabriella Zane August 2, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    W E T B O W S E R

  • Reply Meofa August 2, 2019 at 6:31 pm

    6:21 "And that's literally all that Knuclotec is"

    shows a video clip of Eyerok

  • Reply TheGoodGoomba August 2, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Mollusque Lanceur should be underneath admiral because his full name is “ Brigadier Mollusque Lanceur III, Dauphin of Bubblaine” according to the official Super Mario Odyssey guide

  • Reply David August 3, 2019 at 12:07 am

    This is the guy that made the updated pokerap with all pokemon!!

  • Reply Jael Henby August 3, 2019 at 11:32 am

    7:00
    I'm a general, Whee!

  • Reply Kay August 3, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    "i don't think nintendo would actively create a war criminal"
    {five minutes later}
    "mario is a war criminal"

  • Reply Spiel August 3, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    8:15 "Will i become dry brian when I die?"
    "Is living bowser, wet bowser?"

    "Why do pirahna plant have bone in it?"

  • Reply joop foop August 4, 2019 at 2:30 am

    oh god this man can sing he’s too powerful and chaotic

  • Reply alec carey August 4, 2019 at 3:06 am

    The only thing that works is singing 13:45….

    .then what about Hiroshima

  • Reply o3o August 4, 2019 at 5:26 am

    LOOK AT THIS G A L O O M B A

  • Reply Joker ___ August 4, 2019 at 6:45 am

    Can we get a full version of we are the toads?

    Please

  • Reply Nikkita Puppy August 4, 2019 at 7:45 am

    Best charity single in history and it's for video game characters. I love this channel.
    And thank you for practically confirming MatPat's theory that Mario is, at least, an extremely horrible person.

  • Reply Onion toaster Sam August 4, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    Can We make him the CEO Of everything

  • Reply aquadraco20 August 4, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    This has got to be the funniest video that I've seen in years.

  • Reply Mistaken_ Mistaker August 4, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    You'd be great friends with matpat

  • Reply Bartley Newkirk August 4, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    I heard “and then above him is a fucking t-Rex” and subescribed instantly

  • Reply Dr. Glitchgo August 5, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    2:18 It's "Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins" not "Super Mario Land 3". Because SML3 is "Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land"

  • Reply Jack Flack August 5, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    13:55 I thought He was gonna say nuclear bombs

  • Reply Mikalhvi August 6, 2019 at 5:46 am

    I want "Mario is a War Criminal" on a t-shirt.

  • Reply Walter Kovacs August 6, 2019 at 10:17 am

    I really watched this

  • Reply Losers Inc August 6, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    Megalomaniac turtle,

    So Kim Jon Un?

  • Reply Blooky Beat August 6, 2019 at 5:36 pm

    I feel enlightened

  • Reply Kiernan Z August 6, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    “So I’m loosely basing it on the US military”

  • Reply Josiah Klein August 6, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    So insults are technically war crimes?

  • Reply YuuKanda07 August 6, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    "oh no my microphone

    This is my third time watching this, and I just now noticed that. Hahaha

  • Reply Panda August 7, 2019 at 12:13 am

    the US military bit got me

  • Reply Jason Basile August 7, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Not sure why I paid attention to this but at 2:20, but Mario land 3 is supposed to be Mario land 2.

  • Reply Archangel964 August 8, 2019 at 4:16 am

    Unraveled is just extra chaotic, more interesting and generally more funny game theory and I love it.

  • Reply muppokat August 8, 2019 at 10:49 am

    when in the navy sneaks in…. chills

  • Reply Fettbacke Hamster August 8, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Please help this man. He seems to have the big sad

  • Reply Hawk Sabbath August 9, 2019 at 8:46 am

    3:17 Brian- I couldnt find any examples of this so im loosely basing it on-

    Me- It sounds like the-

    Me and Brian in sync- US military

  • Reply Jamie Cho August 9, 2019 at 10:13 am

    Watching the ending again but actually knowing who everyone is makes it feel even better

  • Reply Juan Pablo Robayo August 9, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    “…oh my God, they’re civilians”
    Me: “OHHH MY GOD THEY’RE CIVILIANS!!”

  • Reply DapperJazz August 9, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    HE CAN SING

    OUR GOD CAN SING

  • Reply Hayden Weiss August 10, 2019 at 3:19 am

    He makes me question my sexuality more than anything ever has.

  • Reply Juliana Caldarelli August 10, 2019 at 6:18 am

    Can someone with an ear for music write down the chords for the song at the end

  • Reply Wunderful August 10, 2019 at 7:16 am

    8:18
    Is… Is that a MBMBAM quote?

    Or? Has that always been his quote and it just radiates McElroy energy so much that I hallucinated Griffin saying this?

  • Reply Hitmon Chan August 10, 2019 at 8:35 am

    WHEN will Mario pay for his crimes?

  • Reply V.V August 10, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    this might be my favorite episode of Unraveled

  • Reply ValkoorMoonblood August 11, 2019 at 2:58 am

    "I'll loosely base it on the US military" lmao

  • Reply Person below me Is gay August 11, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Fishy boopkins is a colonel?

  • Reply Kaio Manuel August 11, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    I've rewinded to 10:31 4 times now and I'm willing to keep going back for more of the sweet song

  • Reply Christian Smith August 11, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    I subscribed just for this man

  • Reply quin.q August 12, 2019 at 12:48 am

    where did the full version of the song go ?!

  • Reply Gee Buttersnaps August 12, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    I think turning toads to bricks is a war crime
    Unless they aren't considered human
    Oh God

  • Reply Riverfox237 August 12, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    "Why do paranha plant have bone in it?"

    THE REAL QUESTIONS

    (Actually maybe it's because it's a literal piranha plant? Are those fish bones?!"

  • Reply Kieran Englefield August 13, 2019 at 9:15 am

    Peacekeepers go about their business unless you attack them so still a war crime probably
    But seriously peacekeepers don’t do jack

  • Reply Ellie Koenig August 13, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Ok so I dozed off at the beginning and woke up around 14:20 and boy I was not expecting to wake up to that

  • Reply challengedcat 64 August 13, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    The stew part was amazing!

  • Reply M12GProductions August 13, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    Support our troopas.

  • Reply Husky345 M August 14, 2019 at 1:58 am

    11:48

  • Reply manzaz zikino August 14, 2019 at 3:27 am

    Actually the blocks in mario are made out of toads

  • Reply jmit126 August 15, 2019 at 1:10 am

    If Mario ever used a Fire Flower against a Koopa Troopa, then he's also in violation of Protocol III of the United Nations Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons, prohibiting the use of incendiary weapons against civilians.

  • Reply Agent _SpyZap August 15, 2019 at 1:29 am

    Where can I download this song.

  • Reply Dianna Harris August 15, 2019 at 3:40 am

    “Major Burrows really deserves the rank of major general because he has demonstrated a powerful understanding of many strategies in many different battle arenas. But more than that, he has this tender leadership quality that makes him not only respected, but loved by his peers..

    -and then above him is a fucking T-Rex.

  • Reply fireball111121 August 15, 2019 at 5:39 am

    I look forward to the day that I can play as every single one of these characters in Mario Party/Mario Kart

  • Reply I'm a dove, grrr August 15, 2019 at 11:49 am

    I mean the song at the end kinda slapped ngl

  • Reply DoomFoxofDeath August 15, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    I really like the new direction MatPat has taken with Game Theory.

  • Reply Skippy Parker August 15, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    This is by far my favorite video on all of YouTube.

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