Articles, Blog

Bristol Bonanza | Rags To Riches #12

December 9, 2019


This is Rags-To-Riches, our journey through the English football system that started all the way down in the tenth tier of English football. Every week we pick a team, and if they won we got promoted up and this week we’re in tier three, League One, two victories away from the motherland, the Premier League, and we’re going to spice things up today! We’re here today in Bristol. Rags To Riches is coming to its end and so we thought we need to spice things up, because it’s getting a little boring in these top tiers I’m not gonna to lie, so, this is what we’re going to do. We’re here today in Bristol, we’re going to go to Bristol Rovers game, they’re currently in League One, tier three, which is where we are in our journey, and if they win that game today and I’m going stay here in Bristol on my friends sofa for an entire week and then we’re going to go to the Championship, tier two, and watch Bristol City. And if we win them both you know where we are it’s the Premier League baby! Chin Chin. Matt: Danny what you doing? Huh? Matt: What you doing? Right then time for game one, I believe in you Rovers! Bristol Bonanza here we come. Time for a tipple. QUICK FACT HISTORY: Bristol Rovers formed in 1883. They play their football at the Memorial Stadium. Just two years ago they were playing their football in the fifth tier of English football; the National League. They won promotion in a penalty shootout at Wembley and then last season they were going into the final game of the season with the table looking like this. they needed a win to get promotion. They went into the game, 90th minute, 1-1, then this happened. Absolute scenes you wouldn’t believe your eyes, Bristol Rovers snatching promotion with the last kick of the game going up the League One. And this season they’re going stronger, they’re on their way towards the playoffs and today they’re playing they’re very close rivals, Swindon Town. Their star man to look out for can be none other than their main man Matty Taylor, top goalscorer for the last two seasons running, top goal scorer this season, this guy’s banging in the goals for them. You saw nothing. What a goal! Yes! What a goal! One game down, one to go, Bristol Bonanza the dream is still on. It’s half time in the video, let’s soak up a bit of the city and have a little tipple. Fine I won’t have a tipple. Stupid fans. Bristol City formed in 1894. That better be right. They play their football at the Ashton Gate stadium. They’ve been floating around tier two and three of the English Football League for the last 30 years, they were in the top flight for four years in the late seventies, but currently they’ve been in between tier two and tier three. In 2015 they were in league one, they won promotion in emphatic style as well as what is now known as the Checktrade Trophy, beating Walsall 2-0. That’s a trophy so I thought I may as well mention it. Before their last game where they drew, they’d lost eight league games in a row so City are looking for some serious points today. Will they get them, we’re not so sure. But with the help of their star man Aden Flint, this man is a rock at the back, and can bang in the goals and that’s what they’ll need today. Hang on… I think I just remembered something… That’s right! Matty Taylor has just jumped he ship, the first player to jump from one side of Bristol to the other, and it’s not only A player, it’s THE player, THE player from the last game, their star man, Bristol Rovers, is now playing for Bristol City! What the F**k has just happened I don’t know. But he is now a Bristol City player, can he bang in the goals to push City up the table and get them to the Premier League, I don’t know, will he be playing today, I don’t know, I’m so confused! Matty Taylor, bang in the goals for us today son get us to the Premier League. Let’s get to the game! These pubs are the scariest Bristol City pubs according to our wonderful taxi man.I just wanna say our taxi man’s a legend. He’s not ready for it (being on video) but he’s a legend. He’s a legend. Thank you man. We’re in! Right then, Bristol Bonanza are you ready! I’m not. Cue awesome slow motion shots and lovely music. BOOM. Half an hour in, crowd’s getting restless. 0-0 against bottom of the league, not looking good. That’s as exciting as the game’s got so far. COME ON CITY. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR. AUDIO: BOO’S Boo’s. First time in the history of Rags To Riches I’ve heard boo’s at half time from the home crowd. They are not happy. Ooooh. AUDIO: BOO’S The boo’s are ringing. This is a hostile environment to be in right now man. COME ON YOU REDS! Ohh. CHALLENGE! COME ON SON! PUSH FORWARDS NOW! GO! Go on son! Turn him! Dink it! HEAD IT! OHH you Fadarahah. Shoot! Oh my god. Save! Ahhhh! ACTION! ACTUAL ACTION! What a save! The game’s finally come to life! Here he comes! Matty Taylor’s about to come on! Weyyy there he is! Matty Taylor, he’s on the pitch. Rovers hero, who we were literally watching last week is now playing for City right in front of my eyes. HE DIDN’T GET THE BALL! HE DIDN’T GET THE BALL! THAT’S A F****NG PENALTY ALL DAY! How’s that not a penalty?! Oh my god. Taylor, the man is making a difference. That should have been a pen. TURN HIM! SPREAD THE PLAY! YESSS!!!!! GET IN THERE! AUDIO: Goal for Bristol City scored by number 22, Milan Djuric! What a victory! Dunno who’s pint this is. F**k it! We deserve it after that. Premier League here we come!

No Comments

Leave a Reply