[Charles yawns] MARC! [Marc snores] [Charles]: WAKE UP! Ow! What’s your problem?! MY PROBLEM?! This place looks worse than Davy Jones’ Locker! Whaaaat? This is *organized* chaos. I know where everything is and where everything should be. Oh hey, Kevin! So that’s where you’ve been! This place was spotless yesterday just before Mom headed back home! Well this is *my* house so you’re gonna have to deal with it! [Marc’s stomach grumbles] Hmph… I’m quite famished from all this unnecessary banter that you and I have just conducted. For the love of Cod, please don’t talk like that. Ah, well, I need to find my fill for this insatiable appetite. Whatever will I do? You son of a squid. [Charles]: You know we have the same mom. Well, I guess I’ll be dining all alone. Eating some medium-rare tuna steaks, hearty salmon fillets, and moist crab cakes. [Marc]: Wait! [Marc]: Fine, I’ll clean up my room. No, not just your room. The whole. Fishing. House. Fine, but it’s not because of the food or anything. [Marc’s stomach growls] [Charles]: Sure, whatever you say, bro. So, about Kevin… When exactly did you get… …it? Actually, I dunno. [Marc]: One day, I just woke up and he was on top of me. So, I decided to keep him. [Charles]: Isn’t that kind of… unsanitary? [Marc]: Hey, don’t judge Kevin! He has dreams and ambitions too! Right? *gross* So, how was living in Inkopolis like? It was relaxing. Not too much stress and everything was pretty alright. Up until the Squid Sisters disappeared. What’s a squid sister? Wait, you seriously don’t know?! They’re, like, the greatest idols of all time! [Charles]: Their instrumentation uniquely defines the heart that each sister poured into every song. Passion and Pride can be metaphorically identified with each squid kid that listens to it! They’re especially well known for Calamari Inkantation and Maritime Memory! Wait a second, they’re not even sisters! Shhh… You don’t get it, Marc. They’re more than that. They’re musical geniuses who have been blessed by the Great Zapfish Itself. Oh——kay…. I’m fine with just listening to Off the Hook. Alright, I’m gonna go grab food now, I’ll be back in a bit! Gotcha, bro! Take your time! [Charles hums] I’m baa– [Marc]: Oh, hey! Welcome back! MARC!!!!!!!! [Marc]: You know it’s been, like, five months since the last episode, right? [Charles]: Really? I thought it was yesterday! [Marc]: No, it’s been five months. [Charles]: Wow, time sure does fly by fast… [Marc]: Anyway, if you wanna stay up to date, follow us on our social media! [Charles]: Watch more stuff on our YouTube channels! [Marc]: And we’ll see you in the next episode! [Both]: Peace! Later! [Marc]: Don’t die… [Charles]: Too late…
This shitty cartoon is not ‘made for kids’. Higuain is free! Oh dear… Ronaldo must score! Oh dear, oh dear… Surely this time! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… Ronaldo is getting subbed-off again! WHAT?! Bullshit! Seeing red! Bloody nose! FUMING! That’s two games in a row! I’m gone before the whistle blows… Subbed off?! It’s criminal! Ronny – I’d like to speak with you… WHAT?! People say you left early… TRUE! I’ll do what I want! So there! Siii! Then we… will sell you! WHAT?!
So you’re a tough guy?! You’re “don’t score enough guy”! I am Mr. Buff guy! Okay! That’s enough guys! No! He’s a shit striker! You’re a shit manager! You’re worse than Dybala! Well, you are cancer! What?! Metaphorically! Let’s face it… You’re a bad 9! Okay, it’s time for some team-building! Let’s go! Go on… He subbed me off twice! Even though…
I’m the loved guy! Won all kinds of stuff guy” I’m, Billy GOAT Gruff guy!
Look good in the buff guy! He’s just a bald guy! He’s “won sweet F.A-guy”!
Making me his fall-guy! And, put simply, that is why, come January,
I’m a Bayern guy”! Der Klassiker here I come! Yes! You idiot! We’ve just lost 462m Euros in shirt sales!
Last week, my baby boy arrived. Which made me question, who’s the Daddy? Because it’s certainly isn’t me. Can you guess the football daddy? I’m your son! Who the hell are you? Who’s the daddy? Oww! Baby bit me! And it really hurts! And it’s still hurting! Who’s the daddy? (Caveman Voice) (Laughing) Who’s the daddy? Happy birthday to me- Where is my birthday cake? I haven’t got one. Ahh, I don’t believe it. Who’s the daddy? Mehhh! Who’s The daddy? Who’s the daddy? WAHH WAHH WAAHHAAA HAHAHAHAH! Who’s the daddy?! Who’s the daddy? Haa! Aaa! Hoo! Who’s the daddy? (Sexy Moron..) OOO OO AHAHA! Who’s the daddy? Ohh, I can smell your wife’s c*ck! (Vomits) Ugh.. who’s the daddy? Oh my God! It’s hideous! Get it out of my sight! Get it out of my SIGHT!!!!!! Dada? Ahhh! Who’s the daddy? Quiz Answers! #1 Zlatan #2 Suarez #3 Costa #4 Yaya #5 Phil Jones #6 Fellani #7 Müller #8 Ozil #9 Giroud #10 Bale #11 Giggs And of course, #12 Cristiano Ronaldo. Thanks for watching! Subtitles by the Amara.org community
Come on… In you go… Aha! Come on… In you go… Yes! Driver! Commence Operation: Sell Pogba! I’m Gonna take this ass… Down the M6 road… I’m gonna ride… Til’ His ass is sold We’re gonna take this ass… Down the M6 road… We’re gonna ride… Til’ His ass is sold We’ve got the donkey in the back… The one who got me sacked! Virus! Bloody huge contract! Time for #pogback! Ride in on a horse! Ha! A stallion? Why so hoarse? Would you take an offer? Um… Of bloody course! Shoot! We would like to offer…£0 What?! You can’t offer £0! Well Paul bloody does! Fine, we’d like to offer something… Swap? Deal! You can’t sell him! Ow! It’s burning! No deal! His wages are a factor! He dances like a spacker! He’s more poisonous… Than Chernobyl’s 4th reactor! I would like a move please Check out his pink boobies! Check out his pink booties! Comes with some free groupies! Look! He shakes his booty! We would like to offer… £0 What?! Oh, come on! You can’t offer £0! Paul does! Agreed! Wait, I’d like to offer something… Swap? What?! Deal! I would rather be golfing! No deal! Going home… Up the M6 road… I’m gonna hide… Coz’ he isn’t sold! Ole Gunnar, take this ass… Round the inner ring road… No need to hide… ‘Coz The ass is sold! A Pleasure doing business with you! Let’s get outta here! Go Paul go! Pep? Why did you buy me? So that Alex Whiskey nose and Jose Moaninho couldn’t get the best out of you! If I can someone as awful as you to play well… Awful? It will prove once and for all… That I am the best manager the world has ever seen! I did it once with Raheem loves sterling… And I’ll do it again! Yesss! Step 1: Stop the terrible dancing… Who do you think you are? Jesse lingard? Subtitles by the Amara.org community
Welcome to draw my life with me,
Lionel Messigician And as Ron Burgundy once said:
“I’m kind of a big deal” Nice play on words!
Go away, Cristiano… I was born on June 24th, 1987
My dad was a steel worker …And my mom was a part-time Cleaner Hiii-HOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh, go away, Cristiano! I was born in Rosario, Argentina I joined the Newell’s Old Boys
at the age of 6 I did okay, I guess… Scoring nearly 500 GOALS! We were nicknamed the
“Machine of ’87” At 11, I was diagnosed with “GHD”
Haha! Not “ghd’s” I meant “Growth Hormone Deficiency” really Hey! I didn’t give you permission to use
my image! …You’ll be hearing from my
LAWYEEEERS! I took hormone supplements
like Cristiano, my dad didn’t have… A problem getting outside help to
grow his son …You’ll be hearing from my
LAWYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS! …But hormones were expensive!
through luckily Barcelona watched a video of me Juggling oranges and tennis-balls
And I was invited for a try. They’ve offered me a contract
on a napkin as there was no paper …Let me type this up I was a Barça player.
I’ve made my Barça debut on October 16 ’04 Against El Espanyol.
I was the 2nd youngest Barça debutant ever 7 and a half months later…
I’ve scored my first goal By the way…
My goal celebration is a tribute to my grandma …Who took me to training and matches
as a child. In 2004, I turned down a chance to play
for the Spain’s Number #20 Just think. I maybe could be as bad…
I-I-I mean as good as Torres My debut for Argentina could’ve got better I was sent off 44 seconds after coming on
as a substitute! After that by start I’ve became the youngest
Argentinian to play and score …In the World Cup.
I was nicknamed “Messidonna” …And even scored a goal featuring
a “Maradonna” against Espanyol in 2007 And then I became kind of a”Big Deal”
winning all kinds of trophies… 7 La Liga’s, 4 Champions league
3 Copas Del Rey, 3 UEFA’s super cups 3 FIFA’s World Club Cups …And 5 gooolden things! …Did you hear me Cristiano?
I’ve said 5! And one day you’ll hopefully win something
with your country club. …Says you. What’s next?
Who Knows But it’s going to include lots of medals
and a Bucket-load of records! Subtitles by the Amara.org community
Every Premier League Manager Reacts! Matchday 12! That mistake from Buendia was a nursery mistake! So as a punishment… …from now on I’m going to make him train in a nappy! We beat them away! We beat them away! How BLEEP must they be? We beat them away! Pulisic scores again! What a player. He’s the most lethal attacker from America since Ted Bundy. Zaha completely disappeared today! The last time I saw a willy disappear that quickly was when I went skinny dipping in the North Sea. We were right back on it today! The intensity was immense! Though I hope none of the lads get pulled for a random drugs test Just before kick-off I made them all have three cans of monster energy drink and a line of speed… Holy ballbags! My goalie is so bad I’m even considering a January loan move for Loris Karius. The king is dead. Long live the king! That result hurts. I mean REALLY hurts! Even more than having a swab down your japseye. Well, it was close, but unlike my prediction, we DIDN’T draw 1-1 this week. I’m a man of my word At least we have Arsenal next. If we don’t beat them… I’ll eat my anus! We are staying up say we are staying up! I’m not getting sacked! Say I’m not getting sacked! I’m furious! We really should have stopped their equaliser! Where was our defence with the block? And where was Heung Min Son with the dislocated ankle inducing tackle? Crap! BEEP VAR! BEEP VAR! BEEP VAR! It was nice to beat a team like Arsenal – but next up we’ve got a much, much harder game. Against Brighton. LOL Good ebening. Good evening, Unai. How do you respond to the Leicester fans who were singing Sacked in the Ebening? Well they can, in the words of Granit Xhaka… BLEEP off. Just like I will be BLEEPING off in the international break. It’s time to go! Adama Traore. What a performance! That’s Exactly what I want to see from him. But only every 4 or 5 games. I don’t want any of the big clubs trying to sign him now do I? Dean, sum up that performance In a word… Poop Ole, after that fine win, do you think you’ll finish in the top… Four?! Absolutely. Coz Ole’s at the wheel! I was going to say top half WHAT?! There’s no shame in losing to Man Utd. Really? NO!!! There’s lots of shame in it! So much shame!!!! Pep, when you said thank you so much to the referee and linesman at the final whistle were you being sarcastic? No, not at all. And may I say, what a superb question that is. You really are an incredible journalist. The Pulitzer Prize, here you come! Three cheers for this man! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! For he’s a jolly good fellow, for… 26 straight wins to go!!!! Jaaaaa!!!
Let’s make this quick. Don’t worry, It’ll be over in a “Flash”. Get it? Because that’s my name, I’m the
Flash? Look Flash, just try to keep up alright. I Am the fastest man alive, after all. That’s hilarious. Mother [email protected]#$% What? You didn’t see that… Oh I’m sorry. You were saying? Well, I guess you were right. It was over
in a “Flash” I’d love stay and chat, but I’ve gotta