-And now here to perform
“I Cain’t Say No,” from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s
“Oklahoma!”, Ali Stroker. [ Cheering and applause ] -♪ It ain’t ♪ ♪ So much a question
of not knowin’ what to do ♪ ♪ I knowed what’s right
and wrong since I been ten ♪ ♪ I heared a lot of stories ♪ ♪ And I reckon they are true ♪ ♪ About how girls
are put upon by men ♪ ♪ I know I mustn’t
fall into the pit ♪ ♪ But when I’m with a feller ♪ [ Inhales sharply ] ♪ I fergit ♪ ♪♪ ♪ I’m just a girl
who cain’t say no ♪ ♪ I’m in a terrible fix ♪ ♪ I always say,
“Come on, let’s go” ♪ ♪ Just when I orta say nix ♪ ♪ When a person
tries to kiss a girl ♪ ♪ I know she orta
give his face a smack ♪ ♪ But as soon
as someone kisses me ♪ ♪ I somehow sorta
wanta kiss him back ♪ ♪ I’m just a fool
when lights are low ♪ ♪ I cain’t be prissy
and quaint ♪ ♪ I ain’t the type
that can faint ♪ ♪ How can I be what I ain’t? ♪ ♪ I cain’t say no ♪ ♪ What you gonna do
when a feller gits flirty ♪ ♪ And starts to talk purty ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Supposin’ that he says that
yer lips are like cherries ♪ ♪ Or roses or berries ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Supposin’ that he says
that you’re sweeter than cream ♪ ♪ And he’s gotta have cream
or die ♪ ♪ What you gonna do
when he talks that way? ♪ ♪ Spit in his eye? ♪ ♪ I’m just a girl
who cain’t say no ♪ ♪ Cain’t seem
to say it at all ♪ ♪ I hate
to disserpoint a beau ♪ ♪ When he is payin’ a call ♪ ♪ Fer a while,
I act refined and cool ♪ [ Laughter ] ♪ A-sittin’ on
a velveteen settee ♪ ♪ Then I think
of that old Golden Rule ♪ ♪ And do fer him
what he would do fer me ♪ ♪ I cain’t resist a Romeo ♪ ♪ In a sombrero and chaps ♪ ♪ Soon as I sit
on their laps ♪ ♪ Somethin’ inside of me snaps ♪ ♪ I cain’t say no ♪ ♪♪ ♪ I’m just a girl
who cain’t say no ♪ ♪ Kissin’s my favorite food ♪ ♪ With or without
the mistletoe ♪ ♪ I’m in a holiday mood ♪ ♪ Other girls are coy
and hard to catch ♪ ♪ But other girls
ain’t havin’ any fun ♪ ♪ Every time I lose
a wrestlin’ match ♪ ♪ I have a funny feelin’
that I won ♪ ♪ Though I can feel
the undertow ♪ ♪ I never make a complaint ♪ ♪ Till it’s too late
fer restraint ♪ ♪ Then when I want to,
I cain’t ♪ ♪ I cain’t say… ♪ ♪ N-o-o-o-o,
whoo-ooh! ♪ [ Cheering and applause ] -Come on! Oh! Oh! Oh, my goodness!
Come on! That is how you do it!
That is how you do it! Ali Stroker! [ Cheers and applause ] Go see “Oklahoma!” now, playing on Broadway at the
Circle in the Square Theatre. Fantastic.
-I am so excited about this. Tonight,
we are coming to you live! [ Cheers and applause ] Live!
Whoa! And this is very special —
our entire audience is filled with Democrats
who are running for president. So, unbelievable.
[ Cheers and applause ] Fantastic.
Congratulations. Yeah, just like the debate,
everyone here gets 10 seconds to talk.
[ Laughter ] And since it’s NBC,
if you go past your time, you’re gonna hear this. [ Dramatic tone ] Okay.
That’s the way it works. Now, the debate
was right here at NBC, and there was a lot
of excitement in the building. It felt
just like the Super Bowl, you know, if 20 teams
played the game over two nights and the winner wasn’t decided
for another year. But besides that… But it’s true — we’re live, and we just watched the first
Democratic debate down in Miami. If you missed it,
here’s what happened. There were 10 Democrats
on stage, and to qualify, all a candidate needed
was to poll at 1% or higher. [ Laughter ] That’s it? One per–
I mean, even O.J. is at 2%. -Oh.
[ Laughter ] -But once it got under way, something very interesting
happened. In his first question
of the night, Beto O’Rourke decided
to start speaking Spanish. Watch this. -And it’s gonna take all of us
coming together to make sure that it does. [ Speaking Spanish ] [ Laughter ] -Cory Booker’s face.
[ Laughter ] Oh, Cory B– yeah. Trump was watching like, “Crap.
Did I hit the SAP button? What is it?
What is it?” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Then, when they called on
Bill de Blasio, he was like, “Uh, thank-a you-o.
I’m-a happy to be here-o.” [ Laughter ] Meanwhile, Cory Booker
saw Beto speaking Spanish and decided to join in, too.
Watch him. -[ Speaking Spanish ] [ Laughter ] -He sounds
like Arnold Schwarzenegger learning Rosetta Stone. He’s like…
[ Speaking Spanish loudly ] [ Laughter ] [ Speaking Spanish loudly ] [ Cheers and applause ] Meanwhile, over on Telemundo,
they were speaking English. -Really?
-It was unbelievable tonight. -Wow!
-Yeah, Beto and Booker both spoke Spanish,
but it’s not that crazy because Miami has a large
Spanish-speaking community. I just hope that the next debate
is in Boston so I can hear them say, “We need free college
for anyone who is wicked smart.” [ Laughter ] Later on, we got our first look
at one of the underdogs, former Maryland Congressman
John Delaney. Take a look at this guy.
Yeah. [ Laughter ] He looks like a talking thumb.
[ Laughter ] Well, as expected,
Elizabeth Warren and Cory Booker did well tonight,
but I actually thought Bill de Blasio
did a pretty good job, too. The New Yorkers are like, “Where the hell’s
this friggin’ guy been? Hey, whoa, hey!” Meanwhile, later on —
[ Feedback ] -Welcome back to “Today” —
-Sorry, sorry. That’s a mic. Can someone turn
Savannah Guthrie’s microphone off?
Thank you. Appreciate it. So, during the debate, there were
some technical difficulties. Take a look at this. -Should there be a role
for the federal government — -The mics are on.
-Everybody’s mics are on. Think we had
a little mic issue in the back. -Control room,
we’ve got contrary audio. -We had the —
I think we heard — Yeah, we have
the audience audio. -What’s happening? [ Laughter ] -Then Vladimir Putin was like,
“Is too easy.” [ Laughter ] “Is too easy.” [ Laughs ] Now, get this — Trump tweeted
and called the debate boring. But he still watched
even though he also said it was a “very unexciting
group of people.” As opposed to the rock stars
he usually hangs out with, like Mike Pence
and Steve Mnuchin. [ Laughter ] But I think
I know why Trump’s upset. He’s probably
jealous of the Democrats. You know, if you think about it,
they got to be on TV, they got
to talk about themselves, and they got to be in Florida. It’s like, “These are
my three favorite things! I can’t believe it!”
[ Laughter ] There’s a lot going on
in the race, and there’s
so many Democrats running, it’s hard to keep up,
so we thought we’d help you out. Enjoy. ♪♪ -♪ Bernie Sanders ♪
-♪ Tulsi Gabbard ♪ -♪ Julián Castro ♪
-♪ Beto O’Rourke ♪ -♪ Elizabeth Warren ♪
-♪ John Delaney ♪ -♪ Kirsten Gillibrand
from New York ♪ -♪ Cory Booker ♪
-♪ Andrew Yang ♪ -♪ I’m Bill de Blasio ♪
-♪ Tim Ryan ♪ -♪ Michael Bennet ♪
-♪ I’m Eric Swalwell ♪ -♪ Marianne Williamson ♪
-♪ Joe Biden ♪ [ Laughs ] -♪ I’m Jay Inslee ♪
-♪ Kamala Harris ♪ -♪ My name is Pete Buttigieg ♪
-♪ I’m Amy Klobuchar ♪ ♪ And I approve this message ♪
-Yay! -♪ I’m John Hickenlooper ♪ ♪ Skinny kid
with a funny last name ♪ -♪ Now,
who the hell’s gonna beat me? ♪ ♪ Their policies
are just insane ♪ -♪ Gun control ♪
-♪ Equality ♪ -♪ Climate change ♪
-♪ Voting rights ♪ -♪ Campaign finance ♪
-♪ Free tuition ♪ -♪ Living wages ♪ -♪ Will not deny
social justice ♪ -♪ Join the fight ♪
♪ Identify ♪ -♪ A woman’s right ♪
-♪ It’s true ♪ -♪ No excuse ♪
-♪ We can’t afford to lose ♪ -♪ Democratic candidates are
here to change the world today ♪ -♪ I’m gonna change my slogan ♪ ♪ We’ll sell many,
many more hats that way ♪ -♪ Focus on the future ♪ -♪ There is nothing
we can’t overcome ♪ -♪ Democratic candidates are
not afraid of Donald Trump ♪ -♪ When people come after me ♪ ♪ That’s really, really,
really dumb ♪ -♪ Democratic candidates
will never defeat Donald Trump ♪ -♪ Extreme radical Democrats ♪ -Thank you very much.
-There you go. [ Cheers and applause ] I hope that helps. [ Applause ] And did you
see the stage tonight? All the candidates were standing
in front of a fake White House. Take a look at this.
Yeah. [ Laughter ] Meanwhile,
inside the real White House, Trump was
looking out the window like, “Why can’t I see them?
Am I in the wrong — Am I in the Upside Down?” [ Laughter ] Earlier today, each candidate
got to spend a few minutes doing a walk-through
on the stage just to check out the mics
and all that stuff. Most of them
wore suits and dresses, but Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan
did things a little differently. Watch this.
-All right, 2020 contender Tim Ryan is on the debate stage
right now doing his walk-through.
That’s gonna be happening through the course of the day. -He’s like, “Hurry up, dude! I got to get to the quad
for Frisbee golf! I mean, what’s going on?!”
[ Laughter ] Guys, it seems like
there’s so much going on in the news right now. The Democratic debates
are this week, everybody’s talking about
“Toy Story 4,” Wimbledon is also starting up, and KFC just announced a new
Cheetos Chicken Sandwich. There’s a lot to go over,
so let’s all just jump in, cover it all at once. It’s time for a News Smash. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ First up,
the Democratic debates. 10 Democrats
went head-to-head tonight, and 10 more
will do the same thing tomorrow. There are some
obvious front-runners, but other candidates
aren’t very popular at all. You know what is popular?
“Toy Story 4.” It’s part of one of the most
successful film franchises ever. These movies
get people so emotional, by the time
they leave the theater, they’re an absolute mess. Speaking of absolute messes,
KFC’s new Cheetos sandwich. It’s fried chicken
with Cheetos on top, drenched in
a Cheetos-flavored sauce. If you’re the kind of person who
plans on ordering this thing, you know what
you probably won’t be doing? Competing at Wimbledon. It’s the biggest, classiest
tennis tournament of the year, where players are required
to wear all white. You know who shouldn’t
wear all white? Anyone trying to eat
KFC’s Cheetos sandwich. I mean, all the Cheeto dust, and this thing
can’t be good for you. The number of calories
probably goes all the way to infinity and beyond.
[ Laughter ] The “Toy Story” movies
have introduced us to so many great characters,
it’s hard to keep up. You know what else
is hard to keep up with? All these Democrats.
They just keep going back and forth and back forth. You know what else
goes back and forth? Tennis!
And qualifying for Wimbledon takes years
of blood, sweat, and tears. Speaking of tears, “Toy Story.” These movies
can cause a lot of heartache, but if you really want
your heart to hurt, why not try
KFC’s Cheetos sandwich? In conclusion, good luck,
good luck, good luck, good luck. [ Cheers and applause ]
>>James: NOW EVAN WE HAVE TO
CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR SMALL INDEPENDENT MOVIE.>>FROZEN 2, IT COULDN’T BE
BIGGER. IT KONLT BE HUGER.>>WHO KNEW.>>James: WHO KNEW THAT FROZEN
2 COULD BREAK BOX OFFICE RECORDS. TELL EVERYONE WHAT DOESN’T KNOW
WHAT IS HAPPENING.>>SO IN THE SEQUEL WE FIND OUT
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THE GIRL’S ORIGIN STORIES. A LITTLE MORE OF THE ORIGIN OF
POWERS AND THE WE GO BACK IN TIME A LITTLE BIT AND GET TO
KNOW THEM, AND MY CHARACTER, AND SHE IS ACTUALLY KIND OF
SPRINKLED BREADCRUMBS AROUND FOR HER DAUGHTER TO FIND, SO THEY
CAN MAKE SENSE OF THEIR PRESENCE THROUGH THEIR PAST.>>James: IT IS FROZEN A BIG
THING IN YOUR HOUSE?>>IT WAS A BIG PROBLEM,
ACTUALLY.>>I’M SORRY.>>I AM GOING TO VOICE SOME
CONCERNS BECAUSE HAVE I NO STAKE IN THE FRANCHISE. THE FIRST ONE WAS DRAMATIC
BECAUSE ITS PREMICE– THE PREMISE, ITS FIRST SCENE, THE
GIRLS, IT IS A FLASHBACK, TOUCHES THE OTHER GIRL, THE GIRL
FREEZES, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO A FOUR YEAR OLD, OH YEAH, SHE
FROZE HER AND DON’T DO THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. LIKE TRY NOT TO FREEZE YOUR
FRIENDS.>>James: YEAH.>>MY DAUGHTER BY THE WAY IS
FOUR AND A HALF WHICH IS CLOSE, SHE IS IN THAT AGE WHERE SHE,
EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS A DOCIAL. THE OTHER DAY I GO, I GO MOM IS
GOING TO PUT YOU TO BED TONIGHTMENT AND SHE SAID SHE’S
NOT YOUR MOM. SHE’S MY MOM. I SAID THAT’S WHAT MY THERAPIST
KEEPS TELLING ME BUT THEY ALL– ALL TODDLERS HAVE A BOSTON
ACCENT THARNTION IS THE THING ABOUT TODDLERS.>>James: THEY DO, YOU’RE
RIGHT.>>THEY’RE LIKE I’M TIRED,
BOSTON TOLDER ARE LIKE I’M WICKED TIRED.>>I NEED A WATTER.>>James: MY ISSUE WITH FROZEN
IS THAT OBVIOUSLY WE WERE JUST DONE WITH IT.>>YEAH, I KNOW, YOU JUST GOT
THOSE SONGS OUT OF YOU ARE HEAD.>>James: JUST DONE WITH T
JUST NOW ON THE BACK BURNER IN OUR HOUSE T WAS DONE, IT WAS
GONE.>>YEAH, SAME, SAME THING, DONE,
DONE. WHAT IS NEW. NOW IT’S BACK.>>HA HA HA.>>James: SO WAS DISNEY A BIG
DEAL GROWING UP IN YOUR HOUSE, MELISSA.>>OH YEAH, ABSOLUTELY, WE WERE
DISNEY KIDS. WE WENT, I PERFORMED IN A SHOW
CHOIR THAT WE PERFORMED EVERY YEAR IN DISNEYLAND WITH MY BEST
FRIENDS. SOME OF THE GREATEST TIMES OF MY
LIFE AND MY FIRST CRUSH WAS A DISNEY WASHING.>>YOUR FIRST CRUSH YOU HAD A
CRUSH ON.>>WE ALSO MET ONE DISNEY
CHARACTER, IT WAS WEIRD, I KPTD BELIEVE I’M SAYING THIS, I HAD A
CRUSH ON SIMBA.>>THE LION.>>I KNEW A GUY THAT HAD A CRUSH
ON NAL BLANCA ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE MARRIED.>>James: WHEN YOU SAY A
CRUSH.>>YEAH, A CRUSH.>>James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN.>>IN HER DEFENSE.>>James: ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT, SAVENY.>>BUT AN ANIMATED LION, YOU HAD
A CRUSH.>>I THINK IT HAD TO DO WITH THE
FACT IT WAS JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS, IN REALITY, BUT FOR
SOMEBODY BORN IN THE 90S.>>YEAH, YEAH.>>James: WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH
now Here’s how it works. We’re Gonna Take turns drawing one of these cars each card has five totally random questions on it one two three fake back. Thank you yet, then No, I love ya, that’s it. I love it. Now. Does it does it does it touch this sequence? That’s it very good One person asks the questions the other person has to answer each question as soon as it’s asked and I mean immediately It doesn’t matter if the answer is right or wrong just has to be the very first thing that pops into your head Wilson’s you’re the Guest I’ll read your questions first. Are you ready? Yeah here we go Why is the sun so hot uh yellow what are? What are what are birds made out of plastic? How old is Jon hamm? Uh? 59 What was Elvis’s first word peacock? Who stole the eggs uh Larry and his family brother? Learn his brother larry and his brother stole the eggs Yellow okay yeah. Yeah, okay? No yeah, you can all ask questions own. You’re ready. I’m dizzier. That was great, okay What can I buy for a dollar? Sandwich well where are the children hiding in the basement? What are sports things? How heavy is a duck 12 pounds? Tell me a secret Shampoo is A Gassy secret Dad go to juice easy juicing here. We go. All right Mm-hmm lights Which rabbit is the best uh? Joe how how big is the Big man uh? He’s he’s bigger He’s he’s bigger than you. Think he is but he’s smaller than a jockey Why work why were you late for my wedding because my dad said? knock it off name the best place oh Alaska What are the names of the two firemen there’s a? Captain Ron Captain Ron yes, yes and cecil All right it fits, right It’s the final round so here’s how to do it is good that I’m this time around we’ll both pick up a card with the same set of questions I’ll ask you answered then you ask the question and we’ll just back and forth back and Forth Since King Kong yeah ready, okay? Who drank all the coffee my mom did she was thirsty where did the money go? I’m just the mattress? What does the name of your first kiss um? What would have been a better name for the Beatles this discreet? Oh? What what is a jazz boy? Uh? He’s the guy who? carries the saxophone How many people are there in Canada three? What are you? I’m me. What’s a cool greeting. Hola Why are you so great because it’s in the genes. Uh sing me a song Orlando Orlando That was the fast barrel in the house indeed June 30th
♪ -The Puppy Predictors! ♪ -Welcome to the Puppy Predictors
Super Bowl LII Edition. Here’s how it works. We have 11 puppies,
we have two bowls of kibble, one representing
the New England Patriots, the other representing
the Philadelphia Eagles. Whichever team’s bowl
gets the most puppies will be crowned
the Super Bowl champs. Now… [ Cheers and applause ] -…let’s meet the puppies. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Come and get it. Hi, guys. Uh, guys, we have Ron Bell,
Kyle McAdams, Mary Kennedy, Ted Mooney, Donna Braylon,
Peter Winston, Roger Blain, Lisa Armstrong, Bruce Devins,
Angie Griffin and Gary Frick Jr. Now… [ Cheers and applause ] …listen up. Before we release you, okay,
I want no, uh — I want no whining,
no — no butt sniffing, no colluding. Uh, Gary — Gary Frick Jr.,
get over here. Gary, pay attention. Gary! Pay atten– Yes, very good. Now, look, you guys ready
to do this and see who are gonna be
the Super Bowl champs? All right, here we go. Release the puppies. [ Audience “Awws” ] -Ooh, it’s a tight… Oh, looks like a landslide! The New England Patriots
are the Super Bowl champs! [ Dinging ] ♪♪ -Come on. The New England Patriots will be
crowned the Super Bowl champs. Enjoy the game, everybody. We’ll be right back
with Katie Couric. Stick around. ♪ -Puppy Predictors ♪
-Happy Thanksgiving. -Is it — Well, not yet. -No, no.
-Coming up. -No, today is Thanksgiving. -It is?
-Yeah, today. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, man. Thanks for coming over.
Thanks for coming over, man. -Did you make any food, or — -I have just liquids, just —
-Yeah. -I just pureed
some turkey and stuff — -Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving. What are you doing for
Thanksgiving? Anything cool? -Yeah, super cool stuff. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, man.
-Hold on. Listen to this. I’m going to the house
where my wife grew up in Boston. -There you go, man. [ Howls ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Imitates air horn blaring ] [ Beatboxing ] -To hang out
with my mother-in-law. -Wow.
[ Laughter ] -And they have a basement. [ Laughter ] -Wow. Wow, that’s fun.
-And they’re gonna be — Yeah.
-The kids must love that. -The kids love it. The kids do.
They love going to Boston. -Yeah.
-Because there’s no basements in California.
Houses don’t have basements. -That’s right. -So a basement is like
a magical place… for them.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, a little clubhouse.
-They go down there and, you know,
have Nerf gun battles. -And then the other big thing we
do is we go to Dunkin’ Donuts. [ Laughter ] -When you’re in Boston? -Their uncle,
my brother-in-law… -Yeah.
-…my wife’s brother — -Yeah. -…takes them
to Dunkin’ Donuts, and they get to just
pick whatever they want. [ Light laughter ] -That’s what you do
when you go to Boston? -So that’s what happens… -Wow.
-…when we go to Boston. -[ Howls ]
-Yeah! Whoo! -You’re hosting “SNL”
this weekend. -I know. -I’m so excited.
-Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ] -For the fifth time.
-Back up. It’s always a fun, surreal
experience to go back. You’ve done it.
-Doesn’t it smell the same, like, when you —
-The aroma is still rich. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -It feels like going back to
your high school or something. Either it’s the paint
on the floor or something — -Yeah, there’s something —
-Yeah. But it’s good. It’s good. And they got
a good cast up there. -Great cast.
A lot to talk about in the news. -Yeah, that’s true.
-Uh-huh. Right? -But what do you — When people
talk about your best of “SNL” or things that you’ve done
on the show, I know what everyone
brings up to me, which you’re involved in. [ Both laugh ] Anyway, let’s talk about
something else. -Cowbell. Cowbell sketch. -Yes, the cowbell sketch.
-Right? -That’s what I was gonna say.
I was gonna say that. I was gonna talk
about the cowbell. -You were a major part of that. -I was a really major part
of the cowbell sketch. It was all you. It was all you. This is a picture of —
-And there’s Jimmy. -Yeah.
-That’s me there. -Right.
-That’s Kattan, Parnell. -Look at that hair. -Horatio Sanz.
-And — -That’s you, and that is
Christopher Walken. -Which is —
It’s the strangest thing. [ Laughter ] -And that’s Christopher Walken. -That’s Christopher Walken
across from that. [ Laughter ] -Look at —
That shirt is insane. -You maintain that
between dress rehearsal and air that I went and put
a tighter shirt on. -I think you did. Didn’t you? -I thought it just hiked — I thought I just put
a little more mustard into it. And then it hiked up. -Is that right? I thought — -But you thought I put
a tighter shirt on, you think? -I thought you did, because this doesn’t even
feel like a shirt that should — [ Laughter ] It’s insane. Everyone else
is wearing other shirts. I think I would have — But you were coming up
a little bit in dress. -Yeah.
-But that was high up. -Yeah. -And that was —
That was low down. -But you might be right.
Maybe I — -I mean, you barely
had a shirt on. -Maybe I switched it
to a tighter shirt. -‘Cause I remember
it was so loud on air because — -Oh, with — Yeah. I banged it much louder
than the dress. -No, but I mean
the audience response. Oh, the response. Yeah. -Yeah, but, I mean, like,
the sketch was on at the end of the show,
I believe, which is where usually
the weirder sketches are. -Yeah, yeah.
-And it was working so well that the floor started shaking. -Oh, I don’t remember that. -Yeah. Yeah. -I was just in a haze.
-You were in a — Dude, you were in a comedy haze. -I was staring you down. But you — ‘Cause you were laughing.
But I was laughing, too, but the beard was just
protecting — You couldn’t see it.
You couldn’t see it. -‘Cause, dude, I —
-Wait, put the picture back up. Look. See,
the beard is hiding — See, I’m smiling.
I’m smiling right there. -I mean, that was —
That started it for me. That was my whole thing —
-But here’s the crazy thing. So, I go to see Christopher
Walken years later… -Yeah.
-…in a play. I say hello to him backstage. And he’s like, “You know, you’ve ruined my life.” [ Laughter ] What? “People during the curtain call
bring cowbells and ring them. [ Laughter ] The other day, I went
for an Italian food lunch. And the waiter asked
if I wanted more cowbell with my pasta Bolognese.” [ Laughter ] And I think he was
really mad at me. -No way. -He had a little smile, but — -Well, because he had
such a great career. But, you know —
-He is a great actor. -From “The Deer Hunter”…
-Yeah. -…to “Pulp Fiction”…
-“Pulp Fiction.” He’s amazing. -…to “More Cowbell.”
That’s all he gets. -That’s all he gets now? So it made a lot of people
happy, but… -Christopher —
…ruined one person’s life. -Ruined one person.
But what are you going to do? -That’s good odds.
-Right? -That’s decent odds.
You know what I’m saying?
– You’re gonna be in
a rom-com soon. – Thank you, I-I hope so.
– I feel that for you. – With her would be amazing.
– Yeah. – As my–
– Wait, are you trying to make me jealous?
– Why? – Is she gonna be
your lesbian lover? – Dude, no, I have such…
– What’s happening here? – …a crush on you.
– I do feel it. – I’m so gay for you,
I’m not even kidding you. It’s kind of weird.
Like, I’ve never had a crush on a girl before
in the way that I have on you, and it is sexual, and I just
wanna admit that to you. – I feel like you guys could
end up together for a long time. – Oh, my gosh.
– Oh, my gosh. ♪♪ – I’m fascinated by
Hannah Berner. We have a lo– she– I did
her podcast which is out today. “Burning in Hell”
is the name of the podcast, and our episode just dropped
this morning. It’s available everywhere
you get your podcasts. We had such a good talk.
– It was an hour-45. Cut it down to like an hour-20.
– What did you take out? I hope you took-
– You know what I took out. – Oh, I’m so glad because
I was like, we’re gonna be
in trouble, Hannah. – I looked out for
the both of us. I went through that
with a needle-toothed comb. – I’m so grateful.
– Oh, man. – ‘Cause I’d rather us
be completely open, talk all the shit,
and then I use my creative, artistic
editing skills… – I was nervous…
– …to make us not get in trouble.
– …about that coming out. Because I was lik– listen,
I stand by everything I said. But, like, it was
a fine dance of words. – I would say something
and you would look at me, and I’d be like–
– No, because that’s the thing. But now I realize,
you’re like, “Bitch, I can take this out late–”
I didn’t realize that. I thought you were kind of like,
“Whatever happens, happens, and I don’t give a fuck.”
But you– okay, good. So you knew that you
were gonna go back– – Yeah. I mean,
I strategically kept some. And I had coffee with him
this week too. – Yes. Okay. – So you guys– can I say
what we’re all wondering? – Yeah, so Hannah opens
the podcast when she has me on and she’s like,
“Welcome to the show, my Eskimo sister
Nikki Glaser.” And I was like,
we’re just going in, aren’t we? And it made me feel
so good because– – And that means you’ve both
slept with the same man? – We’ve had the same dick
inside of us, yes. – Oh, my gosh.
– Ah, Eskimo sisters. I thought it was just
a nose kiss. – Oh, well, that too.
We’ll get there eventually. – But tha– that’s some
petty bullshit. We don’t do–
– Yeah, we spent a winter in an igloo together, but that’s not what
we’re referencing when we say Eskimo sisters,
but we did have that vacation. – That’s a new reality show–
– We did go on a journey. We went on a journey.
– Mm-hmm. – ‘Cause I thought
like Dan had made it seem– oh, my god, I just dropped it.
– It’s fine. – Dan Rather? You guys
both dated Dan Rather? – I love an old man,
I love an old, experienced man. – SiriusXM’s Dan Rather.
– (laughter) – Um, I mean, we–
– He’s distinguished. – Your boyfriend was Dan Soder
for a while. – Mm-hmm.
– And right before you, we had d– I had dated him
and was dumped by him. – You were the collateral dam–
– I think for you. You were the–
I don’t think, no. No, I don’t think it was for me.
– No, I think I just trace it to l– you know
when you’re like, you just, you meet someone else
that you like more– – And you’re like,
“Oh, that’s why it ended.” – Yeah, like, it all kinda fell
into place where I was like, he was probably talking
to her around the time where we were kind of like–
which is fine. Like, i–
I’ve never once be– I-I insist that my like,
boyfriends when I date them play the field, like,
look at other w– – Yeah.
– If you want someone better than me, then go,
but I didn’t get that answer when he broke up with me.
– But also, let’s go back– there’s no “better” than anyone,
it’s who is a good fit for you– – Are you talking vaginal fit? – Yes. (laughter) – He’s like Cinderella
with his dick. – (laughter)
– Just trying on different… slippers. “This one, mmm, not quite.”
– “Just right.” – Yeah.
– Goldilocks. – Yes.
– When I heard that he dated you,
I feel like it was like, kind of a humble brag,
’cause I– as a millennial girl, I knew who Nikki Glaser was
and I was like, “Damn, okay.” He got with Nikki.”
– Oh, that’s so nice. – And then he’s like,
“Nikki probably hates you.” And I’m like, no, no, no,
Nikki wouldn’t hate me. Nikki doesn’t know me,
Nikki doesn’t hate me. – I didn’t hate you, I was just
extremely jealous of you because you got to be
what I didn’t get to be which is like, his girlfriend.
– Sitting on his couch in Astoria under a subway…
– Oh, I got to do that. – …watching TV
and having to raise the volume when the train goes by?
– (laughter) Yes! – And then just like,
stuck with Mike Vecchione while he’s taking a shit
for like two hours. – (laughter)
– And I’m like, w– how’s Philly?
– Honestly, it sounds great. – Did you wrestle in
high school? That’s cool. – Oh, you were talking to Mike
while Dan was shitting. Got it.
– I became obsessed with you before I knew you were the girl
in the picture that I was obsessed with,
the one picture that he posted of you one time. I mean, I’m sure he posted
a bunch but I stopped follow– – He actually didn’t really.
He kept me secret. – Yeah.
– ‘Cause he was protecting me from his crazy “Bonfire” fans. He was like,
“They’ll come at you.” I was like, okay.
– I dated a guy that did that too,
for six years. This was pre-Instagram though.
But he was always like, “My fans are nuts, I want you
to be protected from them.” I’m like, yeah,
that does make it easier for you to sleep with them.
– Yes. I mean, that was
the case there for sure. – Yeah. But not saying that
with this particular– – Yeah, but there was
one picture of Hannah that I saw from when Dan
went to go see Mike Vecchione do Fallon, and she was
in the picture. – Oh, yeah.
– And I was obsessed with how he was like, holding her.
I was like, oh, my God, he like,
loves her, I can tell. Like, the way he’s holding her
and like, the way she had her arm around h–
I was just like, I want that so bad.
Ugh, and I was thinking I wanted to be Dan.
– (laughter) – No, I’m just kidding.
But, no, I was just like, everything I had
wanted with him, I was like,
this girl got it. And you know like,
that jealousy you feel of like, what–
I didn’t hate you, I really didn’t because you
just looked like a nice girl, and like, who am I
to hate you? But I was jealous for sure. And, um, and then–
then I forgot about you. You guys broke up,
I became friends with Dan again,
forgot about you. And then I meet you backstage
at that show… – Yes.
– You were there? Anya was there too.
– Anya was there too, at this– whose show was that?
Mary Beth Barone? – Mm-hmm.
– Yeah, and you were a guest on it, and we just
had a fleeting moment. But I was like,
that girl’s awesome. Loved her.
– Yeah, I remember we walked out and
Nikki was like, “She’s great,
I like her so much.” – That’s so funny.
– And I didn’t know that you were Dan’s ex.
– ‘Cause I remember thinking like, oh, Nikki’s cool.
I don’t think she liked me,
but I think she’s cool. – Oh, no, I was like,
bowled over by you in that fleeting moment. And then I started
following you on Instagram and I was like, oh, my God,
she’s so funny and cool. And… and it wasn’t
until like, weeks later, I think I was talking about you
and they’re like, “That’s Dan’s ex.”
And I’m like, oh, that’s the girl
from the picture! It was like “The Girl
With the Pearl Earring.” I don’t know that book, but is there a moment
like that in that book? – I have to tell you
a funny secret. I, um– so once
we became buds, you announced your
Netflix special, and I was excited for her. I-I had a physical reaction,
I was like, yes! So I had to put a couple
fire emojis on your photo, ’cause that’s how
I express affection. Then Dan announced
his HBO special, and I put– like,
my mom sent it to me, and I was like,
okay, I’ll be nice. I like, put a fire emoji
under his. – ‘Cause that’s
how you express emotion. – He texts me and goes,
“Wow, so Nikki gets four fire emojis and I get one?”
And I was like, sorry. (laughter) So he’s aware, he knows
exactly what’s happening. – I know.
– He’s joking, but he’s not really joking.
– A– and I know he’s listening because he has Sirius
’cause he has a show on this. Dan, I promise you
I did not seek out your ex-girlfriend
to be friends with because of some kind
of punishment or retribution to you. I-I fell for her before
I knew she was your ex. And then once I found out,
I was like, well, we gotta bring this in…
– (laughter) – No, it just– well,
it does make sense that I would be drawn
to someone who I was i– I was romantic with and who
I got along with really well, and then he finds another girl
who he gets along with. Why wouldn’t–
– It all makes sense. – It’s also why like,
do you ever have a crush on a guy’s friend
that you’re seeing? – Yes.
– ‘Cause it’s like, he gets along with him,
you get along with him, you’d get along with his friend.
– Yes. – It all makes sense.
We’re all in a circle and we try each other out
romantically. – Mm-hmm.
– We haven’t yet, but like, we’ll see
what happens. – I mean, just–
– And then… – Tick tock.
– Give it some time. – I said I think Dan–
the only reason I met Dan was to bring me together
with Nikki. – Oh, that could be. – You said you got a lot
out of that breakup. – Oh, I did, I did. I learned so much
about myself. I was young, I was 25.
I had no job when I met him. He’s very like, “I don’t want
to date a comedian.” And I was this like,
raw, young like– – What were you doing…
– Nymphet? – …before you became–
– Just fucking a lot. – Where are you from?
What’s your history? – So I’m from
Brooklyn, New York originally, and I was just like,
a tennis player my whole life. I went to University
of Wisconsin where I played tennis.
– Division I? – Division I.
– Damn, girl. – Also, he loved the fact
that my dad grew up like, good friends
with Colin Quinn. – Right.
– So Colin Quinn’s brother Dave Quinn was the best man’s
at my dad’s wedding. – Oh, wow.
– Like, they grew up in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Dan loved that. He would like,
introduce me and be like, “Her dad knows Colin Quinn.”
I’m like, is that really what you like about me?
(laughter) – It’s so funny
the things guys latch onto. – I know, I’m like,
none of my friends know that. Literally noth– none of
my friends know that about me. – That’s the number-one thi–
– That’s the number-one thing he’d introduce me
and I was like, goddamnit. Um, and then I had–
I had hated my sales job, I did a marketing job,
and I was like, I was just manifested
like, I wanna do video. Like, whether it’s
sports broadcasting, or something in front
of a camera. And I quit my marketing job,
and got an unpaid internship at like, a sports company
editing videos. And then the company Betches,
they’re this like Instagram– – Oh, yeah.
– Was looking for a video producer with like
five years experience. My friend messaged me,
she was like, “Submit a funny video.” And I’m like, I don’t have
five years experience. And she’s like, “Just do it!”
– Yes. – So they called me in,
they liked my video, and they were like,
“You have shit experience.” But I had like,
all of these ideas. I was like, well, I can make
all these for you. – Yeah.
– And they were like, “Okay, we’ll pay you
$300 a week.” – Damn.
– Luckily I was living with my parents at the time. And, um, the videos
started to go viral and I like, honed my
comedy writing skills, and my video editing skills,
and my producing skills, my acting skills,
I was having so much fun. And that was like–
Dan was there when I got the job.
– Mmm. – And then he was inspiring
’cause I saw someone do what they love
and get paid for it. – And like how joyous
that could be. – I mea–
– What a great life that– and hard.
– And hard. Like, not every comedian’s obviously happy
with who they are. But the fact that he like,
created his own life of how he wanted to
was so inspiring to me. – Yeah.
– And then I got a call f– and then Dan and I broke up,
and he gave me like, an exciting purpose
after tennis. Like, I felt like a nobody.
I felt irrelevant. And tennis,
for my whole life, it was like, oh,
she’s a tennis player. I was like, ranked top
in the nation, I had sponsorships.
– Wow. – I was feelin’ myself. And then it just
disappears one day and you’re like,
how do I compete with people who’ve been doing comedy
their whole lives, or fashion their whole lives,
or marketing their whole lives? And then–
– Why did tennis disappear? – I was burned out.
– Okay. – I also like, dealt with
a lot of performance anxiety. And like, getting on the court,
it’s similar to standup as in every weekend
I travel, I play girls,
either win or lose, and then you have to
deal with that. And when you lose
you’re like, I’m the worst tennis player
that ever lived. And when you win, you don’t
even get a high anymore ’cause you’re like,
thank God I won. Um, but Dan– suddenly
I felt like, cool again. This like, successful guy
doing comedy. I didn’t even know
if I loved comedy yet. But I felt like–
– How’d you guys meet? – Dating app.
– Oh, yeah. – Like Hinge or something.
– What month? (laughter) – Um, okay, um…
– (Anya) What year? – I’m gonna say
like, November. – Yeah, okay.
Like, end of November? Beginning of November?
These are all… – It was like…
(murmuring) Was it November?
– Do you remember like, Thanksgiving like,
hanging out with him or talking to him
during Thanksgiving? – These ar– oh, my God,
I have the worst memory. Like, I don’t even
remember his birthday. Like, I’m really bad with dates.
– But November. It’s not– the timing’s
not good, Dan. – (laughter)
– The timing’s not good. I remember just
getting that text. You know, like, “Nikki,
I just don’t think “it’s gonna work out,
there are so many reasons why it can’t happen.” Um, none of which
he listed. – (laughter)
– “But there’s so many reasons why I don’t think
this is gonna work out.” I feel like he could’ve listed
one at that time. – One crucial reason.
– One was probably… (laughter) – That would’ve been
so helpful. So much better than letting
someone toil for a year. – “I met someone else”
is– you know, that’s not easy to hear,
but it would’ve been something. Because I just thought
it was like– – I think it was
November, December. ‘Cause I remember
we weren’t close enough that like, that holiday
there were no gifts exchanged. – Right, right, right.
– That first one. – You didn’t get him
a Thanksgiving gift. (laughter) – Here’s a turkey leg.
Um, yeah, yeah. – Okay, okay.
– Okay. – But maybe– okay,
well, we’ll talk off-air. – Yeah.
– But I love– I would love to figure out
the timing. It would just bring me
so much satisfaction to have some answers.
– I just need to pull out
my Google Calendar, and we’ll look at the dates.
– Yes! – I’m kind of a guy’s girl.
Like, I know all about sports. – Yes.
– And like, I have– I’m very close with
my dad and my brother. So I’m very comfortable
with men. Like, I love talking
to hot dudes. It’s like, my favorite hobby.
– Me too. – Making them feel
like they’re not hot. Don’t you love that?
– Oh, really? No, I’m like drooling.
– I’m just like, don’t touch me,
you’re gross. – What kinda guy
are you attracted to? – Um, just tall men. That’s my only–
that’s all I need. – How tall are you?
– I’m 5’7. – What was your– your thing
about do I like him or is he– you may have had a couple
that were so funny. – Yeah, do I like him or does he
just wear his hat backwards? Do I like him
or does his apartment just have exposed brick?
– (laughter) – ‘Cause I will fuck a dude
with exposed brick. I don’t give a shit.
Um, do I like him or is he just tall,
which is a big one. Do I like him, or did he just
laugh at one joke? – (laughter)
– One of my jokes and I’m like, he gets me!
– Oh, my God. When guys laugh at my jokes– I feel like guys don’t ever
laugh at my jokes. The guys I like.
– You’re hysterical. – But you know what I mean?
– Oh, yeah, they wanna be coy. – Because they think
every guy does that. – Did Dan laugh at your jokes?
– Hmm. You were telling o–
on the podcast about your ex who was– like,
you were at a party with a bunch of models,
can you tell that story? – Oh, yeah,
that was really funny. So my ex is this
big British man. Handsome, 6’6, tall.
Climbed him like a fucking tree. – Where did you meet him?
– Oh, my God, Hinge. – What the fuck?
– I’m like ove– I can’t do apps now that
I’m on “Summer House.” – I know, you’re too famous.
– Yeah, I’m way too famous. No, um, I’m not at all,
just I attract weird bros who are like, “Oh, man, my ex
used to watch that show.” – Right. You don’t want people
who know you from that. – Um, no.
– Yeah, gotcha. – I just like,
pee in hot tubs drunk. And they’re like,
“You’re fun.” – Yeah, you’re like, that’s–
– I was drunk. – They think that’s
the real you but it’s like, yeah,
it’s the reality show version. – Or also, I went on
a date with a guy recently and he was just like, “Yeah,
my friends love you on the show. Like, they said
I should kiss you.” And it was like,
early on in the date. And I was like,
I need to get out. So I go to this party with–
I also– I have this– yeah, I go to this
party with Dave. British Dave is his name.
He was on “Summer House.” – Oh, okay.
– And there’s all these like, really tall models,
and they’re Eng– like, they’re British.
And I was like, oh, go talk about, like,
your hometown with them. Like, go over there,
talk about British shit. Talk about like crumpets or whatever the fuck
you talk about. And after the party–
like, also it’s cool energy to be like, yeah,
I don’t care. Like, it’s hot to be like,
I’m like a little jealous, but kinda like that these girls
think you’re attractive. Like, I kinda like that.
– Yeah, I’m into that too. – Yeah, turns me on. And then–
are we into the same thing? – I think so.
Yeah, like, I like, I don’t get jealous,
I’m just like, if you wanna be with them,
be with them, but like, you don’t,
and the fact that they want you is so hot, and I get you?
– It’s so hot. – Have at it, ladies.
– So we were like, on the subway going back,
and I’m gonna do a really brutal British accent,
but he was like… (with British accent)
“So I was talking to the models “and like, whatever,
and I normally would be like, “‘Oh, they’re so hot like,
this is such a fun night.’ “And I look over,
and you’re manspreading “arguing with someone
on the couch. “And I was like,
why do I like her? And I don’t know,
but I do.” And I was like,
you see me. And then we broke up
because I got bored. But like, it was so cute
in that moment. – Yeah.
– Yes, yes, to l– – A British neg.
– A British neg, yes. A British negging.
Oh, I love negging. – Yeah.
– Ugh, it does work. – It’s terr- like,
men are very bad at it most of the time,
but as a g– oh, can I tell you
my secret to, um, to talking to hot men?
– To Tyler Cameron? – Yes.
– To getting Tyler Cameron to wanna have sex with me?
No, we didn’t get ther– that far, I planted a seed.
Why is my pho– – Planting a seed.
– In his prostate? – So this is– yes.
(laughter) Anya’s cracking me up right now.
Okay, so, let’s say you go into a bar
and you see a hot dude. – Okay.
– You do not just go to the hot dude. Also, I play the long game,
I’m strategic. I have nothing else
to do, you know? – You’re a tennis player,
you know what’s up. – Yeah, you’re not like,
there to listen to your friend talk about like, the same story
she talks about all the time. So– so you see the hot guy.
So you go by, and he’s gonna be
with a group of friends. You find like, the ugly,
approachable one, and you like, say some shit
about his shirt or something
and just hit it off with him. And you’re not like,
super flirty, but you’re just being fun.
You’re just like, I’m fun, I’m at the bar,
I’m making friends. And you talk with him,
and you ignore the hot guy. Ignore him.
– Yes. – So that was the first seed. Then, you know, you do
your thing at the bar, you see his ugly friend again–
and when I say ugly friend, I just mean he’s not my type.
– Or he’s not as attractive as– – Yeah, like, you’re not
nervous around him. – Yeah, yeah.
– You go by and you give him another like, you know,
little hand-point. Or like, you hit him,
what’s up, how you doing? Oh, this is my song–
just you’re planting seeds, ’cause if you see someone twice
at a bar then you’re friends. – Yeah.
– Like, the first– anyone can see someone once, once you’re at two,
you’re in with them. – You’re so right.
– Then finally you go up and you’re talking,
and this is the time. When you’re with the group
and you’re continually ignoring the hot guy,
in that moment, if he thinks you’re attractive
he’s either gonna be like, “Why isn’t she talking to me?” and he’s finally
gonna talk to you, or if he’s not into you
he won’t talk to you. – Okay.
– And in that moment, you don’t have to put yourself
out there at all. You’re just doing your thing,
you never get rejected. But like,
nine times out of ten, it’s easy to then get in
with him. – Okay, ignore the hot guy. – Do you make eye contact
in that moment? – Um, I don’t li– yeah. The third time,
make eye contact. – And smile?
– Because… – Yeah, yeah.
– Yeah, that’s about right. – Although, I will say
in the book we read… – Over and over.
– Over and over. She says don’t play that game
of being the girl that talks to the friend
that’s not threatening– – Oh, does she?
– Because you’re not being authentic,
and you’re not giving this guy who deserves your attention
that attention that he– – Right, I play games, sorry.
– I play so many games. – I play so many games.
And also like, I am being authentic ’cause
I do wanna talk to your friend. He’s probably fun.
I like talking to guys and meeting guys,
but I’m also showing that like, I’m not just
gaga over you. ‘Cause I am being authentic,
I don’t know you yet. So I’m not gonna try
to be flirty with you. – Right.
– That makes sense. – That’s– ugh, I love
ignoring a hot guy. – Oh, I love it.
– And then what happened? Did he talk to you?
The “Bachelor” guy? – Oh, the “Bachelor” guy.
– Let’s get back to Tyler Cameron.
– (laughter) Yes. – So you met, um,
Gigi Hadid’s ex-love interest, ex-“Bachelorette” contestant
Tyler Cameron, who is the hottest guy
on the show, that has maybe
ever been on the show– – People are saying hottest
in the world right now. – Hottest guy in the world.
I would say– I mean, when I saw him on the show,
and I didn’t get involved in that show until like,
the last couple episodes of Hannah’s season, I was
like, it’s him, Hannah! There’s like,
an Instagram story where I’m watching it
for the first time. – Isn’t he like, 24 also?
– Yeah, I think he’s really young,
but that’s fine. – He’s like a carpenter?
– He is so, so attractive. And, um– let’s look at him.
– (all) Oh, my God. – And his blue eyes.
– He looks like a Kennedy. – And he said all the right
things on that season, too. Like, he was just a nice guy.
– He was normal. – And she didn’t pick him, and it’s devastating
that she didn’t. But, you know, she–
she probably made the right call for herself,
but I mean, I would be regretting that
the rest of my life. Tell me how you met
Tyler Cameron. – So I– actually,
we’re gonna get along ’cause I don’t really
like drinking. Like, I’ll do it,
but I don’t like it. I don’t love socializing,
I have a cat, I live in Queens for a reason
’cause I don’t love people. And my friend Lindsay’s like,
“What are you doing tonight?” And I’m like, oh, my god,
I’m probably like– so much work, you know?
And she’s like, “I’m at a table
with Tyler Cameron.” Her boyf– Lindsay’s boyfriend–
Lindsay on “Summer House”– her boyfriend like,
is in the Tao Group industry. I don’t know what was happening,
but she was like, “I’m at a table
with Tyler Cameron.” And I was like,
“I’m Ubering. I’m Ubering.” So I get there,
and it’s very chill. Like, it’s where you’d
wanna meet Tyler Cameron. – (laughter)
– Like, no one– it was just like,
a kind of VIP situation where no one was
really in the bar, it was like,
kinda early to open. But like, they had a table,
and he was sitting with his high school friends
and two girls. One of whom who knew me from
Betches but went to college w– – Amazing, amazing.
You have status. Like, you walk in
and she’s freaking out, he sees it.
– Exa– so I walk in, and I’m– immediately panic
and play the card of like, I don’t know who he is. Like, as a New Yorker,
you just have to do that. So I’m just like,
and he’s like, he has this low…
(deep voice) “Tyler. Tyler.” (normal voice)
Like, very low voice. (whispers)
I think he’s dumb. Like, really dumb.
– Oh, I thought you said a dom. I was like, God, that’s so hot.
– I know, I love how tha– he probably is,
but he was– – Is a dumb dom?
– Yeah. – ‘Cause I love dumb dom.
– I love a dumb dom. We have to coin that.
– A dumb dumb dom? Yes, oh, my God, okay.
– #DumbDom. He’s very, um, he was quiet.
And I was like, I came in a little hot.
– He’s like, “Fuckin’ g– “I’m gonna tie you up,
but I don’t know how to do this knot.”
– (laughter) – “I’m gonna spank you
with this paddle, “but, um, on your right cheek?
Which one’s– let me– hold on, which one’s the left
which o–” A dom dumb. Dumb dom. Go on. – So I sit down,
and I’m just like, ignoring him, as I do,
and I’m talking to like, his annoying fucking friend
from high school. And they were so annoying.
But we were talking, we were having fun–
– Dude, this guy has been ignored by women
so many times with this game. It’s almost like everyone
probably does that to him. – Yeah! So then I–
Lindsay gets up to the bathroom and I like, had to scoot in
to sit next to him. I wasn’t originally there.
So I sit next to him, and the girl next to him– ’cause I can’t
talk to him still– went to school with him,
and she’s like, “Oh, I’m from New York City,
you’re from New York City?” And I was like, yeah,
I went to Beacon. She was like,
“Do you know this hot guy?” And she mentioned his name,
and I was like, oh, my god, he was
so hot in high school. She’s like, “Yeah, he has like,
four kids and is a DJ now.” And I’m like,
I see that for him. And then Tyler pops in
and he goes, “You guys just gonna talk
about this hot guy all the time” or som– like, he seemed–
– Oh, yeah, he didn’t like it? – He didn– ’cause I was just
talking about some hot guy. – ‘Cause he’s the hot guy.
– ‘Cause he’s the hot guy. So I grabbed his attention. And we were just chatting,
funny, I made him laugh. There was that one photo
that happened. I did like,
a secret Instastory where I wro– like,
it was me and Lindsay and I wrote “wait for it,”
and at the very end I just turned it to him,
’cause I really had to be cool about it.
– You had to, yes. – And I almost didn’t even
post that photo ’cause I’m like, what if we start dating?
Like, I can’t be that girl who like, posted a photo.
And my friend’s like, you’re not gonna date,
just post it. – (laughter)
– Well, no. It can totally still happen.
– We ended it like, he was like,
“Oh, you’re on a show.” And I was like,
yeah, reality TV. And then I’m like, shit,
I showed that I know who he is. So I was all over the place.
– (laughter) – No, I was like, reality TV!
And then he’s like… – You’re like,
“You’re a Scorpio, so you get it!
Damnit! – Damnit!
– I looked up his birth time. – I know!
– You’re Taurus rising– – I didn’t watch the season,
so I wasn’t like, that crazy– – Good. Oh, that’s great.
– I just knew I knew he was hot. – Yes.
– And then I heard a rumor– he went up to get a drink,
and someone was like, “Is he with Gigi?”
And they were like, “No, he’s having fun
in New York City.” So like, I knew that he was
single before the tabloids did. But I wouldn’t tell on him
’cause like, I care about him. – Wait, has there been a slide? – Um, no, I have not.
I have not. – No, has he slid?
– Into mine? – Yeah.
– Not yet. He’s playing games too,
you know? He’s playing a lot of games.
But he’s– I just love tall guys with blue eyes,
but he was very… (whispers)
He was boring. – Okay, yeah.
– He was really boring. – A lot of hot guys are.
– But I could– like, just being around him
I was having so much fun just being in his vicinity,
he didn’t have to do shit. – What was the last guy
you ended things with? What was your
last relationship like? – Well, right now,
I’m currently in a non-sexual
dating situation with this model,
hockey player who’s a purely sexual being,
and he won’t have sex with me. So I just– yeah.
– Why? – Great question.
Apparently he’s like, not over his ex and he
really cares about me. So he’s like,
“If we start having sex, we’re probably gonna date.” But he like, hits me up
every night to hang out and then we just
like, cuddle. – Oh, my God,
that sounds so good. – That sounds great.
– I– well, I know, but I’m putting it
on a pedestal. I don’t like being told
I can’t have something. And then I realize once
we have sex, I’m gonna be over it.
– Yeah. – But right now,
I’m just enjoying the attention. – When do you plan
on having sex? When does he– when’s he
gonna lift this embargo? – He’s kinda putting it on–
he’s– I know! He’s like– it’s kind of
a control thing, I feel like. – Yeah.
– He actually is apparently into BDSM,
which I’ve never done. – Yeah.
– And I’m scared of ’cause like, if I don’t like it, the night is gonna be
super awkward. And if I do,
the only way I can cum is like, with a gag ball
in my mouth getting spanked and tied up.
– No, no, you can still cum from other ways.
But like, it can be i– – Do you like being dominated?
– Yes, so much. – Do you want me
to introduce you to him? – No, he’s yours. – We have the same type
of guys, whatever. – We definitely do.
– So weird. (laughter) – You know what we should do,
is we should find a guy and we should hook up with him
together to ease into… – Yes!
– …our relationship. Would you ever do that?
– I would love to have two guys. Like, I’m an attention whore.
– Me too. – I would love that.
– Then you guys need four guys. – And I’d make them jealous,
I’d be playing mind games. I’ll ignore one and like,
not touch him for like, like ten minutes and be like,
you can’t touch me. And then like, go the other–
I don’t know, I’ve thought… – Okay, so let’s find a, um–
– Let’s do a foursome. – Let’s find four guys,
and we each get two, and we just like, high five
across the room. – I love that.
I mean, we can kiss. – Okay, okay, good, okay. But we don’t need
to go down on each other. I’m not ready to do that.
– No, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable in
any sense of the word. – God.
– I’ve never gone down, and I don’t wanna do bad.
– You’re the alpha. – I am?
– I just noticed that. – Really?
– Yeah. – She’s the one presenting–
– I know, but you’re– you have veto power,
you’re in control. – Oh, my God,
I’m so excited. Okay, let’s do this
and we’ll report back. – And we only
spank each other. (laughter)
– My ass is so disappointing, I don’t even want you
to see my butt. – She’s like your sous chef.
– You have the best butt ever. – You’re the alpha bitch–
– I only wanna be topless, and you can–
– Why?! Your tits are incred.
– I only wanna be topless. – Oh, I got it.
– Bottoms on. But yeah, we can spank
each other, make out– – What if you just wore
those underwear that have like, butt implants in them
the entire time? – I’m really
thinking about it. – Nikki with butt implants?
– Big briefs. Like, those underwear that
have butt padding in them. Wear those during
this sixsome. – Will do.
– Thank you. – Oh, it’s six now.
– Well, it’s four men and you guys, so that’s six.
– Four guys. (laughter) Is there a boy band?
An up and coming boy band that wants to–
how young will you go? – I don’t love young.
I’ll do like, 26. – We gotta go younger, Hannah.
– Really? – ‘Cause I feel like we gotta–
– Nikki, they’re so dumb. – Yeah, yeah, but this
is just a one-night thing. – I can do 24.
– (Anya) Yeah, Tyler’s 24. – As long as they’re big.
– Okay, okay. – I’ll take the little ones.
– I just like ’em huge. (laughter)