♪ One fine day
Pa on the fiddle ♪♪ Ma on the porch
Me in the middle ♪♪ Boys out back
Fish in the river ♪♪ Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver ♪[alarm clock goes off]♪ One fine day
Pa on the fiddle ♪♪ Ma on the porch
Me in the middle ♪♪ Boys out back
Fish in the river ♪♪ Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver ♪♪ One fine day
Pa on the fiddle ♪♪ Singing a song
A laugh is a riddle ♪♪ Goes too fast
Goes too far ♪♪ Never look back
Don’t think where you are ♪[alarm clock goes off]♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪[alarm goes off]♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪Shit.
Owen. Pink’s plane landed
five minutes ago. Mm. You were supposed
to wake me up. What are you doing? You’re going to be late
for your first day
at the Dirty Club. Derby Club. What did you say?
You’re mumbling. Derby Club. Oh, whatever. Have you seen that place?
I bet they don’t even have
indoor courts, do they? Do they, Owen? Owen, I’m talking
to you. Owen! Ouch. Ouch.
What are you doing? Well, if you’d listen. “Former tennis star
in theCourier.”Lofty, Owen, lofty. Robert Frost
played tennis. Owen, baby,
you are good
at two things. Poetry isn’t one of them. Pink’s out
of town again
on the 27th. See you
in a few weeks.♪ I took
A little ride ♪♪ On the subway ♪♪ Opened my eyes ♪♪ I make a poor boy shiver ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪♪ Easy ♪(man)
Ice?Straight up. Ah.
Owen. What happened to you? You used to whip
my ass at everything.Juniors, the tour.
Now you can’t even
work for me.Charles, I just came by
to get my check and clean
out my locker, so…You were the best.Sponsors, fans.
Charisma.But you just couldn’t
stay away from the bookies,
could you, Owen?So you going to mail me
a check or are we going to have
some sort of a transaction? Sleeping with
the members’ wives. The towel girl.Giving lessons
outside the club.And then there was
that incident with
the Pee Wees last month.Trevor started it.He is seven.You called him
a jackwipe.He is a jackwipe.You leave me
no choice here.I’m afraid
I’m going to have
to let you go.You already fired me
Monday, Charles, okay? Am I going to get
my damn check
or not? I gave you a chance, and you pissed it
all away. The Dew was flat. I bought it yesterday. Got a bad one, Chuck. Heard you took a job
at the Derby Club. Such a sad fall
for Mr. Match. It’s game set. Excuse me? You remember. Game set match. (man)
Oh, how the mighty
have fallen. It is a very,
very sad day. Have fun
at the Dirty Club. Eat my balls, boys. Hey. It’s on, Match.
It’s so oh. It’s game set. You’re Owen Match.Yeah, that’s me.
Who are you?I’m Jake. Hey, Jake.
Do you know Sherry? Yeah.
She’s the manager. Right, she’s the one
that hired me, but I’ve only
talked to her on the phone. What happened
to your nose? Oh, high heel pump.Jake, have you heard
from Turner?No. Find him. You’re late.You must be Sherry.I don’t like tardiness. What do you
like, Sherry? I like people
who show up to work
on time, Owen. Could you call me Game? Do you know how
to read a court sheet? Yeah, yeah,
I am skilled at the art
of court sheet reading. Good. This shows you
who’s on the court
for the entire day. Clinics, lessons, walk-ons,
per minute court times. You fill out your lessons
in the pro book, and Jake will put them
on the court sheet. If your name’s
on the court sheet– Owen.
If your name’s
on the court sheet, your butt’s
on the court,
you got it? Yeah. Court sheet,
Got it. You’re not going to get
some fountain club-type
in here. Just the basics and then
you will learn the system
as you go. Jake here
will give you
a quick tour, and then I expect you
to dive right in. Any luck? Straight
to voice mail. Keep trying. And when you do find him,
tell him to not bother
coming in tomorrow. Damn. You should see her
when she gets out
of bed in the morning. [laughs] Dude. She’s my mom. My bad. Is she serious
that guy Turner? She like fired him
like six times
already. I got fired twice
this week.She’s got four
full-time pros.You’ll be
number five. Uh, that’s Roman. He’s from Boston. Teaches at least
70 hours a week. Came down with a case
of dead arm a couple
of months back. I had a buddy
have that once.
Yikes. He’s been playing
with his wrong arm
ever since.He can beat that thing
against the wall
and not feel a thing.Everyone calls him
Dead Arm. That’s Billy.
Goes by Lingo. Been here
a few years. Seems like
a lot longer. You got to aim higher
if you’re going to be
a fuzzy baller. Raging ADHD. Non-funny.And that’s Carlos.He’s been here
a few months now. He came from somewhere
out East. Claims to have worked
with Nadal and Brad Leaver.[talking in Spanish]What he say? Hell if I know. What’s up, man?Blood sucker.
I’ll show you
the locker room. Hey, gents.This is the staff
locker room.Don’t mind the smell. [grunting] Owen Match. Coach. [laughing]
Get over here, bubby. Ah. Oh. You haven’t been
avoiding me, have you? Sit down there.
Let me take a look
at you. Sit down,
sit down. Wow. I got to head back
to the shed. Ah, bubby. Got to say,
you look like death
taking a shit. Get my back, would you?
My arthritis is really
flaring up again. I thought you took
a job across
the river. Yeah. I came back about
three months ago, and was able
to sweet talk Sherry
into this part time deal. Thanks. Yeah, what’s
the deal with her? Sherry?
Oh, boy. She’ll bite your balls off
and serve them at tea. That ass
is tight though, huh?
Tight as a drum. Check that out?
I know you did, boy. Probably got harder
than Chinese algebra. Of course you can’t say
stuff like that anymore. Now you got to be
You can’t compliment a woman. You used to get your face
slapped. Now you get slapped
with a lawsuit. Know what
I’m talking about? I didn’t know
he worked here.Part time.
How did you
know Coach?He was my coach
for like ten years.
Pee Wee’s through High School. Cool.No, not cool.
It’s not cool at all.That man almost put me
on blood pressure
medication. I don’t think this
is going to work, man. Hold on a minute. Derby C.
This is Jake.(Turner)
Yo, Jake.Turner, where are you?Yeah, brother, I don’t think
I’ll be able to make it
in today.Who’s my 10:00? Uh, it’s…Emily.Yeah, that ain’t
going to happen.What do I tell
my mom?Tell her–Tell her
I’m coming down
with something.Okay, but–Look, Jake–Shit.Hi, Jake.I’m here
for my 10:00
with Turner.Who? Emily.Hi, Sherry.Let me guess.
Turner. Emily, why
don’t go and warm up
on court three? Okay.
See you later, Jake. I’ll see–Sherry, we need to talk.Yeah, that’s going
to have to wait.Right now,
I really need you
to make yourself useful and go hit with that girl
that Turner just blew off.
You okay? Ye-yeah.Good, come introduce me
to your girlfriend.She’s not
my girlfriend. You want her to be? Emily. Hay, Jake. Hey, Emily.
I’m Owen. I’ll be subbing
for Turner today. So, uh, let’s see
what you got. Jesus.All right, okay.
Ease up.You want to get
your racket backbefore it even
You’re rushing it. Here we go.
Here you go again. Ooh, okay. All right, loosen up
with your grip.All right?
Loosen your grip.Oh. My insurance
kicked in, yet? You sure
you don’t want to go
to the hospital? I got some quaaludes
in my bag. Just keep it iced. You’ll be fine. You’ll feel better
tomorrow. Yeah, listen, Sherry, about tomorrow, um– Look, I really
appreciate this job
and all but, um– Don’t thank me.
Thank Coach. He’s the one
I call you. Coach? Yeah, against my better
judgment I might add. What? It’s all over town
why you got fired
from the Fountain Club. Hold on there.
Coach told you
to hire me? Yeah, we lost a pro
a couple of weeks ago,
so you got lucky. You think you can
finish out the day? Yeah, oh, yeah.
I’ll be fine. Okay.
Next to the wall.It’s for the bulletin board.Oh, that’s a winner.[playingDo We Need More]What’s up, Jake?
Hey, nice jacket. It’s Emily’s.
She left it yesterday. She’s coming down
to pick it up. Oh, cool.
So you talked to her. No, her mom
called my mom,
you know. Dude, what are you doing?
You had the perfect
opportunity. You could’ve
talked to her. And said what? Said, “Hey,
you want to go
see a movie sometime?” Maybe she doesn’t
like movies. Everybody likes
Check it out. Hey, Sherry, how about
you and I go check out
a movie tonight? Get on the court, Owen. See? You just
hit on my mom. Yeah, that’s, uh,
that’s what I do.Here she comes.Cool.Ask her, ask her
to check some balls
with you.What? Play tennis. I don’t play tennis.Hi, Jake.Well– Thanks. Hey, Owen. Hey. I’ll see you later. Smooth, brother.
Silky smooth. No more cancellations
without erasing it
on the court sheet, okay? Lingo, we lost
three hours of court
time last week.No more cell
phones on the court.
It’s unprofessional.Oh, look, everybody,
it’s Turner. I know that guy. What, tournament? Strip club.Thank you
for joining us.Guys, we have got
to get here on time.All right, well, I think
Any questions? Good questions? Yeah, sure,
I got some. Uh, we just got
the annual invite
to the BCCC? The what?Boat Club
Combo Cup.They want to know
by tomorrow if we’re
in or out. Okay, next. Thought you all
should know. All right,
well, if that’s
everything then– Whoa, whoa, whoa,
back the truck up. Why don’t you guys
play in the Combo Cup?[Turner laughing]
Combo Cup?You mean you enjoy
getting your ass kicked? What’s the point
of having a team
if you don’t compete? What team?Okay, everybody,
get on the court.
Let’s go.Good idea. Hey, Match. Turner.
I’ve been following you
for years, man. You’re the reason
I picked up a racket. Thanks, man. Yeah, man, I saw
how much tail
you were getting. I was like
I got to do that. You’re the man.Hey, Match,
who you got?I got a Belcher
at ten. [laughing] O.C.D.What kind
of name is O.C.D?You’ll see.
He’ll be here
in a minute.He always comes in
four minutes late.Good luck.Hey, you must be Scott.Scott Emerson Belcher. Nice to meet you. Owen Match.[shouts]Oh, no. What’s wrong?Shoe’s untied.You want me
to tie it for you?Huh, no,
it won’t work.[cell phone ringing]What do you want,
to fire me again, Charles?And deprive that hot
little manager of yours
the pleasure?Don’t you have a knob
to polish or something,
Chuck?Don’t you worry.
All my knobs
are polished.What?Me and the guys
were thinking,now that
you’re settled in
to the Dirty Club,might be time
for a good old fashion
if you think
you can handle it.Hello?Where and when? Oriental House,
high noon. It’s on.Hey, Turner.
Fountain Club just called and
challenged us to a throw-down.You think
any of these guys
will be up for it? I got this. Hey, hey,
do me a favor. Don’t tell Coach.Don’t worry
about it, brother.How we doing?Turner, are you hungry? I’m always hungry. Dead Arm,
what is this,
a rodeo? TBD, dude, TBD. You think they’ll show? I’ll bet
they don’t show. Why are you
so quiet, Charles? I don’t know, Dina. Can’t quite put
my finger on it. When I’m so jacked up,
I don’t know, I swear I could eat shit
out of these two tennis balls
right here. I bet you could,
too, Charles. You know? Just try to beat
those sons of bitches. Oh, it’s on. So on. It’s not too late
to pull out.It’s not what
your mom said
last night.On New Year. Look, Match.You’re going
to fire me again, Charles?
You fired me twice.One more time, and I’m going
to start thinking you’ve got
a non-sexual man crush on me.(Dina)
Hell, yeah.It’s on. It’s on. It’s so on. It’s so on. Mu Shu tofu. I’ll take it. Fried rice. Chicken on a stick. Hard boiled eggs. Beets.
What– Man. Beets? Go. [belching] [no audible dialog][bell dinging]One, Derby Club.[bell dinging][bell dinging][bell dinging]Tie two-two.Where is everybody? Owen said something
about a throw-down
with the Fountain Club. Throw-down? I think
it’s some sort of– Yeah, I know what
a damn throw-down is.
I practically invented it. Why didn’t
anybody tell me?Atta boy, Charles.(Turner)
It’s all you, brother.You got it.Yes.(Dina)
Oh, you got him
now, Charles.Come on.
It’s up to you, Owen.Come on, man.You can’t do it, can you?Don’t listen
to him, brother.You can’t.You got this.
Eat it.Come on.You can’t do it,
can you?Fountain Club, winner.Yes. Oh, man. Well, well, well.
The tie. Have fun. We’ll see about that
at Combo Cup.Say that again?Combo Cup.You can’t be serious. Oh, I’m serious. Oh, shit.(Dina)
Oh, hell, yeah.Well, then. I guess it’s on. It’s on.Oh, it’s on.(Roman)
Dude, you all right?(Turner)
Dude, did you try
to lay a deuce? Lingo can’t have
a BM and a PR. Let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go, let’s go.[ignition faltering]Oh. What were you thinking
in there, man? Combo Cup? I was emotional. Be real, dude.
Man, we can’t even win
an eating contest. Coach is on his way. You called Coach? He’s in a bad mood, too. (all)
Taxi, taxi. Get in the van. I think Lingo
might puke. Carlos, hit the window. Now open. What’s up
with the coach, Coach? You kiss my fat
mushy ass, Turner.[Lingo groaning]Dude, I think
Stop the car.
Stop the car.Coach, I think
you better stop the car. Oh, no, no.
I got a lesson
in 20 minutes. No, seriously,
I haven’t been late
for a lesson in 30 years. You guys just don’t take
the profession seriously.(Turner)
Oh, my God.
Oh, no. Oh, no.[all shouting] Open the door. Oh. [laughing] You guys
don’t look too good. I just ate
47 chickens on a stick.
What do you expect? And you lost? My op had 50.
End of story.What’s up with that?Judge Simms pays him
six an hour to ball boy
for him. Calls him chips
and queso. That’s wrong. Yeah, no kidding. Well, O.C.D
is not so bad. Could pair him
with one of us
in the pro-am match. What? The Combo Cup.
There’s a pro and
amateur’s double match. Owen, Combo Cup
isn’t happening, okay? At least not
for us anyway. The idea is– We can’t back out now. Of course we can. No. That’s just what Charles
expects me to do. Hey, Lingo, is it true
that you, uh, deuced
in your pants? Fried rice just went
right through me. Next time
Oh, dude, get that
away from me.Hey, Coach.
Do you mind?Ah. BBC.My grandma
drinks BBC.Hm, it’s nice. Sherry said that
it was your idea
to hire me. Look at the thanks I get. How many Chinese buffets
did we hit back in the day? A lot. Mm-hm. You know
I like eating me
some Chinese, bubby. This isn’t about
the throw-down, Coach. We both know that. Yeah. Ten years. We were
a team, bubby.
Ten years. You dropped me
for Jefferson Bates. Jackwipe. Coach, you can’t
take it personally.
I just needed a change. Jefferson Bates,
the man’s a walking dildo. You made me
so nervous. Nervous means
it matters. I had nightmares
about you, Coach, okay? Me, too. You did? What are we
talking about here? I wanted
to quit, Coach.
Every day. But you didn’t. Because you
wouldn’t let me. Oh, I didn’t make you.
You showed up on
your own, bubby. Do me a favor
and not call me bubby. What am I supposed
to call you?
Game Set? I’d settle for Owen. Are you living
in your van, Coach? Don’t judge me. It’s temporary. [grunts] Thought you
didn’t play tennis. I don’t.
I suck. Let me see you
serve another one. Hey, your grip is good. Yeah, I switched it. I haven’t been able
to hit straight since. Yeah, well,
that’s normal. How long ago
did you switch it? A few years ago.
Is that normal? No. No, Jake,
that’s not normal. My dad told me if I ever
wanted a real serve,
I should switch it. He’s a pro? In Orlando. Serve another one. Not like that. Look, first of all
your stance is way
too open. There you go. In for the net post.
Do it again. No, it’s not
going to work. What are you doing, Owen? I’m evaluating
your serve. Can you at least
let me hit the ball? Yes. All my serves
go over there. Well, okay.
Watch me. See?I can’t do that.Look, you don’t
even need this. Watch me.Got to get extended.Okay, Jake,
let’s go. Got to go. All right, see you.
I’ll pick them up. I’ll meet you
at the car. Goodnight, Owen.See you.What are you doing? Helping Jake
with his serve.Why?Have you seen it? I mean, why are you
fixing Jake’s serve?
Did he ask you to? No. It’s what I do.
There a problem? No.
I guess not. Goodnight. You know,
I’m on to you. On to me?Yeah, I mean,
your only kid’s
spiraling out of controland you last shot
of getting him backjust to lure some poor
innocent unemployed but
striking tennis prointo helping him? No, I’m not
your pawn, lady. I’m not your pawn. You’re as nuts
as Coach. Goodnight, Owen.[playingLife,
Love and Pain]Come on
get after it, buddy.Let’s go, Match,
get the lead out. Ooh.
Sorry about that. About what? Never mind. Nice whites. Oh, thanks. Dude still got
some game. Dead Arm said
he lost 50 grand
betting against himself.Try 100.What? Wow. Lost his sponsors,
everything.Water break.He’s good. He’s lazy,
but he’s good. Hell, yeah,
he’s good. A guy like Match
ain’t going to be
around for long. Fellas, this is our
one chance to be good
again. I don’t know
about you all,
but I’m taking that chance. If we ever have a shot
at Combo Cup, it’s now. Don’t tell me you think
this is a good idea. Seriously.
I deuced my shorts
because of that, dude. Yeah, don’t forget
he’s the reason
we lost. Hey, vamp.
You suck any
blood last night? You guys are little
short to be playing
stormtroopers. Yes, stormtroopers,
they fight with blasters,
D-bag.You like that?Yeah, you like it?Afterbirth.
Get out of here. Hey, Jake. Leave me alone. Jake. Are you ready
to go again? No, I’m done.Come on,
you only hit
12 balls, man.Charles hits 12 balls
before he falls out
of bed in the morning. Twelve balls. I guarantee you Charles
is going to hit more
than 12 balls. Hand, racket, now. I’m, uh, I’m done
for the day, Coach. You were done
a long time before today. Kiss my ass. What was that, bubby? I said let’s hit
some balls, Coach. Baby, I got
to let you go. Something about
to go down
up in here. Twenty-one patterns
till you puke.Come on, run, Owen.
Move your ass.
Move it.That’s the best
you got? Don’t run a lot.
I don’t like to–
I don’t like to run. Come on.Hello.
My name is Owen.And I hit the ball
like a little girl.Come on, child, run.Come on, bubby. Oh. Jesus wept. Coach killed him. Oh, geez. (Turner)
Oh, hell, no. [shouting] That was awesome. What’s up, Jake? Heard you made out
with Coach. Yeah, I’ve still got that
icky Dew sweaty taste
in my mouth. It’s gross.
Want to hit
some balls? You didn’t need
to do that this morning. You need
to learn to stick up
for yourself, man. I don’t need
a bodyguard. Okay.
I’m sorry. But what you do need, you need to smear
on the court. I can’t play
if I can’t serve. I can teach you
how to serve. Well, if you let me.I know it seems weird.What do you have to lose?
Who cares what you look like? Forget about what
you look like, okay?
Just try it. Look, Coach was sucking
my face this afternoon.
How stupid you can look? Try it. It’s still weird. Oh! Just– [laughing] You just sounded
like Coach. Jake, will you do me
a favor, please?
Will you just try? You got the craziest
curve on your serve I’ve ever seen
in the history
of the sport. Just try it. Desperate times. Thank you. It’s weird. It worked. Oh, my God. See? See?
Do it again.
Do it again. [laughing] It worked. [laughing] [laughing][playingBird Song]Ooh, let’s see,
it’s 8:45.Owen is either late
for 8:30 or early
for his 9:00.If you were late, you’d be
walking around with my shoe
up your ass.Oh, so you’re good
with your feet, huh? You need
something, Owen? You know,
I fixed Jake’s serve.
Did he tell you? No, Jake
doesn’t tell me anything.
You know how teenagers are. Because I act like one?You said it,
not me.He’s improved a lot.He just needs
more self-confidence.He has seemed
different lately. Well, I have
that effect on people.I’ve noticed.Really? Yeah, I saw Dead Arm
wearing tennis weights, and Turner actually
showed up today
on time.Maybe you’ve just been
in their Dews.Ooh, we don’t,
we don’t touch
each other’s Dews. Well, whatever it is,
keep it up. You know what?
I think you’re
right, Sherry. We should
discuss this further. Say Friday, 8:00?What? No.Dinner. Owen, you’re not
taking me to dinner. Oh, see, I was,
I was thinking that you
would take me to dinner. What? No. Okay, fine,
I’ll take you to dinner. No.Why not?Because you’re
a tennis pro. Okay, fine, look,
I’ll-I’ll quit tennis. I’ll be a male model. How about
we call it a meeting? Okay, will there be food
at this meeting? There will be dinner,
but I will buy mine
and you will buy yours. Sweet.A meeting, Owen.Got you.
A meeting. ‘Cause you know what?
I don’t date club
managers. Oh, tic-tic-tic.
My bad.My bad.
Sorry.What are you doing?Trying to get a ball
in your kitchen.You see,
tennis player is a losing
tennis player.Don’t worry about
what I do.Don’t let me up
in that kitchen.[humming]Ah.Wow. Exactly. Hey. Did you really bet
100 grand against
yourself? Who told you that?Mom.Yeah.Yeah, yeah, I did.And I went on
to win the match, if you can believe that. Why didn’t you just
throw the game? ‘Cause I was treeing.Treeing?Yeah. It’s when you, uh, it’s when
you can’t lose,
you know. You play the game
of your life.I couldn’t lose
even if I tried.That’s stupid. Yeah, it is.
It is really,
really stupid. How about
we hit the showers? Got a date
with your mom tonight. Mom says
it’s a meeting. Well, she knows
what it is.You have no idea
what I’m up against.Memberships down,
I’ve got 40 directors
breathing down my neck. When Fountain Club won
Combo Cup last year,
membership doubled. And last month– Doubled? In a month. Last month we had
to fix the net
with duct tape. Duct tape is strong.All the other teams
they’re going to have
uniforms.Who cares about uniforms?You cares
about any of it?They do.
I do.We need this.
And I think
you do, too.Me?Mm-hm. Don’t you like
the wind? I don’t even remember
what that feels like. Thank you.
I got it.No.I got it.Oh, okay, well.Look, you bought me dinner.
The least you can do is
come by my place. Owen.I make
a mean cappuccino.No.All right.What, you’re not used
to anybody rejecting you?Actually, this feels
pretty nice.Thank you.I’ll write it off.
It’s a business meeting. No, I mean,
for hiring me. I, uh, I didn’t know
where I was going to go. Everybody gets
a second serve. Okay. Okay, uh,
to come back
to my place? No. Okay, the Combo Cup.Awesome.I’m already
regretting this. And I want Jake
to play. Jake.
But does he
even know this? No. I’ve been waiting
for the right time
to ask him. Okay, but just
don’t wait too long
’cause he,he has a history
of quitting things
and–I think this actually,
this could be really
great for him. Do I have permission
to break his legs if
he tries to back out? You get one,
I get the other.(Owen)
All right, guys,
listen up.If we’re going to have
a chance of beating
Fountain Club, we really
got to get serious
about Combo Cup, okay? Got to start practicing,
especially me. This year
has five divisions, and I already have
an idea who I want to put
in the junior mixed doubles. I got that.
and Ray-Ray. No, those jackwipes suck.
I got this, okay? Just let me
figure that out. All right, next we got
the tag team triples. What the hell’s that? A menage a trois? Three way. Pervs.That’s three pros,
one match tagging
in and out.Oh, kind
of like WWF.Exactly like WWF,
only it’s totally
different.Okay, uh, me, airhead,
and Spanish fly here
That’s awesome. Next we got
doubles pro-amats. That’s one of us pros
with an amateur. Dead Arm, I want you
on the court with O.C.D. Yeah, but my arm. Who’s O.C.D? That arm didn’t keep you
from kicking their ass
at the throw-down, right?I’m more worried
about O.C.D. who’s
got issues.No offense. Wait, I’m O.C.D.? Awesome.I’m not so sure
about this year
is the wild card division.It’s a women’s
team match.Anything?Dematti girls. Oh, shit, yeah.
Yeah, yes. Who are
the Dematti girls? They’re dancers.
They’re hot as hell. Dancers, like ballet?Like exotic.The Shivers. They’ve got a team.Are they any good?At tennis? Oh, I say
we pay them
a visit. I’ll drive. Coach, Coach,
hold on. I got this.What about you, Owen?I think we all know
who I’ll be up against.[cell phone ringing][voice from TV]Charles here.Chuck, it’s me.Oh, the chicken choker. Cut the shit.
We’re on for the BCCC. The what?The Combo Cup, dick.Wow.
Looks like your third
testicle finally dropped.I’m not the one
with three testicles,
Charles.You’d have the– Listen, it’s you
and me on the clay.Oh, it’s on, Match.Game set!You’d better bring
your purse. Double make
or game set. That’s good.
Here we go. Yeah.
There you go.[chuckling]
Wow, looks like you’re ready
for a little competition.What do you mean? I mean it’s time
for you and Emily
take on these two jackwipes. T-Cubed and Ray-Ray. Emily? She won’t play
on my team. Yeah, yeah.
She said she loved to
when I asked her. You asked her? Why would you do that? Because I need you two
to be ready for Combo Cup. Oh, Combo Cup. No. Jake, come on, you need
to let your balls drop. You know, that’s easy
for you to say since
you’re a pro. Look, not all
are good players. Turn around. I’d be too nervous
to play. Okay, I get that.
I totally get that. Okay, I’m going
to tell you a little
secret. I knew
you were gay. What? Not– It’s funny. I–look, I write poetry. But and you think
you’re straight. I’m serious.
I write– I write
a lot of poetry. No way. Yeah, and I’ve always
been, been too nervous
to show anybody. Okay, but what does this
have to do with anything? Jake, it has everything
to do with everything. It has to do with you
not being a turtle
anymore. I don’t know, Owen. Jake, Jake,
Jake, Jake, Jake. Hey. You can do this. Really? Poetry? Don’t tell
anybody that. I won’t,
I won’t. At least I don’t dress
like a vampire. Okay, Shakespeare.Why did you hire Coach?He needed a job. You didn’t needed
a part time pro. Everybody gets
a second serve. You’re like one
of those places that
takes in the lost puppies. I’m a pushover, I know. Hard shell,
soft center. Not too hard I hope. I imitated him
the other day. Who? Coach. Oh, yeah,
everybody does that. Yeah, but
they’re meaning to. I just did.
It just came out. So? So I think
that I may be
more fatal. Into Coach. [chuckling] Do you know
that he lives
in his van? Yeah. Owen. You are not Coach. Not yet.(Sherry)
Thank you.You know, I know
it’s not much,but while the place
in Nantucket is
being finished, it’ll have to do. I run a public
recreation center, Owen. Money does not
impress me. That’s good. Thank you
with Jake. He’s a good kid. He’ll accept you
for some reason. I’m taller. Just barely. You know he’s got
the hots for somebody. Really? Who? I can’t tell you that. Oh, come on. No, no, no. What is it
going to take? Huh?
You want a part
of my kingdom? I have
a ten-year-old cat
you can take, too. I actually like cats. I need to hit
the head. Okay, sure.[Mark Greary singing
California Solo]What are you doing?A River is Crossing
by Owen Match.Stop. Give me that.No, no, no.
This is exactly
why I came over here. No, yeah,
I knew it. You’re a spy.
Jake told you. Jake mentioned nothing.
I swear. Well, they’re just
dumb poems. Why do you think
they’re dumb? ‘Cause the only person
ever saw them told me so. I think it’s great
that you write.
I do. And actually
I have a friend. An old college’s
roommate. She has a coffee house
on Bardstown. And they have
open mic night
on weekends.You should
read them there.College roommate.
Is she hot? She’s a lesbian. Ah. Not that kind
of lesbian. Oh. You know, this sense
of humor of yours, it’s just
a defense mechanism. Defense against
evil in general
or just fascism? You know, if you don’t take
anything seriously, then
nothing can hurt you. You take
everything will hurt you. What does that mean? I have no idea. You have a sickness.(Cindy)
did you miss me?Oh, shit.
What’s the date? What, it’s the 27th. What? Oh, God.We got
the whole week.Hello. Oh. Owen? Ah, Sherry,
um, this is Cindy. Oh, I get it. And she’s hot. Oh. I get it.
I’ll let myself out. Sherry, listen to me. Of course.
This is exactly
how it would turn out. Sherry, Sherry.I don’t know
why I thought–Sherry. Goodbye, Owen. Sherry, please,
don’t go. Want me to call
one of my girlfriends? How many of those
you had already? About 11. Remember when I used
to talk to you boys
about Jean Paul Sartre?Going to need something
a lot stronger than Dewif we’regoing
to talk about Sartre.What was that I told you
Sartre used to say? Hell is other people? No, I think that was
Mother Teresa.No, he used to say,
“Human being is defined
by his actions.”Yeah, I know.
I get that. I know I’ve done
some bad things
in my life but– I’m a-I’m
a good guy,
you know. Those things
shouldn’t define me. You see that?I had that
for 47 years.It fades
during the winter
but it never goes away. Not entirely. I got them all over.I tried to scrub
mine off last night.Sure.You push it forward. Been pumping spheres
for 20 years. Got no health insurance.
On top of which all
the kids you taught probably turned out
than you did. Coach, you trying
to make me jump?You had a notion
once upon a time of maybe
going into something else,but you never finish college,
so you figure, I’ll teach
tennis. That’s how it starts.
You get seduced
by the schedule. You get to work
with all these pretty ladies
wearing short skirts.You sleep late.
Get to bronze your body
in the sun.Get the ball rolling
for skin cancer. Coach.Let’s face it, Owen.
You’re a lifer.You passed that point
of no return. Because what happens
to every tennis pro that tries to make it out
there in the real world? They always come back.They always come back.We’re institutionalized.
Besides, we don’t know how
to do anything.I was like you
once, Owen.And I thought there was this big ship
was just going to…come
through the fog and give meaning
to my job. You were that ship
for me, Owen. I’m sorry
I let you down. Who said
you let me down?Owen erased
his name off of all
of the court sheets.He called in sick. He’s on the roof
with Coach. Good.
Maybe he’ll jump. Mom, he fixed
Don’t jump, Owen.
Don’t do it, man.We’re all losers, man.We need you, man.
Come on down. Don’t jump.
I-I love you. Owen?
My office now. And put on a shirt.(Lingo)
Hey, Owen, do you have
an extra Dew?Yeah.[all shouting]Next time
you call in sick,don’t show up
on our roof or I’m calling
the Fire Department.I know how–Owen, please, don’t.I just added it
to my list of bad dates. It was over
before it started.
End of story. She means
nothing to me. Is that supposed
to make me feel better?Just let me explain.Owen, forget it.
Really, it’s over. And I really appreciate
what you’ve been doing
with Jake, but I don’t think
that’s a good idea
anymore. He’s got
a practice match tonight. He can play tonight,
but after that I–What about Combo Cup?I don’t think that Combo Cup
is a good idea for Jake
or the club.Sherry, you’re kidding.I don’t think it’s right
that you use my staffto settle some
with Charles.It’s not fair.Bullshit, Sherry, okay?
Don’t punish these guys
for my mistakes. It wasn’t your mistake. It was mine.(Owen)
Hey, where’s Jake?He went to the bathroom
about ten minutes ago. He hasn’t
come back, yet. Yeah, vamp’s too chicken
to play us a practice match. Shut up. Warm up with these A-holes.
Now I’ll get Jake. Jake? Jake. Jake.Leave me alone.Thought we had
a deal, man. What deal?You grow a pair,
and play these jackwipes.It sounds like
a one-sided deal
to me.Look, Jake, I know that you’re lost
in the fog, but I can be
your lighthouse that
brings you to shore. What are you
talking about? I don’t–
I don’t know. Just-just
and play. I’m too nervous.Nervous is good.
it matters.You are never nervous?I’m nervous
all the time, Jake.Look, in fact,
I’ll make you a deal. If you come out
and play these guys, I’ll go read my poetry
at that cafe your mom’s
friend runs.You’d do that?Yeah. Yeah, but you got
to be there and you got
to bring your mom. You can’t tell her
that I told you.We got a deal?Did they call me “vamp”?Yeah, they
called you “vamp”. If they’re going
to call you “vamp”,
then be a vampire. Play like a vampire.
Make vampire noises
and shit, man.I’m serious.
Got to get
your game face on.Lestat. I can be Lestat.What?A character
in the book. I am Lestat.So, is it on?It’s so on. [laughing]
All right. [hissing] [hissing] Nobody in the kitchen.
Don’t let anybody
in the kitchen. [cheering] Great. Yeah, Jake.
I was dreaming.Man, Emily,
she really got into
that whole vampire thing. Yeah, she takes
acting at school. You were like
a different person. You should
vamp it up
more often. I think
I was treeing. Feels good to win,
doesn’t it? Well, when I was
out there, I wasn’t
thinking about winning. You know?
It was just cool. You should be proud. Today was
the best day
of my life. It’s time to go. Later.Did you see that, Mom?Yeah, you’re a regular
Djokovic out there.It felt
amazing.“I am alone.“We are alone.“You are alone.“So alone.“I drift, midriff.“Nift.Alone, so alone.”I knew this smelled
of tennis pro. Come on, Mom. He fixed my serve. “We are alone. I’m alone.” Thank you. It’s not better
than the last one,
then we’re leaving.[applause]All right, Owen.
Woo!I’m, um, my name
is Owen Match. It’s on. Um, I’ve never read
any of my poems out loud
before, so.It’s the first time.This poem is called
Second Serve.“A fine line
marks day from night,
dark from light. “A-a thin line
from seeing,“an edge
too clean to bear
encroachment or fault.“A lifetime
of labor and play
in courts of clay, “gashed with nets,
thin, white edges. “Love is pointless, “only in this game.“Off courts,
love is all.“Flesh and bone
and heart beyond
games lost in one.“Not to miss
the mark this time. “A new line. “My second serve
is ours.”[applause]Hey, uh– I just wanted
to thank you guys
for coming. I got to say,
I enjoyed the hell out
of seeing you nervous.Yeah, about needed
to change my boxers.I’ll see you tomorrow. So, uh, what did you think
about the poem? It wasn’t stupid. Thanks. I should say,
I thought it was
really nice. Look, I’m sorry
about Cindy. I…totally forgot
to tell her that– You forgot
to tell her what? That I like
somebody else. Coach told me that
you tried to rub off
your tan lines. No. Yes.
I did. It was an out-of-body
experience. So, what do you say? About what? About– About everything.
About us. About Combo Cup. God, why is it so hard
to stay mad at you? ‘Cause you
barely know me. Yeah. Okay. Okay what? Okay to…
all of it, Owen. Really?
So, it’s on? It’s what I said. No, no.
You said it’s–
You said okay. Is it…on? Oh. Oh, right, oh. It’s on. [laughing] See?
so hard, was it? No. Goodnight, Owen. Goodnight.(Owen)
You know, we got a chance
to get something here todaythat most of us
have never really
had before.And that’s respect. You know,
they may have
more talent than us. More experience.
You know they have
more money.But what we havethat they don’t have, heart.And intensity.
And tenacity.And we got a whole lot
than them.And plus,
we got strippers. [laughter] Let’s embrace
our dysfunction.And let’s get out thereand get all up in somebody’s kitchen.(man)
Welcome to the 13th
Annual Combo Cup.Hosted by
the Louisville Boat Club.Today’s first round match
pitched defending champs,
the Fountain Clubagainst the Derby City
we talked about.Lots of fangs,
lots of fun.Right? There you go.(man)
All matches will be
one pro set to eight.Kicking things
off today, a junior
mixed doubles match.Watch out, seniors.
Here comes the future.Here we go.Combo Cup.[no audible dialog][cheering]Ah. Give them the slice. [cheering] [cheering]And Derby City
takes a 1-0 leadin this best
of five battle.[cheering][laughing]Next up,
the tag team
triples match.Each team offers up
three pros who tag
in and out.What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Get off the court.Only two men
on the court
at this time.Yes.Yeah.Lingo.Yes. All right,
all right. Take the racket, dude.(all)
Oh.[cheering]With two matches down,
it’s a tied score.All right, guys.One-one.Next stop,
it’s the pro-am
doubles match.Featuring one pro
and one amateur.[applause](man)
Serve the ball,
Rain Man.Quiet, please.That’s brilliant.
Keep it up. Ouch. Ouch. Hey, O.C.D. Check it out, man. [laughing] [shouting][applause][laughing]That puts
Derby City ahead
of our defending champs.Two to one.It’s a hot day
in Louisville.But it’s about to get
a lot hotter up in hereas we bring out
a crowd favorite.A wild card
ladies’ match.Players rotate
in and out,and all women
must play.[cheering][cheering]Quiet, please.I don’t think I’ve ever seen
tennis this bad look
this good.Oh, we got a problem. Misty fell off her heel
and sprained her ankle. Oh, no, really? Go easy on them.
They’re not used to playing
with their clothes on. I got this. Yeah.
throwing a curveball
into the game.Looks like club manager,
Sherry Milton, is going
to hit the clay.[cheering]Yeah.Ouch.
Nice steer there
for the green team.But under article 58-B,
that’s an automatic
everything even again.Two-two.We both tagged her.After a short break,
the final round we’ve
all been waiting for.Pro versus pro.How are you doing, kid? I feel like I’m going
to have diarrhea. Yeah, you’ll
do fine, bubby.
I mean, Owen. I’ll see you
after the match. You’re not going,
you’re not going
to watch? I thought I’d sit
this one out. I don’t want
to make you nervous. Nervous means
it matters.Good luck.Hey.You’re a good coach.It’s a battle
of tennis lore.Owen Match versus
Charles Peter Hausen III.Charles. Why don’t you do
the honors, Owen? “P” or “D”? “P”. Good luck. Ah.(all)
Oh.You should’ve played
like thatwhen you werebetting
against yourself, Match.Oh. Are you all right? I don’t know. Do you want these? Get all up
in his kitchen. Yeah. Okay.(Sherry)
Woo!Let’s go.What are you–Time out,
time out. Oh. What are you doing? All right. This is how
it’s going to be?I don’t know
what’s wrong with me
today, Charles.Ah. Way out.If you were like 12 feet back.
and a little bit
to the right,that would have been right in.All up
in his kitchen.Ah.[cheering]You cannot
be serious. They’re looking on. Ah.[applause]Thirty-forty. Match point.(Coach)
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match. (all)
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.
“Game Set” Match.“Game Set” Match.
“Game Set” Match.You going
to serve this today?(all)
Oh.And we have a winner.Charles Peter Hausen III.Reigning champions
the Fountain Clubwill advance
to the next round.That’s the way
it’s done. See that?
Yeah. Oh, man. You kicked ass, Owen. Good game. Next time. Give me five, buddy. All up
in the kitchen,
brother.I was trying to.(Turner)
O.C.D., my man.[talking in Spanish] You got
a game out there. Yeah, you know, well,
I shagged a few balls
in my life. [chuckles]
I’m not touching that. Yeah. Owen, you know, I haven’t filled
your spot at the club. I’d like you
to come back. Well, thanks, Charles.
I, uh, I think I found
my spot. Sorry about your nose. Good game. “Game Set.” [chuckles] Coach, Coach, Coach. Do you have
any SPF 30? These ultraviolets
are freaking killing me. How you feel
out there? [chanting]
All up in your kitchen. All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.All up in your kitchen.♪ I’m thinking
I love you ♪♪ But I’m not sure ♪♪ You seem to have
Shown up at my door ♪♪ And it’s wide open
In front of me ♪♪ Outside ♪♪ The grass is greener
Than it’s been in years ♪♪ Or so it seems
That this could be ♪♪ A perfect
Beautiful day ♪♪ Beautiful day ♪♪ Oh I wonder ♪♪ How the clowns
Make those designs ♪♪ And look
That one is you ♪♪ Another there
That one is me ♪♪ That’s what I see ♪♪ On this beautiful day ♪♪ On this beautiful day ♪♪ In the afternoon
Oh this sinful bloom ♪♪ The sun feels good
On my skin ♪♪ With the perfect sky
Sunlight in our eyes ♪♪ Running straight ♪♪ Into the wind ♪♪ I know I love you
That’s for sure ♪♪ What amazes me
Now even more ♪♪ Is not your love
All of my inadequacies ♪♪ Outside ♪♪ Shining at high noon ♪♪ Is the perfect sphere
Of a whole full moon ♪♪ Like it is
On her spoon ♪♪ This has been a lovely
Perfect beautiful ♪♪ Been a lovely
Perfect beautiful ♪♪ Been a lovely ♪♪ Perfect beautiful day ♪♪ Beautiful day ♪