League of Legends : Escape From Hell 2

September 3, 2019

ThI m a poo poo head when you kill them, they die in real life. Eyy, hehe, that’s just the way of the world, you know? But damn! Now I feel remorse. Ayyyy! It’s a pizza party bab- “Am I the youtube?” I don’t know man, you tell me. Hahaha! Leap frog baby, here we go. Boing! Yes! Show me the money! And that’s why you never pet a hungry dunkey! Livin’ large baby. *laughs* We living so… What the fuck?! *glass shatters* Silver IV?! I was Plat last time I played this shit! *slams the table* I was Plat! (Distant) I climbed my way up the fuckin’ ranks, and I fuckin’- I beat the goddamn game and- this piece of sh…! *door slams shut in the distance* I’m fucking done playing! I’m done forever! Here we go again! It’s so good to be back playing ranked, baby. Uhhh, It came as a surprise that I was Silver IV but Could be worse, could be Bronze 10, like some Rivens I know. Quick Corki! Pretend you’re good at this game! Grab the lantern… Oh, They saw right through our charade. Damn. That’s not even close to being close! That’s not even far to be honest. What the hell is this man typing? “I’m trying to remember the song I made for Akali…” “and no, not a sexy song, lol” *laughs* “Se…” Oh, oh. Thank you, thank you for correcting that. Which one of you guys ordered the Dunkey dick sandwich, Extra dick on the side for your boyfriend Carlos? Was it you? It had to be Graves. Look at that man. That’s the man, that’s the man who looks like he eats a lot of salami every week. Am I right or am I right? You know, let the Sejuani go, ’cause she’s on a diet. (Action music plays) Dang, this guy is cool. He is gonna kick some butt. *gasps* (music suddenly stops) (Music suddenly starts again) Oh my god! Oh my god we’re gonna win! Fizz is really good against these tanky top laners… Annnnd there’s my favorite part about being Dunkey. See? Now this is a smart kid. (Sniffs) You guys smell that? I’ve been accidentaly dropped into a Bronze 5 match. Not because I have a Ziggs support top taking all my creeps… No, that’s circumstancial. It’s because we won that match, that’s how I know. Then, here’s the big teamfight! Come on Jinx! Come over here! This is the longest teamfight in history! And after all these years, still, still in the jungle Jinx. And now we’re all dead. He was daving top. *laughs* All the way from the jungle. Oh boy, and now I have Hecarim daving top trying to steal my kill. Don’t worry. There you go Hecarim! And of course, he’s pissed off at me… because his brain does not have the basic functionality I’ve come to expect from chimpanzees. Here he comes again folks, here it is! Oh and he completely misses the ult! ” Whatever, I’m done ganking for you guys, I’m gonna go eat nachos.” Yes, good work team! Yes! Aced! We win! We win, it’s over. We have the lane of super minions… Just don’t step on another mushroom like you just did… and wipe out our entire team and now we lose! This should be one of the default report tabs. Ah no, probably doesn’t happen often enough… So you gotta.. yeah just type it in, “Picked Bard.” Oh, I’m sorry team, I’m only 15 and 4 over here soloing their entire team. All by myself. I mean, come on, just ’cause I’m a 100 and 0 I deserve the win? No, come on. See guys? I’m good. *monkey whooping noises* Woah! *laughs* Oh god no, get the hell outta here Dar… Woah!!! Woah, woah, woah, woah! What’d you think this is, eh? Ancient Egypt? Where the pussies are the king? Nah, nah oh no wait! Wait for my mana! Wait for my wu-wu-wu-wu-wu- *BOOM* Who the fuck is this man ulting? Oh, me and that Graves are thinking the same thing. High-five baby! *Smack* Yes! Yes we are- You can tape a dog to a keyboard but you can’t teach him to play league! *laughs* Get the… Hey, hey Katarina when you’re done doing that… come over here we can fuckin’ do dis! Don’t you kill that guy! Don’t you… Oh! you just had to do it, now I’m giving to the count to ten to get outta here, You got ten seconds! One! Ahh, fuck that guy. Shoot your move, Alfonso! Direct hit! I’m going in for the spinnerooni baby! *laughs* I swear man, honestly, these teams are getting better as I climb through the ranks! Disregard everything that I just said. Hey Lee Sin can you see this? Can you se… You know what, I’ll see you later. Also… Woah! Hey eh eh… Nah nah nah. I’m gona let you go. I’m gona let you go… c’m– Morgana… C’mon. I have no health and no mana. Do you honestly think you can kill… Oh, hi, Lee sin. Do you honestly think that you can kill me? Nah, C’mon you’re a good kid- just get outta here. Get out… I’ll let you live. Go eat some nachos. Here we go baby, for the championship! It’s about to get real serious. “I’m just gonna kind of troll this game, but I won’t throw, don’t worry.” No, Fiddlesticks, don’t solo the Baron! And he’s dead… Aaaaand there he goes. Alright. This is why I’m Silver I baby! This is why they pay me the big bucks. What the fuck is this framerate? Jesus Christ, these medium-high graphics will be the fucking death of me. Break it up you two. What the fuck is this? Mike Tyson’s prom night with the dragon? Nah nah, get the fuck out… Oh shit! Nah nah nah, nah nah nah you c-… Nautilus, why don’t you dance with Alistar? No! *laughs* Just leave me out of this Alistair! *laughs* It’s between me and Nautilus. You stay far… You stay far away! *BOOM* Ahhhhh, Gold baby. This, this is where I belong. In the Olympics, you know, gold is as high as it goes… And the Olympics is real life. *Crashing noises*

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