Articles, Blog

Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated – Official Documentary

January 23, 2020

( indistinct chatter ) Woman:
Careful with all the pillows
and all the art. Man:
Once we approve frame,
folks, we’re all clear. Once again,
check your cell phones. Thank you. Frame looks beautiful. Woman:
You look great. Everybody needs to clear. Every single person. You too. Okay. How are you feeling? Demi Lovato:
I actually had anxiety
around this… interview. Why is that? Because the last time I did
an interview this long, I was on cocaine. It was called “Staying Strong.” ( bulbs flashing quickly )I am Demi Lovato.( music playing )I’m 25.The last decade has taught me
a lifetime of lessons.
I’ve learned that
secrets make you sick.
I’m learning how to be
a voice and not a victim.
I’ve learned that
sex is natural.
I’ve learned that
love is necessary.
Heartbreak is unavoidable.And loneliness is brutal.I’ve learned that
the key to being happy
is to tell your truthand be okay
without all the answers.
This is my story.This… is
“Simply Complicated.”
(music ends)Producer:
I want you to hear the first
three lines you just did. They were great. Okay.♪ I see the future ♪♪ Without you ♪ ♪ The hell was I doing ♪♪ In the past? ♪♪ Now that I’ve learned
all about you ♪
♪ A love ♪♪ Just like ours
wouldn’t last. ♪
I think the first, um, line, the “you” on it isn’t good. Producer:
Okay, did you like
line number three? – Did you like this one?
– ( mouse click )♪ Now that I’ve learned
all about you ♪
– Yeah, the “you” is great.
– Yeah. And the “now,” I think I can
do a better “learned.” ♪ I won’t ♪ ♪ Fall ♪ ♪ For your games ♪ ♪ So don’t ♪ ♪ Hate me ♪ ♪ When I say ♪ Okay, there’s words that I like, but, overall, I don’t like
the whole take. Producer:
Ah! Okay. Those first two lines made me
feel something great, so whatever you’re doing… I’ll just keep doing it. ♪ That you… ♪ ♪ Don’t do it for me ♪ ♪ Anymore ♪ ♪ No, you… ♪ ( taps keyboard, song ends ) I really like this take. Just that last “ooh”
needs to be smoothed out. – ( taps keyboard )
– Yeah. I mean, in a perfect world,
absolutely. Well, this should be
a perfect world, it’s my album. ( chuckles ) Let’s go again. ♪ I won’t ♪ ♪ Fall ♪ ♪ For your game. ♪ Oops. ( bleep ). ♪ Fall. ♪ – ♪ Fall. ♪
– ( producer talking
indistinctly ) ♪ Fall. ♪♪ Stop feeling bad ♪♪ For yourself ♪♪ I won’t ♪ ♪ Fall ♪ ♪ For your games ♪ ♪ So don’t ♪ ♪ Hate me when I say ♪ I like that “me when I say.” Producer:
Yeah, I think, too. It’s only the third take. Yeah, I don’t know what to do. ( chuckles ) Well, I got to get
the other stuff first. ( laughs )
Here we go. ♪ That you… ♪ ♪ Don’t do it for me ♪ ♪ Anymore ♪ ♪ I’m sorry ♪ ♪ For honesty ♪ ♪ I’m well aware ♪ ♪ I lie to you ♪ ♪ When I lie with you ♪ ♪ You… ♪ ♪ Don’t do it for me ♪ ♪ Don’t do it ♪ ♪ For me ♪ ♪ You… ♪ ♪ Don’t do it ♪ ♪ For me ♪ ♪ Anymore. ♪ ( taps keyboard ) – That last line was great.
– Yeah. – ( mouse clicks )
– Hang on one sec. I mean thank you. ( laughter ) Yeah, I know I’m the ( bleep ). ( chuckles )( music playing )Growing up,I had been bullied in school.And…I felt like an outsider, I felt like an outcast.At that time,
I became friends with
a girl who was popular.And, one day, I asked her,“How do you have
all these friends?” And she was like,
“Well, do you party?” I was like, “What do you mean?”And she asked me,“Do you drink?”We experienced
a lot of stuff together, drinking, and using,
and… growing up. Marissa Callahan:
We started drinking
fairly early.
To me, it was like,
“We’re just having fun.We’re kids.Everyone’s doing it,
so we’re going to, too.”
Little did we know that there’s was gonna be, like,
this downward spiral.My first timedoing coke,I was 17,working on Disney Channel,
I was with
a couple of friends.And they introduced me to it.I was scared because
my mom always told me that your heart could
just burst if you do it. But I did it anyways, and I loved it.I felt out of control
with the coke
the first time that I did it.My dadwas an addict and an alcoholic.And…I guess I always searched
for what he found in
drugs and alcohol because it fulfilled him
and he chose that over a family. Dianna De La Garza:
Early on,
Demi was very, very sadbecause of her issues
with her dad.
( music playing )We had been through
a lot of the same things,kind of at the same time.Our parents were both divorced
at a young age.She dealt a lot with her dad.And the times where
he was brought up
wasn’t ever good.Like, he would tell themhe had cancer when he didn’t.Or he would tell them
he’s dying tomorrow
when he wasn’t.Dallas Lovato:
Growing up, I was always
really protective of Demi.
I remember my dadwas such a loving person,But,when he started drinking,he was very different.Dianna:
Scary things
began to happen. Dallas:
He would rage, and yell,
and throw things.And…Demi saw that.Dianna:
At the time,
I didn’t understand it.
I didn’t know
how to handle things.
But I knew thathe had a good heart.I never would’ve married him
in the first place
if he didn’t.But sometimes,
if you don’t get help for what you’re struggling with,a good heart
sometimes isn’t enough.
It just became too much
and I had to leave.( music playing )Dallas:
From a young age,
Demi, my mom, and I
had this incredible bond.We called ourselves “The 3 Ds.”It felt kind of like it was
us against the world.
Eddie’s my dad.When I say my dad
and I mean my birth father,
I mention that
it’s my birth father. Dallas:
Even though the dynamic
in our family
was always very loving
and very open,
on the other hand,
we were also very closed off
and secretive as well.We all had our own thingshidden behind
our own closed doors.
There were some things thatnobody knew. Demi:
I was depressed
at a very, very young age.Fascinated with death.Wondering what it would be liketo have a funeral. I never knew why I would thinkso darkly.And it took me a long time
to figure out what was actually going on. ( birds chirping ) ( indistinct chatter ) Look at how serious I am
in this picture. I’ve got the head tilt
and the “smize.”We started modeling
a little bit
when I was, like, five.And by modeling,
we didn’t have an agent, we just took pictures. We didn’t do anything… like, any actual jobs.Then we started doing
beauty pageants
and that’s what
got me into singing.
Hi. My name is Demi. Dallas:
Hi. I’m… I’m gonna be on “Jackass.” ( laughter ) Dianna:
We started off doing pageants
and I started to realize
that Demi, I guess, was…
– gifted.
– Was talented. Not human
when it came to her voice. Dianna:
When she was five years old,
she… had the nerve to go up
in front of the entire schoolto sing Celine Dion’s“My Heart Will Go On.” ( cheering and applause )And it was beautiful.That was the first time
I thought, “Okay, this is probably what
she’s gonna want to do the rest of her life.” Demi:
We tried really hard
to get an agent
We couldn’t get an agent. It was auditions,
like, all the time. Madison De La Garza:
I just remember
a lot of auditions
and a lot of car rides. I have so many memories of Demi getting a phone call,and then not getting the job.We would be really upsetfor a few days,
and then one day…
Is the band here? Not yet. Dianna:
She got “Barney.”
After I booked “Barney”,
I was constantly working
on music and acting.
I was taking lessons any chance that I could. Dianna:
Demi, good luck! I love you! Have fun!We had been working
really hard at it
since the pageant days,
and all of the headshots,
and lessons.When Demi walked in the room,I knew that she was
a flat-out entertainer.
She was standing by my piano,and she said,
“Can I sing for you?” And I said, “You bet you can.” ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪ She started this song… ♪ The newborn king ♪ ♪ Peace on Earth ♪ ♪ And mercy mild ♪ I… I just said, “Oh, my gosh. where did she get this voice?” ♪ Glory to ♪ When I was very young, I wanted to be like
Shirley Temple.Somebody that could
sing and act
at such a young age.♪ Glory to ♪ I don’t know how
I knew I had it in me, but I knew that it was
what I was supposed to do. ♪ King. ♪ ( static ) ♪ Looking out… ♪I started playing guitarat around eight
or nine years old. I was always playing music. She would be up
all hours of the night… Singing my heart out. – …writing.
– Some real tough ( bleep ). Demi:
Looking back, I think
I realized that I had
this outlet to…
pour my emotions out and create something beautiful.After I had finished
“Barney and Friends,”
what I ended up finding out
is that there was actually
a lot of pressure to find jobs. And the pressure didn’t come
from anybody but myself.I just wanted to succeed.( bell on door jingles )We started coming
out to California
for pilot season.I got guest-starring roles
on TV shows, commercials, things like that. My stuff? I never heard of them. And then I ended up bookinga TV show for Disney Channelcalled “As the Bell Rings.”
– ( bell rings ) Okay, I think we have something. Let’s put this together.And after “As the Bell Rings,”I booked “Camp Rock.”I was 15.Rock on.When I met Phil,he was managing
the Jonas Brothers. Joe Jonas:
We met Demi, I think,
originally it was an auditionof our TV show.We had a TV show
called “Jonas.”
She didn’t get it, but… – ( laughter )
– we…I think a year later, I think
we met in rehearsals probably
for “Camp Rock.”
Demi was attached
to the film already.

And I rememberyou went in ’cause you
had to sing the duetwith Demi’s character.You had already
laid down your part. – Mm-hmm.
– I went in with Joe, and I heard her voice,
I just had, like, goose bumps all over my arms. I was like– I stepped out of
the studio and I called Disney,
I was like,“Who is this girl?”I saw what he did
for the Jonas Brothers,and the fact that he wanted to
manage me was a huge deal to me
because he was with them
through it all.
Starring in “Camp Rock”
was Demi’s big break.It was just a massive franchise
that Disney had put
everything behind.And it just became
a pop culture,
sort of, sensation. To be able toget to do somethingas big as this,um, for my first project,it feels good. We really believed
that “Camp Rock”was the vehicle to become
a superstar.
And it was like overnight,
she became a household name.( music playing )I think Demiwas cast in so many different
Disney projectsbecause there was
a natural edge to her
that made her… authenticand believableas an actress or as an artist.I think they needed herto make their projects cooler.Demi:
Everything happened
so fast. We officially signed,and the next day,
I booked her a plane ticket
to go on tour
with the Jonas Brothers.
( cheering and applause )All of a sudden,I was on tour,writing songs for my albumwith the Jonas Brothers.And then I was on
a tour of my own.
Looking back,
I think that it was a lot
for anyone, let alone,a kid.I think that Demi
being on the Disney Channel, now looking back at it,
I can connect the dots and say that there was an
immense amount of pressure.I was now working on my music,and my TV show and moviesall at the same time.That lifestyle’s really crazy.Not a lot of people understand, like, the pressures,
and the time,and the amount of work
that it actually takes
to have such
a successful career
in the entertainment industry.So many more expectationsput on her than a normal
15, 16-year-old girl would have. Phil:
She was living two lives.
Here she was,
she had to be squeaky clean on the Disney Channel,all types of moral clausesand just intensity aroundbehavior, and,
once the camera stops rolling,she’s living another life;
she couldn’t really be herself.
She couldn’t be
a normal teenager.I definitely feltthe pressure increase when…the fame started to
creep into my life.
I started feeling pressured tolook a certain way, to…sing music that I feltpeople would like, rather than sing music
that I would like.There was more pressure
to succeed, you know?
Numbers and charts.And I was a perfectionist, and I really wanted to be
the best of the best.( music playing )Phil:
When you are carrying
a franchise,
there is a standard
that everybody expects
you to operate at. They were great to work with. Awful, awful.I think it causeda lot of, um, anxiety for her. Demi:
And it didn’t let up
at all, it just…
mounted more and more.All of a sudden,
she had to be
this role model, and I don’t
think she was ready for that.I think we started to notice,and, really,
it was the Jonas Brothers kind of, like,
waving a flag that Demi may be veeringoff the path.At that point,
you could just feel
that… things were
getting wobbly.It was almost like the wheels
were starting to fall off.
Prior to that, I think,
anything that was going on,
would’ve been chalked up to…she’s a teenage girl.That was, like,
the easy answer,
was just to say,
“Well, she’s a teenage girl and she’s going through stuff,and she’s being dramatic.”John:
She wasn’t this sweet
and lovely girl anymore,
and it was kind of like a “Hey,( bleep ) you.”
And, “I just want to be a kid
and do what everybody else does.
And, like, my friends in Texaswant to, like, drink and party,
so why shouldn’t I
drink and party?”
Demi had real anger issues.
Difficult, harder to be around.
No, no, no, just show me,
I have a photographic memory.Demi’s pulling anyone
that she could, like,
manipulate and change.Phil:
She was depressed,
she would sleep all the time.
I think she just–
it became obvious that
she was struggling with…herself.And I didn’t realize that it was
actually signalinga larger issue.Nick Jonas:
While we were on tour,
Joe and Demi’s relationship
had become really complicated.So I was playing the bridge.And it became really good,you know, between she and Ifor a while, and growing closer
than we’d ever been.
And I remember thinking
in my head, I felt, like,
a bit of pride about it, like… selfishly, maybe.
I was like, “I’m helping her back into,
you know, coming back to being the Demi
that we all know and love,
and she’s not gonna do anything
crazy, it’s gonna be fine.”
And then this episode happened.( music playing )Demi:
I was in Colombia.
I was on
the “Camp Rock 2” Tour.And I invited a bunch of
people to dinner,
my band,and my background dancers. I paid for all the alcohol.Somebody ended upgetting weed. I was on Adderall.And…we had trashed the hotel.The hotel was,
like, threatening us.
They went to some of the dancers
and asked what had happened.And I think they toldon me for using Adderall. Somebody told Kevin Jonas, Sr.,and… Phil.and my dad. I was very upset.I couldn’t believe
what had happened.
Now it was outthat I was on Adderall. The next day,I was in a lot of trouble.I remember… going to Kevin, Sr.
and saying,“Listen…I want to thank whoever
told on me becauseI know they were
just worried about me.
And, you know, I just really
want to know who told you.”
And I manipulated him
into telling me who it was. And he said it was Shorty.Shorty and I
had been really close
through “Camp Rock”
and “Camp Rock 2.”
So…when he said Shorty,I remember thinking… “I’m about to
beat this bitch up.”( music playing )John:
I remember I was up in
the front of the plane.
She had already
boarded the plane. John:
Demi walks up
onto the plane and
I heard some commotion. I just went up to her. – And it was like a blur.
– I turned around and Demi had punched her backup dancer
in the face. Everyone was freaking out. She walked right past me
without acknowledging me. I just remember
going and sitting down. Just this angry
look on her face. Texting my mom “I’m sorry.” Put her head on her pillow and shut out the world. And I slept the whole day. That was when
it dawned on me that this was probably a much bigger situation than just a kid
who wanted to party. I just came to a breaking point.( music playing )Phil:
The next 12 months
were extremely difficult.Demi:
I was 18 when I first
went into treatment.
Demi was diagnosed bipolar when she checked into treatment
the first time.When I got diagnosed
with bipolar disorder,
it just made sense.When I was younger,
I didn’t know why
I would stay up so late
writing and playing music.And then I learned about
episodes of mania.
And I realized that that’sprobably what it was;
I was manic.
In a way I knew thatit wasn’t my fault anymore. Something was actually off
with me. Phil:
She had such a glow to her
the first time I saw her when
she came out of treatment.
The glow started to fade
each day that passed. Demi:
I wasn’t working my program,
I wasn’t ready to get sober.I was sneaking it on planes,sneaking it in bathrooms,sneaking it throughout
the night.
Nobody knew. Phil:
This is an 18-year-old
who’s totallyout-maneuvering adults. Demi:I went on, like,
a bender of like
two months where
I was using daily.And… there was
one night where
I used a bunch of cokeand I popped a few Xanax bars, and I started to…
choke a little bit.And my heart started racing.And I remember thinking,“Oh, my God, I might be
overdosing right now.” I remember we were in New York,and she clearly
was on something.
And she was on air…promoting this new way of life. And I was like,
“You’re so full of it.”I wasn’t equipped to be able tohandle that situation.And so I got a list of
several recommendations of people that
specialize in this. And I ended up connecting
and speaking with Mike Bayer. Mike Bayer:
Demi was on a road to, like,
suicide.She’d have, like,
bags of pills,
and an eight-ball of coke.I was either craving drugs
or on drugs. She was nasty. I was not easy to work with. I was using while I had
a sober companion. And I went through about 20
different sober companions.It was really like she was
two different people.
Every day was like
going to war. Mike:
We were in Palm Springs,
and she locked
her bedroom door,
she’s just taken
a bunch of pills,
we kicked down the door,she gets taken to the hospital,the nurse is checking her in,
the bottle of pills is there, she grabs the pills, she then
downs all the other pills and
says, “You ( bleep ) bitch. If I just tried to kill myself,
why would you give me
access to pills?” Demi:
I didn’t feel anything,
I didn’t feel guilty,
I didn’t feel embarrassed.Mike:
Then she goes from there
to a psych ward.
None of that did anything.She still isn’t going to
get clean.
She’s so black and white. She really, one day,
would want to get well, the next day,
not want to get well. And when she didn’t
want to get well, she’d have to flip back–
it was just, for her, it was chaotic. It was completely exhausting,physically and emotionally.I would sneak out, get drugs… Manipulating. …I would fake my drugs tests with other people’s pee. Mike:
She didn’t care
what the consequences were.
A couple days sober
and then she’d use.
And I’d lie
straight to their faces. Mike:
She didn’t care
about her career.
And we couldn’t get
momentum on our side. Mike:
It was very difficult
to work off that
very small part of her
that did want to get well.It’s embarrassing to look back at the person that I was.The very last night
that I drank,
I was at a hotel,and I invited two random people.And, basically,
just drank with them.
I got really, really drunk,until it was time
to get on a flight.
And I was so drunk that
I threw up in the back
of the car serviceon the way to the airport
to perform on “American Idol.”
Ladies and gentlemen,
Demi Lovato. ( cheering and applause ) ♪ When your lips
are on my lips ♪ ♪ And our hearts beat as one ♪ Phil:
Here she is, she goes
to “American Idol”,
she’s hung-over, she has
total disregard for it.
It was a horrible feeling. I felt like that was
a moment in my career where I, I didn’t care. Phil:
Demi was clearly
in a bad place.
I just knew that
I needed to be high
to get through what I was
going through at that point.
I remember asking Mike,
“When is it timeto step away?”And Mike said to me,“When she stops trying.”At that moment,I was fully intending to… drop her.You hear about interventionsor families laying ultimatums
and saying, like, “You either change
or you’re out.”Change has to happen,now. Mike:
The most important thing
to Demi
is losing people,is losing people
that she cares about and that loves her. That’s the most
important thing to Demi.I had developed a plan
where I got
everybody on the team,
business manager, attorneys, agents, everybody, to say, “If Phil walks,
we walk.”This was the showdown
of all showdowns.
It wasn’t a matter of
if they were going to leave,
it was, “We are leaving. There’s no more
that we can do for you.” Mike:
I remember her crying,
“Well, what the ( bleep )
do I need to do?
What do I need to do?”– Phil:And Mike said…
– Mike:Give us your cell phone.And I think he said,
“Like, now.”And she picked up the plate.And she literally
was grabbing this thing and smashing it,
screaming crying, like– and the ugly cry. Phil:
And I said,
“That’s not good enough.”
Phil said,
“Put it in the water.” Phil:And so she dunked it in
the vase of water that was
on the table.
It’s wild. This was the gateway
to everything. This was… the wrong people,
it was drug dealers, it was– it was a lot of… the negative influences
in her life were coming through
the cell phone. I think that approach
worked for me because, it sounds silly,
but it was the beginning of the process of surrendering.At the end of the day,
it was my decision.
Meanwhile, she’s a judge
on “X-Factor,” She’s 19 years old, and she’s in her first year
of sobriety. Phil:
What nobody knows is that,
while she was a judge,
she’s living in
a sober apartment,
with roommates,
she is having to do chores,
she has no cell phone,she is completely
and totally…
submitted to
the process of recovery.
You really have to lean intothe people that are
trying to support you. Like my family, like Mike and Phil. You know, you really have to… surrender because that’s when
the change is gonna happen.( music playing )When you’re in the studio,and you’re recording…“a hit song,”there are times where
the energy in the room
– is just insane.
– Go! –♪ Lucky for you ♪
– Man: Whoo! All right.♪ I got all these
daddy issues ♪
♪ What can I do? ♪♪ I’m going crazy
when I’m with you ♪
♪ Forget all the therapy ♪♪ That I’ve been through ♪♪ Lucky for you ♪– When that beat kicks in,
– Man: Yeah. like, no matter what
you’re doing, you have to dance. ( laughter ) When can I sing? I’m ready to go. – Man: Here it comes.
– ( bleep ) yeah, you are. – Let’s do it.
– You know who else
is ready to go? – Let’s do it. ( laughs )
– Me. – You set her up for me, bro?
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. You standing or sitting, Demi? I think I’m gonna sit first. All right. All right, mic check? ( echoing ):
Mic check. ( sighs deeply ) – You ready?
– Yeah. ( music playing over speakers ) ♪ I’ve been thinking
’bout the future ♪ ♪ And I’ve been thinking
’bout the now ♪ ♪ I know we’re
gonna be together ♪ ♪ But I just don’t know how ♪ ♪ You know when we get close ♪ ♪ Can’t deny the tension
between us both ♪ ♪ And I don’t want to
pressure you ♪ ♪ But I think you need to
make a move ♪ ♪ I’ve been waiting ♪ ( distorted ):
♪ I’ve been waiting ♪
♪ And I keep waiting ♪ ( distorted ):
♪ And I keep waiting ♪
♪ Only forever ♪ ♪ Only forever ♪ ♪ Only forever ♪ ♪ Only forever ♪ ♪ Only forever ♪I’ve been really using
my emotions
and, basically, just
adding more soul into it.
I think it comes out
in my music today. – Whoo!
– Ooh! – That was crazy.
– Fire. That was a good one.
Two seconds.Oak is just incredible.This song’s ( bleep )
awesome, man! It’s so good. ( laughs ) We’re like… what, six for six now? – Oh, my God.
– So exciting. ♪ Only forever… ♪We have been putting inendless hours in the studio,and all of the songs
that we’ve done together
I’ve really been
excited about. ♪ Only forev… ♪ – Let’s try it.
♪ I’ll give you
one more chance ♪
♪ But it only lasts ♪♪ Only forever… ♪ – ( laughs )
– One more.♪ Who doesn’t leave me
on the shelf? ♪
She’s just gonna nail it
every time. Man:
I know.♪ But it only lasts ♪♪ Only forever… ♪♪ Only forever. ♪I mean, they’re all varying
degrees of perfection. – ( laughter )
– So… – Thanks.
– But I like the ending
of this one more. I like the beginning
of the one you did
previous to this one more. Okay, cool. So, I have a comp in mind, too, if we need to.
I mean, I– but we got it. We definitely got it. It sounds awesome, homie. As long as the vibrato
is consistent on that. I can see your vibrato waves. You have no idea
how uniform they are. – Oh, dope.
– Like, look at this ( bleep ),
you see it? It looks like a caterpillar,
look at that. Man:
It is a caterpillar! ( laughter ) Look at how ( bleep ) consistent
these waves are, right? And you can actually hear it.
Listen, man.♪ Ever…♪Like, you can hear that vibrato. I think it’s important
to have a vision.And I feel likehe’s really helped me
find my sound. – ( laughs )
– Thank you. You killed that
( bleep ), homie. – Thanks,
– Good Lord.( music playing )Texas!I’m so… tired. ( laughter ) So unamused with that comment. Demi, did you know that
you sleep with one eye open? – No, I don’t.
– Yes, you do. – No, I don’t.
– Yes, you do. I swear to God. Wow, that’s so weird. Who did you piss off that you
got to sleep with one eye open? ( laughter ) It’s the first time in awhile that we’ve all been
in Texas together. I think since, like,
the last Christmas, – that we spent here.
– Dianna: Yeah. Or, no, a funeral.( music playing )Dianna:
Which funeral was that? It was my mamaw, my mamaw.I used to call her “my world”
because she was just
the sweetest woman,
and she was funny. and sassy. I love you. – Hmm?
– I love you. – I love you, too.
– I love you more. – No, you don’t.
– Yes, I do. ( laughing ):
Yes, I do. ( sniffles ) What are the odds
that we’re all back here? – Yeah.
– On this day. Almost exactly a year later. ( crying ):
I miss her so much. ( crying ):
Mama! Sorry. And then it’s also
been a year since… Wilmer and I broke up.I’ve never loved anybody
like I loved Wilmer.
And, like, I still love Wilmer.( music playing )When I first met Wilmerhe was 29.I met him on January 11thof 2010.And it was at a PSA shootat his housefor the 2010census forms. Before 1980, Latinos weren’t even considered
a separate ethnic group on the census form. This is an opportunity for us to assert ourselves, to define ourselves.To be honest, I only did itbecause I heard it
was at his house and I thought
he was really cute. I didn’t really care about
the census forms.But when I met him and I laid
eyes on him for the first time,
I was in hair and makeup and he came and sat down
and I was like, “I love this man. And I have to have him.” But I was only 17. And so he was like,
“Get away from me.”After I had turned 18,we began dating.I think it was love
at first sight. And I don’t really
believe in that, but I believe that it happened.( music playing )We connected on a level thatI’ve never connected
with anybody before.
He… was just my rock,my everything.Producer:
Why do you think you broke up?
It had nothing to do with
falling out of love.We decided together thatwe’re just probably
better as friends.
I haven’t seen Wilmer
in over six months.
And when he showed up at
the Gay Pride party at Mike’s
my heart ached.It’s hard enough dealing
with a breakup…
but, you put it
in the public eye,
and it feels violating.I do have moments where…it’s late at night,
and I’m lonely, and I wonder if… I made the right decision.Because love is a gamble.I don’t know if I’ll lose him
for the rest of my life. Wilmer:
Is it this one? My arm looks so big. You’re flexing. Hey! ( laughs )
You’re so stupid. I get it. I get it, that’s all I’m saying. I think my heart’s
always with Wilmer. I think it… was with Wilmer,
I think that it is with Wilmer, and I think that it will be. ‘Cause you don’t share six years
with somebody and not… give them
a piece of your heart.And vice versa.Woman:
Like, I’m pretty sure that I’m not gonna meet anybody
that compares to him, but… I’m trying to keep an open heart
and an open mind when it comes to that. Mike:
I love Demi and Wilmer
But I’ve seen Demi grow a lot as a person in the last year. Demi:
The sparks never faded.
But there are issues that
I haven’t conquered yetthat I know I won’t conquer
if I’m relying on somebody else
to take care of the loneliness. Where there is a will,
there’s a way, yeah. No, where there’s a… Both:
Wilmer, there’s a way.I just wasn’t readyand I– there was so much
of my life that I hadn’t explored yet.( music playing )I wanted a house now because I’m on my own, and I’m independent now. This is the first time Demi’s
ever really been on her own in her life.It also falls at a time,as she’s turning 25,where she’s trying to
figure out who she is.
And so I think that
she’s taking the time
to put that into her artin probably the most meaningful
way she’s ever done.I’m growing up by myself,and… to have my own place, designed the way
that I want it to look,with my dog.( babbling )I wanted to know what
it’s like to be on my own.
And this is where I finally
feel like I can be…
grown up. ♪ Standing on the front lines ♪ ♪ Staring at the sunrise ♪ ♪ Over the hill ♪ ♪ Waiting for the kill ♪♪ Sweet anticipation ♪♪ Every conversation ♪♪ Tears in her eyes ♪♪ From holding too tight ♪♪ Wait until the demons come ♪♪ Wait for us to see them run ♪♪ In our direction ♪♪ Now they’re staring at us
through the trees ♪
♪ Got us falling to our knees ♪♪ To teach us a lesson ♪ ♪ Darling, I have been afraid ♪ ♪ I could only call your name ♪ ♪ Thank the heavens
that you stayed ♪♪ Ooh ♪♪ But if I’m telling you
the truth ♪
♪ When I cut the tether loose ♪ ♪ It was me ♪ ♪ Saving you… ♪I haven’t relapsedin drugs and alcohol. That’s something that
I’m very proud of.I’m coming up on five
and a half years of sobriety,
and that’s something that’s
been difficult at times,
but one thing that
I haven’t fully conquered is my eating disorder. Phil:
You having trouble right now? What’s going on? It’s so weird to talk
about this on camera. I… relapsed with…
throwing up. Binging and purging. When? A couple nights ago.The less I have to
think about food,
the easier it is
for me to go abouthaving a normal life.And I don’t want to
let anybody down.
So when I do have moments
where I slip up… I feel very ashamed.What started the relapsewas missing Wilmer. This is the longest you’ve gone
without being in a relationship. You’re not the only one
to have been through a six-year relationship,
and break up, and question it, and then not know
how to be alone. Well, like,
that’s one of the reasons why we broke up, was ’cause I’ve never
been alone.When I was in a relationship
with Wilmer,
I went three years
without purging. And when we broke up, that’s one of
the first things I did. And when I… feel lonely… like, my heart feels hungry. Phil:
Right. And then I end up binging. And I don’t know
how to figure out… how to be alone. What do you think came first
for you in terms of chasing
the high? Was it the drugs and alcohol
or was it the food? The food came first.When I was about
eight years old
and my little sister was born,a lot of the attention
was taken off of me
and onto my little sister.I had started working
at that time,
so I was under a lot of stress.So I would bake cookies
for my family and I would eat all of them, and
nobody would have any to eat.That was my first memory
of food
being… that medicine for me.When I was 12,I was bullied.I… developed a social anxiety where I didn’t trust
other girls my age.Then, one day, this girl
who was popular
started saying,
“Demi should kill herself.
She should slit her wrists.”And it resulted in
a suicide petition
that got passed around. And she had other
classmates sign it. I mean, there was this
core group of girls who were, honestly, in my eyes,
pure ( bleep ) evil. Demi:
And, when I asked them why,
nobody could give me
a specific reason
why they were treating me
the way they were.I had no friends,I was alone.So I went off of
what they were calling me, which was a whore and being fat.I called my mom on my cell
phone and I said, “I’m done,
I can’t do this anymore,
pick me up.
She picked me up from school and that’s when my eating
disorder developed.One day,I found a copy of her diary.Demi had drawn a picture of
what she perceived herself
to look like. “Heavy.” And then she drew a picture
on the next page, and said, “This is what
I need to look liketo be…a star.” This was, like,
a collage that I made when I was younger. And it’s actually kind of sad
for me because a lot of the people in here
are underweight and… I wanted to be so much… I wanted to be like them.That was kind of the chic look
back then.
Yeah, I’ve got Amy Winehouse
in there that I looked up to and I wanted to be so badly.I wanted to be as thin as her,
I wanted to sing like her,
I wanted to be just like her.The collages on her wall,
and the pictures,
and the models,this isn’t what you need toaspire to be like,
this is not healthy.
I never thought to say
those things to her because I didn’t know myself.My desire for perfection,I think I’ve always
been that way.But I felt I had to be thinto be beautiful,
and successful,
and that this is what you
need to look like
in order to be perfect.I may have passed that
along to my kids,that wanting everything
to be perfect,
and need to bethin and beautiful
to be successful. Demi:
Food is still the biggest
challenge in my life
and it controls… I don’t want to give it
the power to say that it controls my every thought,but… it’s something that
I’m constantly thinking about.
Body image,
what I’m gonna eat next,
what I wish I could be eating,what I wish I didn’t eat. You know, it’s just constant. It’s exhausting.Like, I get envious towardspeople that don’t struggle
with an eating disorder
just because I feel likemy life would be so much easier.Everybody has their own path
in recovery.
For me, it’s about going to
therapy, working my program
and having an honest
relationship with myself
and the other people around me.I had come across Jay Glazer
and Unbreakable Gym.And I felt like it would be
great for her.
Because Demi had just broken up
with Wilmerand she didn’t have
a lot of friendships,
she didn’t have a community.The workout before that
was super tough. – Yeah.
– You hear a girl crying,
it’s me. ( laughs )
Okay.The gym really helps.And I know that I…would be in a very dark place
without it. When you’re getting one,
I’m coming right back. – Come on. Nice, that’s it.
– ( grunting ) Good, good, good.
Where’s your kick? There it is. Demi:
You know it’s Monday when
you get punched in the face
by Randy Couture.Randy Couture? Only, like, MMA legend.( music playing )Mike:
At the time she loved
And I was really hoping
that she would
fall in love with jiu-jitsu. Insist. Mike:
It would give her some pride
in having her own thing.
It’s empowering. And I watch her light up. Mike:
It’s a physical chess game.
It makes her think. Demi:
Any time I’m able to
take my mind off of…any of my addictions, um, it’s very beneficial to me.Because you’re constantly
thinking about…
what the next move is.The technique,the strategy,And also,
there’s a reward systemthat takes many, many, many
years to get through.
Excellent. Back up. In jiu-jitsu, we start
with a white belt.Every time you get a promotion,
it’s a stripe.
We do four stripes on each belt, and then we move
to the next belt.One goal that I haven’t reached
is a black belt.
Being able to work towards thatis something that
I’m passionate about.
And I hope to God to see her
into her 30s and to… ( voice breaking ):
…put a black belt
around her waist one day. Good job. ( exhales ) – Get a drink.
– Okay.Working out is a form
of meditation to me
because I’m not focused on
anything in my head.
It can transport you toa totally different place.( music playing )I’m on a journey to discoverwhat it’s like to be
free of all demons.
Her first stripe on a belt. Demi, before,
you couldn’t talk about weight.We literally couldn’t use
the term “working out.”
And… now…she loves it.I, like, don’t want to know what it’s like to get really
punched in the face by… By Randy Couture?
Man, it’s like playing
basketball with Michael Jordan. ( static ) All of my bags. And now my vanity. Feeling my extensions. Kelsey Kershner:
Hey, Demitria, can you come here
and approve these TV spots? Demi:
Yup. It was an exhausting night
as an assistant. – It was mid-summer.
– ( woman chuckles ) Producer:
Which night was this, though,
what are we describing here? Uh, it was Anaheim.
( chuckles ) Um… there were four suitors
in the crowd. ( laughter ) All in separate places
throughout the crowd. Which I strategically placed. Again, hard assistant work.
( laughs ) They all wanted to visit her
in the dressing room. All at different times,
obviously, so we had to,
you know, coordinate, make sure some came
before the show, some came after the show. ( laughing ):
So they didn’t
run into each other. Luckily, all went well. I feel like it wasn’t four,
I feel like it was only two. It was… it was N, and then L,
but they had guests, and then there was… Was there an O? – No.
– No, it wasn’t that night. ( laughter ) My theory is, you can’t win
if you don’t play the game. ( laughter ) ( static ) I matched with somebody
on Raya just now. You did?
Can I see? I am on the dating app
with both guys and girls. I am open to human connection. So whether that’s through
a male or a female, it doesn’t matter to me. Avo Yermagyan:
She is so cute. Mm-hmm. Liking somebody and then… like, them texting you and… you waiting for their text back, and them liking your picture
on Instagram, um, all these, like, feels– and first dates, oh, my God. I need looks for this weekend. You do? Date night? How many? Is there a story?
Is there a theme? I’m going to a soccer game. Jumpsuit, dress…? Jumpsuit. Cleavage? Always. First dates are…
so nerve-racking. I didn’t have that before. I mean, not in so long, and… the butterflies of that, the sweat on my hands, the ( bleep ) sweaty palms, like, all that is fun,
it’s so much fun. This is like
a close-the-deal dress, do you want to close the deal? – Hell yeah,
I want to close the deal.
– Okay. ‘Cause you’re in
escrow right now. ( laughs ) I thought you said,
“You’re an escort.” No.
( laughs ) Don’t you think? Should we try a new deal? – No, we don’t need to do that.
– Yeah, no, okay. And, I think, don’t tape it down because, like,
feeling that danger, like, is sexier to do. Okay, cool. And then… – Do I let the nipples show?
– Let the nipples show. – Really?
– Yeah. Yeah. It’s, like, really see-through. It’s the female bulge. It’s like letting
the guy know who’s boss. – I don’t know if I can do that.
– Do it. When I’m comfortable
in my own skin, I feel confident. And when I feel confident, I feel sexy.And when I feel sexy…watch out. ♪ Baby, be my ♪♪ New addiction ♪♪ Intoxicate me gently ♪ ♪ With your loving ♪ ♪ You ♪♪ Got me so hot ♪♪ Pull me closer into you ♪♪ And watch our bodies
intertwine ♪ You don’t know this Demi. Single Demi is fun. She’s a single girl,
if she wants to go out to a cluband dance, so be it.♪ Got me dreaming ’bout that ♪♪ Sexy, dirty love ♪( distorted voice ):
♪ Sexy, sexy, yeah ♪
♪ Sexy, dirty love ♪And we definitely
talk about boys a lot, we’re both single. Obviously, everyone
wants to date her. She has a lot of suitors. It’s fun to hear her when she shares her stories. He’s so ( bleep ) hot. – Avo: Really?
– Yes. Have you talked to him since? No, I was waiting
for him to text me. If it happens, um,
I’m gonna be your best man. ( laughs ) Did you make it up
to his suite? Yeah. ( laughs ) No, I did not. There’s like a certain…
stigma around a woman having casual sex. And, for me,
I just feel like it’s my body
and it’s my choice,and it’s exciting, and it’s
a connection with somebody.
And it’s fun. ♪ You ♪♪ Got me so hot ♪♪ Pull me closer into you ♪♪ And watch our bodies
intertwine ♪
♪ I feel so alive ♪ ♪ You’re the one
I’m thinking of ♪ ♪ Got me dreaming ’bout that ♪♪ Sexy, dirty love ♪Guess there’s not really
any common theme with the people that I’ve dated. ( distorted voice ):
♪ Sexy, sexy, yeah ♪
I do like athletes.There’s something
really sexy about
somebody putting in all of
their physical strength
into their passion. ( distorted voice ):
♪ Sexy, sexy, yeah ♪
( distorted ):
♪ Dirty love. ♪
I know, I know, I…
( laughs ) I was like,
“There’s no common theme,” but really
it’s totally athletes. ( water running ) So we’ll do the ends of my hair, like, more on
the straighter side. Hairdresser:
Straight, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just straighten.
I don’t go wavy. Demi:
Yay, he texted. – ( chuckles )
– Yay! Four hours and two minutes.
( laughs ) What’d he say? Well, I can’t check it,
I’ve got foil on my ( bleep ) Anticipation. The anticipation is killing me. Woman:
Was it you who texted
or he had texted? It was me. Oh, sounds desperate. It’s good you have foil
on your hands right now. No, for sure.
I’m still gonna wait. I’m not gonna text right away. ( laughter ) Well… ( laughs )
I know. It’s a… sticky situation. If you text right away and you make yourself seem
available all the time, then he’s not gonna be
interested anymore. Like, not as interested. He…
( stammers ) It’s a thing. Phil, you’re married, you don’t
have to deal with this, you don’t get it. Producer:
What are some of the turn-offs? I don’t like douchebags. ( robotic voice ):
♪ Stop playing games ♪
( distorting ):
♪ Games, games, games,
games, games ♪
And I have dated some
in this single era. ♪ Text on “read” ♪ ♪ And it ain’t no accident ♪ ♪ Boy, I ain’t gonna ask again ♪ ♪ Now you got me in my head ♪ ♪ Waiting by the phone
at night ♪ ♪ That… that I don’t do ♪ ♪ And I just can’t explain
what’s happening ♪ ♪ Sending all these messages ♪♪ Alone at night ♪♪ On Patron at night, ah ♪I don’t like guys
that play games. Like, life is too short
for games. ♪ Two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, oh. ♪ Hold on, one more time. ♪ Two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ ♪ Two can play, yeah, oh, oh ♪ I’m kind of
a confrontational person. so if there’s something up,
I want to be like, I want to figure out, like… are we– what’s going on?
What’s happening here? ♪ Two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ ♪ Two can play, yeah,
play these games ♪First of all,he was supposed to come
to my concert in Dallas… – He bailed.
– …and he bailed. Yeah, yeah. And I was, like,
pissed off about that. Maybe it was just like,
I didn’t text him, I was waiting for him
to text me, we were playing games, like, you know what? Text the ( bleep ) boy. I’m giving him the benefit
of the doubt. ♪ Honey, I don’t need
no friends ♪ And I was like,
“Okay, well, I’m, you know, I have a free weekend, like, I’m thinking of
coming to Dallas. Like, do you have any
free weekends available?” He was like, “Yeah,
I’m open that weekend, too.” I was like,
“Dope, let’s hang out.” ♪ Alone at night ♪ ♪ On Patron at night ♪ ♪ Ah ♪ We decide to go into the club. He was like, “Yeah,
come to my table. And I was like, “Okay,
like, that’s pretty cool,” – ’cause I had my own
separate table…
– Yeah, so far, so good.He was like, “Yeah, like,
have your friends
come to the table.”
And I was like, “Okay, cool.”♪ Careful when you
play these games ♪ Right when we got there,
right as I was standing there, I was next to him.
He did a line of coke, – the bottle service
girl comes up,
– No. – and he goes…
like this to her boobs.
– ( gasps ) – Girl.
– Bye. Are you ( bleep ) kidding me? And then he starts pouring vodka down other girl’s throats. ♪ You might find out
the hard way ♪ ♪ That two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ ♪ Two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ I wanted to tell him
straight to his face that I’m a ( bleep ) catch, and that he needed to
treat me like a queen.♪ Winning, winning, winning ♪♪ And I’m tired of
keeping score ♪ I was half-joking, but, like, half-serious, like,
“Go ( bleep ) yourself.” He asked why and I said, “Well, these are
the reasons why, these are the things
that you did, right in front of me, and I’m not going to be
disrespected like that.” And he ended up sending
a bunch of text messages, apologizing, wanting to talk. ♪ Maybe I can be yours ♪He texted me, “You good?”And I texted back,
“New phone, who dis?” Oh, I saw your–
did you see on Instagram? That’s my ( bleep ) girl.♪ Games ♪♪ Come on now,
say what you want ♪
– It’s Kelsey I’m pretty sure.
– Oh. She’s… ( laughing ) ♪ Might find out the hard way ♪ ♪ That two can play, yeah,
two can play, yeah ♪ ♪ Two can play, yeah,
whoa, oh… ♪ I think that’s the one. Okay, I love it. Yeah, that one’s really good.Emo Night is a throwback event
in L.A. once a month
that brings together fans
of the emo scene
to relive the past.( music playing )I try to go as often as I can.It’s so much fun.Emo Night, part two, the sequel! Demi:
Looking back on my past,
I see just how influentialthis music was on my lifeand my own musical journey
early on.
Morgan Freed:
Hey, let’s give it up for
( bleep ) Todd from 303. ( cheering and applause ) I want to introduce you guys
to somebody very, very, very,
very, very, special to me, Demi Lovato. Tell them what the ( bleep )
Emo Night is about.( music playing )( all singing along ):
♪ Whoa, I never meant to brag ♪ ♪ But I got him
where I want him now ♪ ♪ Whoa, it was never
my intention to brag ♪ ♪ To steal it all away
from you now ♪ ♪ But, God,
does it feel so good ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I got him
where I want him now ♪ ♪ And if you could,
then you know you would ♪ ♪ ‘Cause, God,
it just feels so ♪ ♪ It just feels so good ♪ ♪ Second chances they don’t ever
matter, people never change ♪ – ( music stops )
– ♪ Once a whore, you’re nothing
more, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ That’ll never change. ♪ Oh, ( bleep ).I went to, like, slide it down,
and then slide it back up
so everyone would sing it,– and then it stopped.
– Oh, is that what happened? Yes, and I was like…
“Oh, ( bleep ).” ♪ And about forgiveness,
we’re both supposed
to have exchanged ♪ ♪ I’m sorry honey, but I passed
out, now look this way ♪ Matthew:
I thought someone hit, like,
the power cord or, like, the audience
or whatever. We’re gonna go with that. Matthew:
( laughs ) I don’t want to be on record. Wait! We’re gonna ( bleep )
rock this ( bleep )! ♪ Whoa, well, I never
meant to brag ♪ ♪ But I got him
where I want him now ♪ ♪ Whoa, it was never
my intention to brag ♪ ♪ To steal it all away
from you now ♪ ♪ But, God,
does it feel so good ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I’ve gotten
what I wanted now ♪ ♪ And if you could,
then you know you would ♪ ♪ ‘Cause, God,
it just feels so… ♪ Woman:
Yes, queen! ♪ It just feels so good. ♪ ( music playing over speakers ) ( bleep ) yeah! ( clapping ) Yay! I’m glad we just recorded that. – I know, me, too.
– ( laughs ) – Man: Yeah, check it out
for us.
– Yeah, right? So I can stay until–
for another hour and a half, what do you want to do? Let’s definitely get that
clean out of the way. – Yeah.
– Let me pull it up. Man:
Sometimes you would take, like, about a day or so
to work on vocals. Yeah. Like, it’s crazy that– – what was that, like,
an hour or so?
– I know, right? – Well, you’re so fast.
– ( laughs ) I was being so “meticulate…” – “Meticulous”?
– “Meticulous”? Home-schooled. – ( laughter )
– Oh, ( bleep ). She’s very witty,
which people might not noticebecause I feel like
you can’t fully show
your personality
when you have to do
a press tour or
something like that.
Look at me on the toilet. That’s the cutest ( bleep )
I’ve ever seen… literally. So, she’s pretty hilarious, and she cracks ridiculous jokes. Want to see my jab? ( laughing ) Let’s see the whale call. ( imitates whale call ) ( laughter )She has a very interesting
sense of humor.
I’m always on my toes.– Ya!
– Oh, my God! See? She gets me every… Just trying to drive, but… Oh, well. It’s a dam. Dam. ( chuckles )
Dam! – Dam!
– Dam, son! ( laughs )
I just got it! She’s lovable. ( lip syncing
to child’s voice ):
I’ll take a nap! ( lip syncing to man’s voice):
You want to take a nap? I’ll take a nap here. Okay, take a nap
right there then. Good night! Or super inappropriate. Marissa said ( bleep ).She’s always been
witty and funny.
Sometimes I’m like,
“What did you just say?” Somebody commented at me. And I– calling me,
like, a coke head, and I go, “I prefer the term
‘former crack whore.'” ( laughter ) Yeah, just little
moments like that, she doesn’t give a ( bleep ). Like, she will say anything
that’s on her mind. You are very annoying. Because a lot of people
hold back. How’s that? – How’s that?
– Well, you are. – You can be a bit
of an ( bleep ).
– I know. – How’s that?
– I’m used to it. ( cheers and applause ) Can you deal with that? She definitely has… a unique personality.I know that you all…love Nick Jonas. ( audience laughing ) But I actually have a bigger ( bleep ) than he does. ( cheering ) Don’t ( bleep ) with me. Cue the sunglasses
and the joint. ( man laughs ) ( traffic noises ) Phil:
So fill us in. Open up your mind, like,
what are your thoughts? Where’s your head at? My thoughts are it’s always been
about heartbreak or struggles. And, when they think of
my music, they think it’s heavy. And I just want to,
like, break that mold. “Sorry, Not Sorry” is lighter, and I think that’s a part of me
nobody’s seen before. I just want you
to feel supported to make the decision
that you feel best about. I feel like coming out
with a song that’s fun that I’m passionate about. It just feels right to me.( music playing )I follow my gut.My gut told me to choose
“Sorry, Not Sorry”
as my first single, and I did.And I believed in it
from day one
when other people thought
that it shouldn’t be
the first single.But I knew that it should.Ah! It is go time. Gonna perform “Sorry, Not Sorry”
live for the first time ever. And I’m so excited. ( audience cheering ) Tonight is a very
big night for me. ( cheering ) Because I released
a song called… Audience:
“Sorry, Not Sorry”! What if we do another tour
’cause it was so much fun?How we did on
the “Cool for the Summer” Tour,
we went to, like, pool parties.And we get massive houses
in different cities.
Do the House Party Tour.
I love it.
Do the House Party Tour.
♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪ ♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪ We woke up in, in Boston,and then we went to Alabamafor, like, an hour and a half. Hey, Birmingham,
what up, girl? Here in Nashville, um,kind of, like, flying by
the seat of our pants,
but it’s been amazing.I said to them, “Gosh, she sounds
like Aretha Franklin.” Oh, my God, thank you! Matthew:
Billy Ray Cyrus
is here tonight,
like, you don’t even know
who’s gonna be there tomorrow.
Yo! ( doorbell rings ) Ludacris:
Gives me great pleasure
to be sorry that I’m not sorry – ( cheering )
– to introduce my great friend. My friend, your friend,
Miss Demi Lovato! Audience:
Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! Demi! You guys ready to party? ( cheering ) If you know the words,
please help me sing along! ( music playing ) ♪ Now I’m out here
looking like revenge ♪ ♪ Feelin’ like a ten ♪ ♪ The best I ever been ♪♪ And, yeah, I know
how bad it must hurt ♪
♪ To see me like this ♪ ♪ But it gets worse ♪ ( distorted ):
♪ Wait a minute ♪
♪ Now payback is a bad bitch ♪ ♪ And, baby, I’m the baddest ♪♪ I’m playing with a savage ♪♪ Can’t have this,
can’t have this ♪♪ Ah ♪♪ And it’d be nice of me ♪♪ To take it easy on ya ♪ ♪ But nah ♪ ♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪ ♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪♪ Being so bad
got me feelin’ so good ♪
Bad bitch.Baby, I’m…♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪♪ I’m not sorry ♪Wait, what’s ( bleep ) dope is getting police escorted
in my hometown. Woman:
Yeah. Should I go for the high note
or play it safe? I think you go
for the win tonight. ♪ Better walk,
better walk that walk, baby ♪ ♪ If you talk,
if you talk that talk, baby ♪ ♪ Better walk,
better walk that walk, baby ♪ ♪ Oh! ♪ ♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪ ♪ Baby, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ I’m not sorry ♪ ♪ Being so bad
got me feelin’ so good ♪ ♪ Showing you up
like I knew that I would ♪ The benefit that I have
over some artistsis my connection with my fans.And I thought, “What better way
to get my fans involved
and to have
intimate performances
than to throw
the House Party Tour?”
Things like thatcan turn into awesome memories. ( audience cheering )And that’s what it’s all about.Like, I wouldn’t have
the career
that I have today,
I wouldn’t be alive today without my fans.And I want them to be involvedin any way they canbecause it just means
so much to me.( music playing )♪ Oh, no, here we go again ♪ ♪ Fighting over what I said ♪ ♪ I’m sorry ♪ ♪ Yeah, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ Bad at love, no,
I’m not good at this ♪ ♪ But I can’t say I’m innocent ♪ ♪ Not hardly ♪ ♪ But I’m sorry ♪ ♪ And all my friends,
they know and it’s true ♪ ♪ I don’t know who I am
without you ♪ ♪ I got it bad, baby ♪ ♪ Got it bad ♪ ♪ Oh, tell me you love me ♪ ♪ I need someone ♪ ♪ On days like this, I do ♪ ♪ On days like this ♪ ♪ Oh, tell me you love me ♪ ♪ I need someone ♪ ♪ On days like this, I do ♪ ♪ On days like this ♪ ♪ Oh, can you hear
my heart say ♪ ( singers vocalizing ) ♪ No, you ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody ♪ ♪ You ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody ♪ ♪ My heart’s like ♪ ( singers vocalizing ) ♪ No, you ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody ♪ ♪ You ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody ♪ ♪ Everything I need ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Is standing in front of me ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ I know that
we will be all right ♪ ♪ All right, yeah ♪ ♪ Through the ups and downs ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Baby, I’ma stick around ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ I promise we will be
all right ♪ ♪ Oh, tell me you love me ♪ ♪ I need someone ♪ ♪ On days like this, I do ♪ ♪ On days like this ♪ ♪ Oh, tell me you love me ♪♪ I need someone ♪♪ On days like this, I do ♪♪ On days like this ♪♪ Oh, can you hear
my heart say ♪ ( singers vocalizing ) ♪ Hear my heart say ♪ ♪ Hear my heart say ♪ ♪ You ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody ♪ ♪ You ain’t nobody
’til you got somebody… ♪When I look back at my life,I feel like,
if I didn’t have music, I don’t know what I would have.I have my friends
and my family,
but music gave me a purpose
when I was bullied in school,it gave me the motivation
to keep going,
and proved to everyone
that didn’t believe in me
that I was gonna be
something someday.
I look back
and I look at someone who slept 18 hours a day,used drugs every day.And then you see someone
today who’s
inspired to make better music,to talk about her own story,to help other people,and to make the world
a better place.
And that’s a miracle. She has lived
through a lot of stuff,and she tries to put
that stuff into her art
because she’s so authentic,
and that’s why people love her.
She doesn’t come in and go,
“Well, I need a hit.”She comes in with
a passion for,
“This is how
I’m feeling right now
and this is how the people that I know listen to my music
are feeling.”There’s other great singers
out there,
but, like, Demi’s voice
is Demi’s voice,
and Demi’s attitude
is Demi’s attitude. ♪ Everything I need ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Is standing right
in front of me ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ I know that
we will be all right ♪ ♪ All right, yeah. ♪ ( cheering and applause ) Thank you.I know what music
can get you through.
I know what music can… do emotionally for somebody because I’ve experienced
it myself.And I wanted to create that
for other people.
There’s nothing more beautiful
than being able to
connect with people
through music,
in my eyes. ♪ Stone cold, stone cold ♪ ♪ You see me standing ♪ ♪ But I’m dying on the floor ♪ ♪ Stone cold ♪ ♪ Stone cold ♪ ♪ Maybe if I don’t cry ♪ ♪ I won’t feel anymore ♪ ♪ Stone cold ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ ♪ God knows I ♪ ♪ Tried to feel ♪ ♪ Happy for you ♪ ♪ Know that ♪ ♪ I am ♪ ♪ Even if ♪ ♪ I can’t understand ♪ ♪ I’ll take the pain ♪ ( harmonizing with track ):
♪ Give me the truth ♪ ♪ Me and my ♪ ♪ Heart ♪ ♪ We’ll make it ♪ ♪ Through ♪ ♪ If ♪ ♪ Happy is her… ♪ ♪ I’m happy for you ♪ ( girls laughing ) ♪ Stone cold ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ ♪ God knows I tried to feel ♪ ♪ Happy for you ♪ ♪ Know that I am ♪ ♪ Even if ♪ ♪ I ♪ ♪ Can’t understand ♪ ♪ I’ll take the pain ♪ ♪ Give me the truth ♪ ♪ Me and my heart ♪ ♪ We’ll make it through ♪ ♪ ( intercut ):
If happy is her ♪ ♪ I’m happy ♪ ♪ For you ♪ Demi:
♪ Don’t wanna be stone cold ♪
♪ Stone ♪♪ I wish I could mean this ♪♪ But here’s my good-bye ♪♪ Oh, I’m happy for you ♪♪ Know that I am ♪♪ Even if I ♪♪ Can’t understand ♪♪ If happy is her ♪♪ If happy is ♪♪ Her… ♪♪ I’m happy for you. ♪( song ends )


  • Reply chew bacc January 11, 2020 at 3:04 am

    All these "fans" want to be just like her, she deceived everyone she has ever loved.. even her fans , yet gets treated like royalty… I am no longer a fan of hers because she is a manipulator, and I I am too smart to believe in her lies anymore.. I'm disappointed.. she is a a bad role model

  • Reply ISABELLA GOMEZ January 11, 2020 at 3:19 am

    This was madd so long ago and im sick and crying of proud as a young individual of the powerful woman that has been here and will stay and i dont know she will see this but i just want to say thank you for showing us what a powerful soul looks like and through the ups and downs you have still been there i am so proud of you i wish you the happiest and i love you so much you dont even know ahhh crying while being sick is not a great combination

  • Reply Autumn Giannette January 12, 2020 at 12:12 am

    It’s really sad how after this was released she overdosed but I guess nobody’s perfect and we all have flaws so I guess what I really want to say is yes I agree with A couple people who have commented on this video and who commented on Demi And her health and I just want to say that yes everyone has mistakes and everyone does things that litter in life they might regret. But I am glad that Danny made this documentary so that we all can rewatch it as much as we want and the first time I watch this I was watching it with my boyfriend and I was actually excited for this documentary to come out and here it is and and her health and I just want to say that yes everyone has mistakes and everyone does things that later in life they might regret. But I am glad that Demi made this documentary so that we all can rewatch it as much as we want and the first time I watch this I was watching it with my boyfriend and I was actually excited for this documentary to come out and here it is and Again I’m glad I get to watch it multiple times because I don’t think I would ever get tired of this documentary Demi is so real

  • Reply Marcii Chantell January 12, 2020 at 12:34 am

    Demi Lovato I love you so much🙂🙂😘 and I will always love you 😘😘😘😘… this was soooo good 🙂💯💯💯💯

  • Reply Abril Sanchez January 12, 2020 at 6:24 am

    Love u Demi

  • Reply Aaris Howton January 12, 2020 at 8:59 am

    This section at 55-ish is causing BIG gay vibes. Ugh… time to get my tinder activity up again lol

  • Reply Dvora Schreiber January 12, 2020 at 3:49 pm

    I love u Demi I look up to u somuch

  • Reply Ayya Kanan January 13, 2020 at 3:36 am

    How is this sad? It’s not even sad but I do feel how genuine she is.

  • Reply Billy Burleson January 13, 2020 at 10:36 am

    Pretty good.. She can sing… She almost died… Thx God she still with us… Demi is real and hella beautiful 😏🌹

  • Reply Billy Burleson January 13, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    Beautiful sexy woman here… She's 100 % honest.. 😏🌹🎵✌😊

  • Reply Billy Burleson January 13, 2020 at 1:05 pm

    Btw the title of this documentary should be the title of her new album… Just saying… 🎵🎵

  • Reply Carly Pena January 13, 2020 at 1:43 pm

    I've looked up to Demi since I was 14 and I'll be 26 next month. Her honesty and rawness is something I've loved about her as I got older. I am expecting a little girl on May 31st and I plan to play demi's music for her and pass it down to my daughter. Thank you Demi for being real and honest and of course making awesome fucking music! ❤😘

  • Reply Kate. January 13, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    Does anyone knows why nick and demi do not speak anymore?

  • Reply Kayla Burse January 13, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    Demi is so sexy, I don't get how she ever had low self esteem

  • Reply Skye McKissack January 13, 2020 at 9:12 pm

    Only me who has a terrible day at school and is now sitting at 21;12 on a Monday night with a bowl of ice cream and chocolate minders ?

  • Reply Hanita Turner-McLachlan January 14, 2020 at 12:19 am

    I think she's now true to herself and has pride i love her music.

  • Reply Pradeep Thapa January 14, 2020 at 3:49 am

    demi i think you are a great singer who has gone through a lot of hardships. P.S. i love you as a huge fan

  • Reply DeadBunny69 January 14, 2020 at 10:23 pm

    You've learned nothing. You're a liar.

  • Reply Divine Jacob January 14, 2020 at 11:00 pm

    I love you Demi ❤️😘

  • Reply Divine Jacob January 15, 2020 at 12:30 am

    Can we please get this to a 100 millions views

  • Reply crystal E January 15, 2020 at 1:36 am

    I really hope Demi gets better this time but I doubt it.

  • Reply Lis inha January 15, 2020 at 7:30 am

    Why can I relate so much with her? I'm crying

  • Reply Steph Sabol January 15, 2020 at 6:01 pm

    I just found this! I have loved Demi since she sang Skyscraper at the Do Something Awards. She’s an amazing person I love that her singing voice expands to her human voice. I just started doing daily Vlogs (around 5 minutes a day) about my struggles with bipolar type one. I’ve had four major manic episodes the last one lasting a year. My hope and goal is to create a community where we can all share our own stories and not feel so alone. But I basically talk about the things that happened to me how I felt and how I’m dealing with it.

  • Reply Alison Taylor January 15, 2020 at 9:23 pm

    just cried for an hour straight

  • Reply Secure For sure January 15, 2020 at 11:30 pm

    You didn't lose any fans. Look at you now. You are a role model and you should be proud of that.

  • Reply Zara Akhtar January 16, 2020 at 2:25 am

    Such a powerful documentary ❤️

  • Reply Kaitlyn January 16, 2020 at 2:46 am

    I feel like this is all a lie after seeing her 2019 interview? 🙁

  • Reply Christina B January 16, 2020 at 6:37 am

    I'm surprised they dont have some kind if demi plaque or recognition here in dallas (grand prarire) where shes from. Her or selena Gomez.

  • Reply Luke Rey January 16, 2020 at 7:52 am

    Beutifull Demi💪🙏

  • Reply SHIRA SHIR January 16, 2020 at 9:19 am

    Wow girl, wow! ❤

  • Reply Teresia Nelumbu January 16, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    A perfect example of 'LIFE IS NOT EASY EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE LOADS OF MONEY' We love you Demi❤

  • Reply Hennita Eneliko January 16, 2020 at 3:31 pm

    In 2020 praying only happiness and the best for her because she truly deserves it 🖤♥️🖤

  • Reply KeancyLiz Foundation January 17, 2020 at 1:33 am

    Amazing!! Keep it up, music is love

  • Reply Emma Gerety January 17, 2020 at 2:47 am

    Omg I forgot about as the bell rings. I remember that episode too🙀

  • Reply Naomi peach02 January 17, 2020 at 7:27 am

    Demi I never thought believe what you went through I was huge fan when you did camp rock with the jonas brothers. I am so inspired how much you grew into beautiful strong women. ♡ family bully weight size drinks drugs young age start working in crazy life be role model. Girl let me say Amen you survive it fight it. God bless you demi be you love paramore song u did. Now I wanna share my story what I went through. Know u aren't only one I went through bully a lot. I'm here for you 🙂 I love you

  • Reply Im Not Afraid Of You, Bitch January 17, 2020 at 10:32 am

    Can't w8 to see her singing at the grammy's this year, such a strong soul <3.

  • Reply Mateus Oliveira January 17, 2020 at 6:23 pm

    Te amo mamãe

  • Reply Chelby Hoag January 17, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    Damn she can SING

  • Reply Raneesha McCall January 17, 2020 at 11:25 pm

    To know everything she was going through while I was completely star struck over her makes my heart cry! I love you demi! Keeping you in my prayers forever

  • Reply mwuah sheila January 18, 2020 at 2:11 am

    I’ve watched this many times & I cry every time.

  • Reply Yan Matheus January 18, 2020 at 12:11 pm

    OMG 😭😭😭

  • Reply Song ÒwÓ January 18, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    Probably cried a million times

  • Reply Alleycat The Magnificent January 18, 2020 at 4:56 pm

    I’m so happy that she is letting us watch her story for free without having to pay. I love that she just wants us to hear her story without getting tons of money unlike other people. She is so strong and no matter if you hate her or love her, you can’t deny that she is strong and no matter what happens to her she always wants to be stronger and get better. I love her so much

  • Reply Damaris Daibert January 18, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    ok so now he is engaged with another woman, yes im crying

  • Reply Beasty orca!!!!! January 18, 2020 at 6:34 pm

    She looks pretty with out make-up omg 😲😊

  • Reply Melissa Mieske January 18, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    Good girl ! Be brave it’s more important to survive! 🦋💙

  • Reply Aiya Z January 18, 2020 at 7:28 pm

    Did anyone else feel very anxious about the vase on 51:27

  • Reply Abi Diaz January 18, 2020 at 9:19 pm

    I love you Demi 💖

  • Reply Miranda Dowell January 18, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    "I'm on a journey to discover what it's like to be free of all demons".

  • Reply Luiz Henrique January 18, 2020 at 9:36 pm


  • Reply Roger Briones bolaños January 19, 2020 at 5:04 am

    i love DEMI LOVATO

  • Reply Jina Abdel Massih January 19, 2020 at 10:40 am

    It's sad how she's not friends with the Jonas brothers anymore

  • Reply M H January 19, 2020 at 9:27 pm

    It takes a whole lotta guts and soul searching, pain, self-loathing, and acceptance to get where she is today. She has lived several lifetimes in a short time. But she also has a warrior's spirit guiding her, she can overcome even her worst self, to become her best self! I can say that about her because many of us have fought and lost those same battles within…and triumphed! She EARNED her Warrior Wings for sure! Proud of her for the fighter within that won't give up in the face of her personal demons. You Go Girl!!…Be Fearless in your surrender! ❤❤

  • Reply Aya Sg January 19, 2020 at 10:30 pm

    Every time I watch her documentary i cry 😭😭 she's soo strong and honest & most of that she's talented ( i miss Wilmer & Demi together ) 💔💔❤❤
    Much love for uu baby girl from Morocco ♡

  • Reply nicole l January 19, 2020 at 11:41 pm


  • Reply Mau Moraes January 20, 2020 at 1:25 am

    Eu amo esse documentário!!! Minha inspiração ♥
    I love this documentary !!! My inspiration ♥

  • Reply Jalei Mannis January 20, 2020 at 2:55 am

    I miss the old demi lovat

  • Reply Danica Diane January 20, 2020 at 3:53 am

    beautiful ♡ proud of u bb

  • Reply EMMA D January 20, 2020 at 4:30 am

    I’ve watched this about 20 times

  • Reply Jhon Morales January 20, 2020 at 5:50 am

    I love my queen, comeback to music 😍

  • Reply Tuti Tipi January 20, 2020 at 5:52 am

    I never get tired to waiting for her new album,,,it’s not about her as human with a lot of lack like we all have ,,
    But she is incredible talented
    Her music her voice all I wanted right now

  • Reply Cassidy Roberson January 20, 2020 at 5:56 am

    God bless Demi ❤️

  • Reply Chronade NALLYWAYS January 20, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    I love you Demi. Continue in the grace of God 💖

  • Reply Gabriel Molina January 20, 2020 at 5:10 pm

    Thank you/gracias demi

  • Reply Meee ee January 21, 2020 at 12:40 am

    She did heroine and overdosed since this. How strong

  • Reply Legendreux January 21, 2020 at 10:51 am

    Watching this brought tears to my eyes, I fucking love you Demi!!

  • Reply Katarina Cindrič January 21, 2020 at 1:14 pm

    And now Wilmar is engaged 🤔

  • Reply Drei Knight January 21, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    Saying these personal stuff is such bravery and her journey was so sad.

  • Reply Ольга Чистякова January 21, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    Want part 2

  • Reply Nohaila Nur January 21, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    I looove her , there is no way you cant love demi , she's a queen ♡♡♡♡♡

  • Reply Nohaila Nur January 21, 2020 at 8:31 pm

    When doemi laughed at 9:52 😂😂♡♡♡♡♡♡

  • Reply Nohaila Nur January 21, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Demi's laugh is everything

  • Reply Nohaila Nur January 21, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    Having this ducomentary to watch is such a blessing ..

  • Reply Nohaila Nur January 21, 2020 at 10:06 pm

    She's the best , i'm in tears 😍😍😍😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • Reply Irene Ravhura January 22, 2020 at 12:22 am

    Him: That last line was awesome

    Demi: Yeah,… I mean thanks

    Here I am like "damn she's trying hard to fight her tears"

  • Reply Rose Le Rouge January 22, 2020 at 2:03 am

    I need part two

  • Reply slime queens belle January 22, 2020 at 12:27 pm

    She's very beautiful

  • Reply Michael Quinn January 22, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    When her trainer cracked to say to black belt around her wrist, that hit me….

  • Reply BlackSlime333 January 22, 2020 at 8:57 pm

    i am broken because of what she had to go thow, she is such a strong person and she is going to be even stronger. Demi you are great

  • Reply Erica Ending January 22, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    Still watching …
    Gosh…she's really strong that's why I love her…she's honest ..

  • Reply Dope Desperado(a.k.a. The L.O.L.) January 22, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    Wish her the best. She is so sexy beautiful and not overdone and extra fake

  • Reply Ava Peters January 22, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    Love u and relate more than you will ever know please stay strong 🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️

  • Reply Dope Desperado(a.k.a. The L.O.L.) January 22, 2020 at 11:45 pm

    "I'm about to beat this bitch up" my girl. I liked her before I like her even more now that I know she is normal

  • Reply Anna Khait January 23, 2020 at 12:48 am

    Peace came to me through Jesus! I pray you seek and find him! THAT is how you find REAL PEACE! God bless you Demi!

  • Reply Maddi Y January 23, 2020 at 2:16 am

    God she reminds me so much of my sister. My sister looks like her, she’s also 27, she also has bipolar, and is also an addict. I want both my sister and Demi to get better so fucking bad. Last I heard, Demi is in a better place after her overdose. I really hope that’s true❤️

  • Reply Sabrinia Taylor January 23, 2020 at 2:29 am

    I totally forgot about as the bell rings and I've just been hit with this huge wave of nostalgia. I've been obsessed w demi & her music since I was a kid and I've also been able to sing my ABCs backwards since then.. 😂 I remembered learning it from a tv show but I didn't realize it was demi till now.. makes sense why it stuck with me for so long 😂🥰

  • Reply kaylee jacobi January 23, 2020 at 6:05 am

    watching this 2 years & 3 months since it was released..WOW! this gal continues to inspire me more & more each day😭💓love her with my whole heart!

  • Reply kaylee jacobi January 23, 2020 at 6:06 am

    my one dream would be to meet her so i could tell her how much she means to me😭

  • Reply Robin Houser January 23, 2020 at 6:28 am

    As a Mental Health Therapist, I hope Demi is diving in to Spirituality so she is able to feel how not alone she is and continue to up-level how she contributes to society. The world needs her and her blossoming visions! This is one of my most favorite steps to help clients dive into! Best wishes for every step you take towards loving yourself as the gift you are here to be! Robin

  • Reply Amy Gordon January 23, 2020 at 7:58 am

    She has the most beautiful skin and her music is incredible!

  • Reply Rico& tee January 23, 2020 at 11:34 am


  • Reply Clarissa Navarro January 23, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    One of the most strongest beautiful women i look up to 🖤 thank you for being you

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